Countdown on my birthday: Will they remember . . .

[Delphinium20]

Lighthearted, as I believe there will be an avalanche of well wishing the minute the first one remembers and texts the rest of this sorry bunch.

Now, I'll just say I am not one for big, expensive gifts nor grand parties. A simple brunch out at our neighborhood restaurant and maybe a small gift and card is beyond lovely in my book.

However, outside my 5yr old DNephew who isn't allowed phone time and can't read, the rest of this lot is currently on probation until I hear otherwise:

Listed in order of who should be figuring this out first:

Naughty List
DH (nuff said)
DF (he's 80, but in sound mind, lives with us, and he was there on the first one...)
DD 1(21) (away at her university, but c'mon!)
DD 2 (16) (old enough to know better)
DSis 1 (next to DF, has known me the longest, plus we're super close)
DSis 3 (youngest, but should be reliable)
Friends 1, 2 (known since we were 14)
Friends 3, 4 (very close)
DN 1 (17) (smart kid, pretty reliable)
DBIL 1 (50) (known the man for ever)
DN2 & DN3 (13 and 8) (probably remember but waiting for the family to tell them to call me)
DBIL 3 (newer, so more off the hook)
DSis 2 (high stress job, could be pulled into emergency work)
DBIL 2 (small kids, DW w/ high stress job)
DMIL (75) (has form for forgetting, but also has chronic condition, so no expectations)

Nice List
my dentist (sent me a 7:30 a.m. email)
DA (in her reliable fashion, mailed a card that arrived yesterday)

Happy Birthday although technically here in the UK it is past midnight now so Happy Birthday for yesterday. I hope your DH and DDs remembered in the end. I bet there would be hell to pay if you forgot theirs.

I don't think the OP is in the UK or Europe. So GDPR doesn't count.
And.. poor your dentist.

Happy birthday! I really hope they have redeemed themselves by now!

No! Everyone who wants to, can and should celebrate their birthday as much as they want! However old they are.
What a miserable, joy sucking attitude. Birthdays should be special, fun, indulgent, getting spoiled by those who love you.
I love my Birthday and have a wonderful day every year. I’m late 50’s and plan to keep celebrating until I drop - every year alive is worth noting, the alternative is worse!

Update:

DF came along as we drove to pick up MIL. As we're driving, Dsis calls to wish me a happy birthday along w/ DN (13) and BIL. My sister and I speak another language so I was telling in that language how DH and DDs had forgotten and think dinner is just w/ MIL and nothing else. We had a laugh cause she knows how they'll be when they figure it out.

All five of us in car when DD2 realizes, "oh, it's mom's birthday!" as she looks at her phone (and might have picked up some of the other language). DH who is driving yells, "WHAT!?!?"

There was a lot of "I'm so sorry" "I would have remembered" and "I'm really, so so sorry."

He did try to be funny as I wasn't going to be rude in front of MIL who was very sweet and wished me happy birthday (she'd forgotten, but like I said, she has a deteriorating illness so I'm okay with it). They truly, truly forgot.

Dsis2 is not responding to any texts, which means we know she's on some kind of work call.

I'll update naughty/nice tomorrow. But if DD2 hadn't figured it out, not sure when DH would have.

I did get champagne, chocolate AND lemon cake.

Ummm yes she can! Sisters, friends, and even her kids are old enough to sort something themselves.

Dsis who called and Dsis who is out of reach due to job are both in different cities.

Happy birthday to you too!!! I love all the twins/triplets/etc. today!

It was like 16 Candles for you - Did you get a cute boyfriend like Molly Ringwald?!?!

Happy b-day to your brother!!!

