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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Countdown on my birthday: Will they remember . . .

425 replies

Delphinium20 · 23/11/2025 16:46

Lighthearted, as I believe there will be an avalanche of well wishing the minute the first one remembers and texts the rest of this sorry bunch.

Now, I'll just say I am not one for big, expensive gifts nor grand parties. A simple brunch out at our neighborhood restaurant and maybe a small gift and card is beyond lovely in my book.

However, outside my 5yr old DNephew who isn't allowed phone time and can't read, the rest of this lot is currently on probation until I hear otherwise:

Listed in order of who should be figuring this out first:

Naughty List
DH (nuff said)
DF (he's 80, but in sound mind, lives with us, and he was there on the first one...)
DD 1(21) (away at her university, but c'mon!)
DD 2 (16) (old enough to know better)
DSis 1 (next to DF, has known me the longest, plus we're super close)
DSis 3 (youngest, but should be reliable)
Friends 1, 2 (known since we were 14)
Friends 3, 4 (very close)
DN 1 (17) (smart kid, pretty reliable)
DBIL 1 (50) (known the man for ever)
DN2 & DN3 (13 and 8) (probably remember but waiting for the family to tell them to call me)
DBIL 3 (newer, so more off the hook)
DSis 2 (high stress job, could be pulled into emergency work)
DBIL 2 (small kids, DW w/ high stress job)
DMIL (75) (has form for forgetting, but also has chronic condition, so no expectations)

Nice List
my dentist (sent me a 7:30 a.m. email)
DA (in her reliable fashion, mailed a card that arrived yesterday)

OP posts:
Delphinium20 · 23/11/2025 22:31

True...I will put 8 and 13 yr DN on the nice list. They're damn cute.

OP posts:
BangaloreLulu · 23/11/2025 22:33

Delphinium20 · 23/11/2025 22:28

DH just invited DF to dinner w/ MIL . . . I'll update when we get home.

Oh, now SURELY something good's going to happen now? I mean, DH can't spring an extra dinner guest onto MIL, especially if she's not well? Is your DF a double agent? Is he bluffing you? The game's afoot!

usedtobeaylis · 23/11/2025 22:34

This is really sad and I totally agree with you seeing it through. And as pp said, don't let them off the hook by saying it's fine. It's really not fine.

Greentrilby · 23/11/2025 22:40

To be honest even if it’s a super fancy restaurant with lots of family, friends, fizz and cake, I still would be miffed at my birthday being ignored all day. You deserve better.

minipie · 23/11/2025 22:42

Really hoping you have arrived to champagne and singing OP.

Happy Birthday from me. I’m not a big birthday person but I do think the people who live with you ought to bloody remember!

SixSeven · 23/11/2025 22:44

We need an updated naughty / nice list!

DarkNovemberBringsTheFog · 23/11/2025 22:45

Greentrilby · 23/11/2025 22:40

To be honest even if it’s a super fancy restaurant with lots of family, friends, fizz and cake, I still would be miffed at my birthday being ignored all day. You deserve better.

Yes, I really hate that when people pretend to ignore the event all day, and then spring a big ‘surprise’ party in the evening.

This means the person to be celebrated has been feeling forgotten all day. All about the others, and not the person whose day it should be.

Ohpleeeease · 23/11/2025 22:45

I wonder if this is all leading up to a big surprise celebration. You are heroic, OP. I would have cracked before now.

Hebalof · 23/11/2025 22:46

What is the noon/countdown thing? Were you born at noon?

Happy birthday!

VeryV · 23/11/2025 22:47

Delphinium20 · 23/11/2025 22:26

Leaving in 20 minutes to dinner w/ MIL. Not sure if I'm gonna burst out laughing or what. Seriously, how long can DH and DDs forget - makes me worried for their mental acuity. Should I feed them more folate?

Are you really finding this so funny? I wouldn’t in your shoes.

IAmKerplunk · 23/11/2025 22:47

DarkNovemberBringsTheFog · 23/11/2025 22:45

Yes, I really hate that when people pretend to ignore the event all day, and then spring a big ‘surprise’ party in the evening.

This means the person to be celebrated has been feeling forgotten all day. All about the others, and not the person whose day it should be.

I agree. If you love someone why would you deliberately want them to feel bad on any day let alone their birthday just so you can feel good. You can have a surprise party and still acknowledge someone’s birthday.

