To be concerned about my dd being friends with this woman

[Holiday888]

My dd is only 22 year old and she’s become friends with a middle aged 29 year old lady. Aibu to be concerned due to the huge age gap and the fact this woman must have completely different life goals to my young daughter

so...two women in their 20's are friends.

and that is what the whole thread is about.

gosh

But even if it was - and most posters disagree with you - why is it any of your business if your adult daughter has a slightly older adult friend?

Very soon? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 no one born in July says their birthday is very soon during December.

OP you’re either wishing people up or you’re an extremely weird person.

And there the discussion needs to end. You asked for opinions. All posters have given you the same opinion: a friendship between a 22-year old and a 29-year old is not something to be concerned about. But you are determined to maintain your view that it is a problem. I hope you haven't shared your view with your daughter.

Even if the daughter had a vulnerability - does that matter?

Let’s pray this one doesn’t

Oh this is the OP’s one and only thread. How sad …

Did you maybe mistype your DD's age then and she's 12 not 22?

Like it's not massive at all

Bizarre.
OP, you must be at least 40, assuming you were an adult when your daughter was born. So if the woman at 29 is middle aged, what does that make you? Geriatric, at best.

People are being very mean to the OP. She must be either fifty or very close to it so we do have to assume she is living with dementia.

I would be genuinely concerned that this friendship, will lead to a new dissatisfaction with cheep wine and Ikea furniture.

You are being ridiculous.

29, middle aged?!
Good God, now I’ve heard it all.

So your daughter at 22 should be out partying, whilst her ‘middle aged’ - all of 29 years old friend should be settling down, blanket on knee, watching tv & in bed by 9 latest?.
OP, in no-one’s world but yours, is 29 middle aged. This friendship age gap is nothing at all. Unless the friend is a horrible person and dragging your daughter in to a world of drugs and theft why would you have any concerns at all?!

I appreciate we don’t all worry about the same things, but this is a total non issue.

But everyone has told you that it isn’t a massive age gap. Aren’t you taking that on board? Friendships aren’t romantic relationships so age is less of an issue anyway.

I’m in my early 40’s and last night I went out with my friend who is 69. We had a great time, didn’t stop talking and laughing. It doesn’t matter that our lives are at different stages.

Why should she be settling down at 29. I see the ahe of feminism is alive and well. You do need to properly quantify your concerns coz really it's going over everybody's heads but yours.

When I was 22 I was engaged to be married. I had older friends too. I adored my then 57 year old colleague and now I’m late 30s. I have a 22 year old friend. Yes it’s a different dynamic, but we bonded over our love of music and she views me like a big sister, someone who she can rely on for more mature advice.

i would understand your concern if you thought the friendship was inappropriate for other reasons.

Too much Baileys op?

@Holiday888
youre right OP, this woman should be settled down, slippers and cocoa at home every night, not gallivanting with your much younger , impressionable daughter. You’re right to worry.

So have the replies here made you feel a bit better about it?

OP I admit I haven’t read the full thread or all your updates.

From your OP though to be honest I’d be less concerned about your daughter’s friendship with this woman and more concerned about your over involvement in your adult daughter’s social life. When parents intervene like this it can cause massive damage to an adult child’s self confidence with huge knock on effects sometimes

What is it you’re concerned about? Age matters less as you get older, I have friends 10y older than me, we met as our kids are the same age and it’s a non issue! Likewise I am older than some other friends.

I dont know the exact ages of many of my friends and I dont know/ask/care about the ages of my children’s friends either. There is nothing strange at all about the ‘age gap’ - do you quiz your daughter about everything in her life?

1. The average lifespan of a woman in the UK is 83 years. That makes "middle age" 41.5. Not 29.
2. The end of July is not "very soon," it's more than half a year from now
3. It's 7 years. Are all your friends exactly the same age as you?

Unless the woman is a criminal or a human trafficker or something, there's no reason to be concerned.

This is crazy - with 7 year age gap they could actually have been at school at the same time with one in upper 6th form! They are literally the same generation 🙈

Also, if the friend is 30 next year then surely you're DD is 23 next year as well?! 🤦‍♀️ They will forever only be 7 years apart

A 29 year old is barely a millennial (oldest members of gen z are 28). There isn't even a generational divide here. They are both young women and may actually be in very similar stages of their life, because not everyone is following the same timeline. Just because you were a certain way at 29 doesn't mean that's the blueprint for everyone.