DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

And in 3 years or less, AI will be doing that. In fact it’s doing it already. Influencers will be one of the first jobs to go when we realise that everything can be faked. Standing on that mountaintop with the wonderful sunset and absence of crowds? AI fake.

Do you know what a youtube travel vlog even is? Please explain to me how AI will replace that? Also, one gaming youtuber tried to replace himself with AI, it did not go well.

Of course you need to bite your tongues.

He may ask your opinion (unlikely) but seriously, he’s a grown man and can make his own decisions. I’ve got two dc in their 20’s and they wouldn’t welcome comments about their choice of partner. If your DH starts criticising all it’s likely to do is reduce/stop him visiting.

It won’t, not entirely.
People will value high quality content which is real. We aren’t connecting well with AI generated content and people want to see real human connection and interaction.
Youtube is the most viewed platform because humans like viewing other humans.

A good influencer will have a range of skills, skills that highly valued by a range of employers.

Why is it a stupid job?
There will always be careers which pay more than teachers, nurses etc. it doesn’t mean they’re ‘stupid’.

He’s 26. What business is it of your DH?

I would imagine the main gripe with many influencers is the perceived lack of tangible value to society compared to other professions. Yes, there are some brilliantly informative, funny, engaging content creators out there but for everyone one of those it feels there are a dozen others whose USP is basically 'Im perfect and pretty look at me and give me some freebies'. Throw into the mix the failure to clearly disclose sponsored content or promoting products they don't actually use, over use of heavy filters, entitlement as they disrupt public spaces (filming in restaurants etc) while they prioritize their content over other people's experiences and my pet hate misinformation, people who present themselves as experts in fields like health, nutrition, or finance without proper qualifications.

AI fakes today are barely distinguishable from the real thing. Tomorrow they will be indistinguishable.
One study in 2024 study found that 40% of long-form posts on Facebook are AI generated. Today I guess it is the majority of posts.

People want to connect with people. AI can’t replace that although it’ll give it a good shot!

You are totally correct in a hands-off, say nothing approach. I'd have a word with DH and advise him that he may well ruin Christmas and his relationship with your DS if he criticises her or her career choice. Good luck 🤞

AI will change a lot but ultimately it won't hit that last 2%. The nearer it gets, the harder it becomes, and that last 2% is the stickler. It's like driverless cars.

That is the equivalent of more conventional types of advertising.

You don't need AI to create 'fake influencers' - you can just do an old fashioned TV ad.

Yep

Whenever a professional online influencer makes an in-person appearance in my city, my social media becomes full of posts from my (usually older but not always) friends who can't WAIT to be the first one to announce that they "don't know who this person is" and "don't care, and don't understand why people care...".

Clearly you care more than me, Janette - you knew she was in town before I did!

Reading the OP’s updates I wonder if the girlfriend’s parents are having a chat thinking the DS isn’t good enough for their daughter.

Your DH needs to keep any thoughts to himself unless he wants to alienate his son. This woman (assume not under 18) is trying to forge a career for herself. Generally it would indicates a self starter who has get up and go and possibly passion about some subject. Influencers have to be creative and organised if they are working with brands to fulfill contracts, and they are given opportunities many can't ever afford. Often I see these influencers on trips with their partners to the most fabulous places. Many large companies have actual work roles that include coordinating with influencers on contracts, for instance another school mum at our school does that job in Boots. Many of the influencers I follow are clearly doing very well for themselves indeed. Id offer that unless she is playing at the role (and is hopeless at it, not a success) he is completely wrong. If she chooses not to be an influencer full time then many do then work in fashion or travel alongside. As someone who works in marketing theatre and events, there are roles for digital marketing people who have this skill set. And not just in my field. In many. She will have plenty of transferable skills.
I think he's behind the reality of the times.
And so it might even not be forever, but equally it might set her for life.

This thread reminds me of a conversation I had with my mother. We were talking about youtubers and similar online celebrities. She couldn't understand how on earth they made money and was convinced they planned, recorded, edited and moderated their videos for free out of "pure vanity". No amount of explaining about ad revenue, sponsorship deals or agents/managers would get through to her. I tried to explain that it was not much different to being paid a fee by a TV channel, but no - it was "just the internet" so everything there was "for free". It got to the point where she was being deliberately obtuse and "just couldn't understand...".

I think any one who can do something they love and make a living at it.. is brilliant.. i think looking at life through what's proper and expected tends to lead to boring and unfulfilled lives i think if she's happy and making a living and your son is happy leave them be.. she has a degree to fall back on maybe this is just something she's doing temporarily

A young woman living close to me is a fashion influencer. She had begun an unrelated career before she decided to try this. She seems to have a lot of fun and I think good luck to her enjoying herself whilst she is young.

I think you’re right .
Just let your adult DS make his own decisions, don’t talk about it in a negative way to him at all or discourage him from being with her .
She is doing well now and that’s what matters , it sounds like she’s a travel journalist in my opinion which would not be discounted as a career years ago before social media was so widely used .
Your husband sounds very judgmental

Say nothing and say it often is SUCH great advice 🥰

Can I add you are not responsible for your DH's conduct x

There are massive of what you might call 'stupid' jobs that very likely make more money than the more 'serious' jobs you've mentioned: advertising, footballers, acting, musicians, entertainers are a few that spring to mind. Should they all be dismissed because they're not worthy?

Not everyone is cut out to be a carer of some sort and life would be very dull without the more frivolous parts.

Do you never listen to music, watch a film or some sort of sport? Is your life completely taken up with noble acts?

How depressing that you assume the only way a woman in her 20s can make money from content creation is through OnlyFans.

Would you make the same assumption about a male travel content creator?

If not, why do you think a woman is less capable of filming, editing, and monetising travel content than a man?

Calm down, she's not a terrorist. Unless she's a SM creator for Hamas?

Your son is 26. A fully grown man. There is nothing for either of you to do. Enjoy Christmas and be grateful for what you have.