DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

They do sound like this. Maybe she’ll make a decision to not bother.

Say nothing. Not your husbands business.

It kinda sounds like she lives an amazing life earning lots of money, has lots of freedom in her job, has amazing experiences which is something most of us could only dream of.
Then theres your husband who somehow thinks he's better than her and knows better than her. I can imagine one day she will be buying a huge house way better than his and he will still be sitting there trying to act like the better person.

I would imagine your son and his girlfriend would think it's laughable that he is trying to impose these outdated ideas onto them. I think he needs to come off his high horse and realise the world is very different and people are way more successful than he is doing all sorts of careers he would deem unacceptable. Frankly I would be embarrased by him.

Yeah!
and she wins 😂😂🏎️🏎️

This is the world we live in now - times have changed and earning in social media is now the norm & pays very well

Mr Beast is a self-made billionaire and has been named one of the 100 most influential people in the world by Time magazine. Lots of early career lawyers are already being replaced by AI.

I'm with hubby. The girl is clearly a bit dim if she thinks getting paid to holiday in beautiful exotic locations is better than sitting in an office chair all day!

Is she aware that all her perks - travel freebies etc must be declared for tax? Presumably so. Makes inluencing a lot less appealing than it first appears.

Doubt many declare it all.

I believe DS mentioned that she has set up a company as she has two full time staff members (I want to say a camera man and a full time editor) so I’m sure she is aware of any relevant tax implications.

🙄Definitely vacuous...2 staff, blimey.

Honestly, your DH should be even more ashamed of himself.

Influencing is a short term career and she'll probably be earning nothing in 5 years time.

She is doing amazing then. Good for her!

If someone is very good at it then it certainly can be a proper career, and a lucrative one. It's also much harder work than it looks and a massive commitment to keep up constant, high quality, engaging content. Imagine having the commitment of a daily or weekly high profile newspaper column to write. Would he find that shallow and not a proper job?

I find probably 98% of influencer content dull as ditchwater but I'm not everybody's target audience so it doesn't really matter what I think, so long as other people are watching and finding it interesting.

Your DH is being snobbish, narrow minded and frankly he's showing himself as out of touch and behind the times.

I agree with you op, and I have real trouble seeing it as a genuine skill. Someone will come roaring in to tell me how very wrong I am, but I just don't.

HOWEVER, it is a job, it's earning her a living, your DS is 26 and I don't honestly see what you can really say. I think your DH needs to accept that.

but then how is it any different from a sales person selling a product, or an admin assistant typing data into a computer etc, to me it is skills but used differently and influencer is basically marketing and sales skills etc even if not necessarly directly selling. you could also say how is stacking shelves at a supermarket a genuine skill etc

thats true, influenced by the influencer

You’re so right, I think you’re husband is being a judgmental fool about something that he doesn’t really understand, if he expresses negatively about his son’s choice in a partner in these early stages he might live to regret it. What if they end up staying together?. Tell him if you’re sons happy with this girl to mind his own business otherwise you risk ostracising your son xx

I think your husband is being a dinosaur. I am late 40s and love watching the young travel youtubers. It's amazing the skill some of them have in video production and marketing.

I think it can be a very short term career and many travel vloggers do get tired of the relentless travel and move on, but also I think many businesses would snap up people like that in their marketing/advertising departments. Highly employable skills in my opinion.

Could be far worse, she could be a career unemployed person or trust fund baby.

It sounds like there may be some jealousy here, and it would be wise to mind your own business. Continuing to interfere in your adult children’s lives risks damaging your relationship with them and could lead to losing contact altogether.

It is not your business how this adult woman chooses to live her life. She is not doing anything harmful or illegal — and even if she were on platforms like OnlyFans, that still would not be your concern.

Managing a social media account involves a great deal of hard work and IT skills, as well as strong people skills and a thick skin to cope with abuse and trolling. It should not be dismissed or belittled. It's a smart way to become rich fast!. Much better than slaving in a 9-5 job you hate and still being broke like most 26yr olds and most adults. Perhaps your husband is a 9-5 broke man? Or maybe he is envious his son bagged a rich, beautiful famous woman? Whatever his reasons are he needs to get over it.

@ArtesianWater what do you mean lots of early career solicitors replaces by AI please

If I'm going to be a hundred percent honest, I probably wouldn't particularly rate stacking supermarket shelves as a skill.

But it is a job, it takes commitment to head on in each day, and, like op's ds' GF. it is a wage earner and as such cannot be dismissed out of hand. I guess the important thing is she is self-sustaining. But I'm not going to lie to op and say it's amazing and I'd be thrilled as the DM.

Your husband is wrong and too controlling. He will damage his relationship with your son if he keeps it up.

She's making a living and employing other people. It may not be something she can do forever but she can probably move on to creating different content. Sounds like she's be able to market herself to other job opportunities.

The concern about how he will have a place in a travel heavy lifestyle is fair enough but if they love each other they'll make it work. They are probably still quite a way from will you ever want to have children and if so what will you do then?

So for now you just express polite interest in how difficult it must be to make a living.

Bite away OP
She sounds amazing - hope she continues to have feelings for your son and you and H don’t put her off.