Would you forgive this?

[charlotte82]

Hello, I desperately need other people’s perspectives as my mental health has taken a battering and I’m struggling to know what to do.
Been with husband 18 years and we have two children together.
He has been sacked from his job due to sexual harassment. We’ve never had issues with anything before, or him with work.
Hes been saying sexual words at work, saying that colleagues are attractive and fit and in good shape. Comments on customers bodies, saying her boobs are massive, she’s really fit and attractive. This one girl at work has raised this all about him but there are witnesses to the comments. Apparently he’s quite touchy feely with her, only stuff like hand on shoulder when talking, brushing her hair away to look at her earring etc. But she obviously feels so uncomfortable to have brought it to this point.
He hasn’t cheated and I don’t believe he has or would! Although on the flip side I would never in a million years have thought that he’d say these things at work either.
This is a massive trigger for me, cheating and trust issues. It’s plagued me for my whole life and I did have therapy when younger due to boyfriends cheating on me etc.
How am I ever going to be able to move past this without constantly thinking now that he’s looking at other people or I’m not good enough, slim enough etc.
Please, please tell me what you’d do in my situation. My head is scrambled and I don’t know what is the right thing to do for our children and my own well-being.

That may be the case or it may be that she is desperately searching for reasons why the colleague over reacted or lied so that she can stay with her husband and pretend it didnt happen.

I can sympathise with that. Going from a place of contented family life to it being blown up like this is absolutely terrifying. Sadly, I suspect that she will be back in the situation or worse in the coming years, but some women really cannot or will not contemplate dealing with ending their marriage. They would rather close their eyes, stick their fingers in their ears and sing lalala rather than face the reality of the sort of man they are clinging to.

No, l wouldn't forgive as it's grim. Plus it doesn't sound like he's told you the entire story. Personally I would be getting him gone

He sounds so slimy! Wow!

OP, is he well?

Like this at home?

Could it be early Alzheimer's if you haven't seen this behaviour before?

No, because like some people who have dementia etc, they don't realise the change in behaviour. Which is why I was going to the GP, not my DH.

Probably because those ‘dozen folk’ have tens of years of medical knowledge behind them who have witnessed down falls of men (and women!) affected by neurological disorders who’s lives are obliterated before anybody realised there was a (very serious and often aggressive!) problem.

The OP hasn’t returned to tell us if it’s new behaviour. There will be witnesses because it likely did happen- nobody is disputing that. Just medical professionals stating there is a very slight possibility all might not be as it seems.

We are very far from deluded- in fact very experienced.