DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

He hasn’t said very much to be honest! But he has been influenced and wants to go to an F1 race next year!

now that he sees she could be worth knowing you mean?

Her work here is done 🤣

Well done that woman.

very out of date judgement. It can be a fantastic and satisfying career, and sometimes of real value to others. There is a whole spectrum. Some are pretty vacuous, about selling celebrity, outings pretending you have a life you don’t…… but a whole lot create super useful, emegaging, real content that informs people in a far more up to date way than transitional media. So for example, in the sphere this woman is in- I now get almost all my info from straight talking travel bloggers before going to a place, versus out of date guidebooks, who recommend the same stuff every year, slightly updated. I want to lean the pitfalls of being a digital nomad before taking the plunge- follow some bloggers who focus on that.

it’s a huge democratization of information. And very useful.

it also takes a huge amount of work, strategy and persistence to make it a success and stick out from the crowd. Plus skills across multiple realms - creativity, great presentation and personal impact skills, video editing/filming skills; marketing skills; empathy and understanding about who your target audience is and what they want, and all the business and resilience skills to be working freelance.

would encourage you to leave your judgements behind!

I've got a friend doing this earning 10k a month, she has saved up for a deposit and in process of buying a house with a 50% deposit! She plans to buy another flat in the future and rent this out for income as she knows the influencing life can be shortlived.
It can be a decent career path now.

He'll have his own YouTube channel by the end of the week 😅

She's got some better sponsors than some of the youtubers I watch with 500k followers. Good on her.

OP’s DH will probably ask for her autograph or a selfie 😁

But if she was a journalist on the BBC or writing travel for the Telegraph/Guardian- all in the public eye to an extent- you’d be fine with that I presume?! You’re acting as if he’s dating Bonnie Blue (is that her name)?

just because she does this now it doesn’t mean she will be doing it her whole life, but if she is then good for her! Imagine getting paid to see the world. I’m jealous 😂

The reality is these are new career options. Big brands want to work with influencers, because their target audiences listen to what they have to say. Far from having a low IQ she sounds pretty smart, opting for life on her own terms over being a corporate slave!

That’s quite the reach, they haven’t even met her yet. You sound quite angry about it all?

I do understand where your DH is coming from, and frankly I can’t say the word ‘influencer’ without doing a little sick in my mouth, but he needs to keep it to himself and be there for his son whatever the outcome. I realise there’s multiple cultural attitudes towards the issue but for me it’s not a parent’s job to interfere in their children’s affairs of the heart. They do however need to be a non-judgmental rock of support should things not go so well…

DH wants a bit of influence so is turning everyone against her.

I’m afraid I roll my eyes in despair when someone describes themselves as a content creator or influencer. Sure some can make a decent living but it’s never going to be a long term career.
but I would stay out of it each to their own and all that.

You need to make sure your DH doesn't say anything. It's basically none of his business and he will end up really hurting your son. Also, I bet she's earning twice as much as he was at that age!!

Seriously WTAF has it got to do with you? If he's happy STFU! You're a MIL from hell in waiting.

There not much these days that's long term. Pretty much everyone has redundancy looming somewhere.

I'm interested in content creators, some are really interesting.

I'm into travel and renovation mostly. 😃

I’d say it’s literally absolute none of anyone’s business but your son and his girlfriends to be honest. Plus he’s 26.. how much of your opinion do you really think he needs?!

It’s a valid career choice. What jobs aren’t precarious these days? Even the good old doctor and lawyer routes don’t lead to guaranteed job security anymore. The world is different.

My DSIL is an influencer - 15 years in now. She has constantly diversified and had multiple careers out of it (all shown online in her area of influence). She’s definitely not short of brains, grit or money. Your husband needs to check his judgement and get over it rather than risk alienating your son.

Indeed I think the path the young woman has chosen is precarious - as you said. I wouldn't discourage the relationship, but you could still point out how fickle social media are and ask your son nót to follow the same path as his girlfriend. Like it's always risky both partners working for the same employer, the same boss? Don't put all,your eggs in the same basket? If something goes wrong both will be without a job. It would be better for your son to keep his job as it is. It will be a security for both of them if they decide to go further in their relationship. If the girl has any intelligence she will agree with you!

Presumably at 26 the son is old enough to decide on his own career path.

I have dc in their 20s and I’d be more concerned if they were in a relationship with someone with no education, no ambition, unemployed with a desire to live off the state. Your ds gf sounds amazing - educated, clever, charismatic, independent, creative and earning good money running her own business. I’d be fascinated and want to know all about it.

What a pompous prat your DH sounds. And you aren’t covering yourself in glory here either. I hope you both get to know her and feel thoroughly ashamed of yourselves. Either that, or she meets you both and decides she doesn’t like either of you.

Put it this way, if the girlfriend was going on all these trips and writing about them for Conde Nast Traveller or National Geographic...or presenting a TV programme about travel...would your DH be so judgy?

Or is it just because it's social media?