IAmKerplunk · 23/11/2025 22:49

Hebalof · 23/11/2025 22:46

What is the noon/countdown thing? Were you born at noon?

Happy birthday!

The op is in another country so it was noon when she posted (her time) the countdown was to see how long it would be for her loved ones to remember her birthday. As of noon (her time) only her dentist and aunt had remembered.

wandawaves · 23/11/2025 22:51

Happy birthday OP!

Saisong · 23/11/2025 23:00

Happy Birthday from a fellow Nov 23rd-er!!! That makes us birthday twins, or triplets I think!

Sorry to hear family have been sucky so far, hope it's being resolved as we speak x

I was fortunately blessed this year, but recall vividly the time my entire family forgot my 15th (and I'm from a big family). TBH I did quite well out of the guilt once they remembered!

SaltAndPepperNuggets · 23/11/2025 23:08

Is your father going to the meal?

If so, can't he say once you all have drinks " and a toast for @Delphinium20 birthday!" and you can see their collective faces!

TriesNotToBeCynical · 23/11/2025 23:22

Sleepyandtiredandlazy · 23/11/2025 17:06

Happy birthday OP!

I must say I got totally knocked off track by you saying you got an email from your dentist. Wishing you happy birthday????At my dentists they can't even be bothered being polite to me!

I told my dentist sending me a birthday greeting was a GDPR breach! Without specific permission, anyway.

Nanny0gg · 23/11/2025 23:24

TriesNotToBeCynical · 23/11/2025 23:22

I told my dentist sending me a birthday greeting was a GDPR breach! Without specific permission, anyway.

Really??

moto748e · 23/11/2025 23:32

Is that true? Obviously, they have that information (your DOB), but do GDPR laws really prevent them using that info like this? Or were you joking? I geniunely don't know.

Hedgehogbrown · 23/11/2025 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 23/11/2025 23:38

moto748e · 23/11/2025 23:32

Is that true? Obviously, they have that information (your DOB), but do GDPR laws really prevent them using that info like this? Or were you joking? I geniunely don't know.

I didn't take it to the ICO, but I did get an apology. I can't speculate about what they thought.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/11/2025 23:42

TriesNotToBeCynical · 23/11/2025 23:38

I didn't take it to the ICO, but I did get an apology. I can't speculate about what they thought.

And I cant tell you what I think without getting deleted.

I am sorry that you have to live inside that head.

NebulousWhistler · 23/11/2025 23:44

Sleepyandtiredandlazy · 23/11/2025 17:06

Happy birthday OP!

I must say I got totally knocked off track by you saying you got an email from your dentist. Wishing you happy birthday????At my dentists they can't even be bothered being polite to me!

Do you know how much dental care costs in the US? (Clue: enough t to send birthday cards to their clients) 😀

Happy Birthday OP. Here’s hoping next years is better.

Hebalof · 23/11/2025 23:52

IAmKerplunk · 23/11/2025 22:49

The op is in another country so it was noon when she posted (her time) the countdown was to see how long it would be for her loved ones to remember her birthday. As of noon (her time) only her dentist and aunt had remembered.

Edited

I don’t think it’s to do with the fact she is in the States. It’s the way she wrote “it's noon where I'm at, hence the countdown,” which reads as though the countdown and it being noon are intrinsically attached. Because it could have been any time of day and she was waiting to see who would check in, but use of the word hence implies that there is a countdown because it is noon?

IAmKerplunk · 23/11/2025 23:56

Hebalof · 23/11/2025 23:52

I don’t think it’s to do with the fact she is in the States. It’s the way she wrote “it's noon where I'm at, hence the countdown,” which reads as though the countdown and it being noon are intrinsically attached. Because it could have been any time of day and she was waiting to see who would check in, but use of the word hence implies that there is a countdown because it is noon?

Surely it is more simple than that - as in you would have expected your dh (and indeed other family members) to wish you a happy birthday before midday. I don’t think there is anything specific about the timing, more that once one family member remembered they might remind another family member and so the onslaughts should begin.

MyrtleLion · 24/11/2025 00:07

I'm watching this now as I want to find out what happens.

Today (23rd) is my favourite brother's birthday. I texted him at 9.30am because no-one wants to be woken at 7am on a Sunday on their birthday. We don't do presents because he and his wife declared they weren't doing presents for adults any more about five years ago. But he texted back thank you immediately.

Happy birthday, OP! 🎉🥳🎈🕯️🎂🎁🧁🍰🎶💝💞💕🍾🥂