DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

I am 89, and have done quite a range of things to make money all over the world. The fact that the role of a social influencer seems to me a load of tosh is overruled by a strong belief that one should never dismiss another person’s racket without understanding what it entails. After all when I started out as a copywriter nearly 70’years ago hardly anyone knew what the job was about.

You both seem a bit snobby maybe. Is it really much different to someone working on TV such as 'Aplace in the sun' or talking on the radio? Some influences make a great career and great money out of it. Look at the 'angry Ginge' who was on I'm a celebrity or that girl Molly May who is a millionaire.

I know myself if I'm looking to go on holiday or buy a new car or phone or move house I would Youtube the area and watch videos. I think you should both give her a chance, especially if it makes your son happy.

thats the thing these days some even what we consider as established jobs are not necessarly skilled in a traditional sense ?

in a sense is an influencer any different than a football commentator ?

Plenty of people doing content creation are making incredible money doing something that they love and are knowledgable about. Most run it as a full on business and are often repped by any agency—plus it’s who brands want to work with now and it’s completely reshaped the face of advertising. If anything I think it shows entrepreneurial spirit. Also a lot of the jobs that exist today are nothing like the jobs that existed 20 years ago, so I think it’s better to be open minded about these things. I’d suggest asking more questions about her job and seeing what you can learn —focusing instead on what kind of person she is, what she’s passionate about and the fact that she makes your son happy. You might just find you really like her.

I would say yes to be fair. Football commentators are employed by the network (BBC, Sky, whatever BT is called now) like newsreaders are rather than self-employed.

I think there's an aspect of the impact of the job that people factor in. Football commentators enrich an experience that provides largely innocuous entertainment for many.

Influencers do entertain in a sense but they also flog things in a way that is slightly cynical and I struggle to view that as a useful skill. It does earn money, so i guess is useful in that sense but for me there is a gap between it and what I would think of as "gainful employment" in the sense of that term that suggests a proper service to society.

But as I've said above, I guess a job is a job, and if she likes it and it keeps the wolf from the door then great I suppose. But in the op's position, I can imagine feeling another job might be more reassuring.

fair points, and good debating,

true in that sense.

"Normal life, normal job" - according to who?

She's influencing in the realm of travel and experience though. It takes intellect to influence in that space, so I wouldn't be worried at all. Good for her.

Anyone knocking influencers/ creators as a short term gig should know the skills they are honing are coveted by massive brands, production teams, ad agencies, and creative teams.

OP, she’s already employing staff now - in the future this job can lead to anything from writing/publishing books to TV presenting. If she doesn’t want to be in front of the camera anymore, she can set up a creative studio and advise on social media strategy and branded content deals.

This is what the series MadMen would look like in 2025 - but this time Peggy isn’t the only woman in the boardroom.

Would he say the same if she was a TV presenter? It’s pretty much the same thing…

Then they’re very stupid because they’re literally flouting the goodies they receive online for anyone to see including the tax authorities. Who check these things very carefully

Your son is grown , so your husband needs to smile sweetly & keep his opinions to himself . For all he knows she could be a very kind & sweet girl who makes ur son happy . She is not doing anything illegal so what’s the problem ? In my experience if u mention anything to ur son all u will do is piss him off & push him towards her even more . So tell ur husband to button it . She could be making a lot of money in her chosen career & of course ur son is happy , end of .

Making anything more than chump change from social media is extremely difficult. One has to build up a brand, and in the past one would have a talent agency behind one doing this.

I am not saying this cannot be done but… in my experience entrepreneurs are not the easiest people to be around - “uncompromising” would be putting it politely.

I would also wonder if there was an OnlyFans account somewhere in the mix.

Oh you do?

How do you feel about marketing managers, video editors, social media managers, script writers,
photographers, business owners, entrepreneurs, networkers?

Because those are the skills you need to create content. I assume photographers also make you vomit then.

Agreed. I did a marketing degree and am so impressed by the influencer I know who is self taught and amazing. Who's developed all the skills you've mentioned.

Sounds like she's doing OK. Just because it isn't traditional doesn't mean it's bad.

My former GP receptionist started doing a few Facebook videos for a bet Turned into 6 figure career for her but she retained the attitude if it all ends tomorrow I'm a receptionist.

I think it's a stupid job, though it is true that influencers can make an enormous amount of money. Meanwhile, people who are doing really important jobs, like carers, nurses, doctors, social workers, teachers, cleaners, etc, etc, are struggling to make ends meet.

However, I think it would be very unwise to make critical comments about your son's girlfriend's occupation. It is his business and I think no good will come of interfering.

All so true ...

Your dh sounds rather pompous and old fashioned. He needs to get with it and quickly.

Your husband sounds like a dick. And she sounds cool.

What’s so stupid about earning a decent income from producing and presenting a travel show? I’m not a fan of influencer culture per se, but if she’s honest about what she promotes, I think it’s a very reasonable use of current technology.

Because any relationship is all about THE MONEY!