On my birthday years ago when kids were still at home, my family (including DH) forgot my birthday. I didn’t care too much about it and decided to wait it out to see if any of them would remember. They didn’t. Several weeks later, he called me forgetful regarding something unrelated. I didn’t take that well.

oh god @Delphinium20i FEEL for you. I’m divorced but amicably however I have three adult children aged 21 to 32 and they are monumentally disappointing on my birthday. All I ever want is a lovely card a small bunch of flowers they know which ones I love they’re not expensive, and to see them or for my son who is away at uni - a video call.
So five years ago, I started going away for my birthday week to the same tiny little place in Europe.

I know it’s my birthday, but I choose not to tell anybody and my extended family other than my wonderful aunt who sounds rather like yours tend to use this as an excuse to forget more than they ever did.
Happy birthday!

I bet they were wishing they could drill through your teeth like Laurence Olivier on Dustin Hoffman. “A new tooth is infinitely more painful”
What a miserable attitude to have.

I hope you’ve also said forgetting once was bad enough - anyone can say I’m sorry, if you’re sorry I hope you’re ALL planning on remembering next year. I remember everything for everyone and if you can’t be bothered remembering my birthday then yes I am very upset.

I think it’s sweet and lovely that you’re being so lighthearted about this, but I truly do hope you give your immediate family members, especially DH, a stern talking-to about this. Don’t accept “I’m sorry” and just laugh it off. This is an unacceptable way for your DH to behave toward his wife and the mother of his children. It sounds like you do EVERYTHING for them. That needs to stop. Your DH is not a child.

OMG. Are you me? I got a pressie from DH and youngest ( a teen) but my 3 oldest in their 20's all completely forgot. I was sad. Ny DF and DM rang at their request from my sisters ( they live there - she hates me) Two days late oldest DS and is fiance arrive to stay the night with such a beautiful present. A gorgeous basket, filled with home made cookies and a souvenir from their recent travels and a plant and flowers! From all of them, so they can come through in the end.

I know how much I'm paying for my dental care here in the UK!
And the staff at my current dentists - not the actual dentist and hygienist but the dental.nurses and receptionists- range from couldn't give a damn to down right rude. So much so that after the revent notification of another price rise I'm in the process of changing dentists.
So getting a birthday message from my dentist would be truly unbelievable .

There was a lot of "I'm so sorry" "I would have remembered" and "I'm really, so so sorry."

”I would have remembered” but WHAT? That doesn’t even make any sense.

About 3 weeks before mu birthday I loudly say ' oh it's my birthday soon' and ' I'd like x' flowers tbh. And a nice day with everyone being nice to me.

I also make sure I have a nice day. No housework, for a start!

“I would have remembered if you’d reminded me,” probably. Blame shifting back to OP.

Don't let him off the hook lightly OP, he needs to appreciate and prioritise you. There needs to be a grovelling apology, some lovely belated gifts and he needs to get it right next year.

I can’t believe how well you’re taking it.

OP’s jovial attitude, finding it oh so hilarious, is why people in some families get to treat mothers in the family like shit, and not value them. And so the cycle will continue. Depressing as hell. But the OP got lemon cake as well as chocolate, so it’s all fine and business as usual.

On a totally different note OP, and as someone who has always envied people with a parent or parents who speak a different mother tongue and therefore have the huge advantage of being to grow up bilingual or trilingual, I am curious if you made a conscious decision to not speak to your offspring in your mother tongue when they were growing up? I have a two friends who did that and I think they did them a massive disservice. But always interested in other POVs.

It made me laugh when DH said you could use the washing machine after him! I was staying at my partner's place on my birthday and I played the waiting game. At 11.30 pm we were in bed when he suddenly remembered that he'd forgotten to put the bins out and suggested I do it. I told him I thought it would be a nice treat not to have to seeing as it was my birthday. (He'd even been sitting right next to me on the sofa that afternoon when a friend rang me to wish me Happy Birthday. And I told him why she'd rung but it went in one ear and out the other.)

DH said he would have remembered, what does that even mean? Would have remembered if he cared? If he thought his wife was as important as him? If he knows she’ll be happy with crumbs?