To say my DP can’t rent his house to his close female friend for cash

[divisifting]

Been with my boyfriend for over a year now although most of that time was a distance relationship. Since moving closer in August he’s been practically living with me for almost 2 months although not actually moved in.. just living out of a bag staying here every night but usually once a week or so going back to his place on a Sunday just to do washing etc.

Relationship is progressing very well and he’s met all my family and friends yet I’ve not met his. His parents do know about me and he’s promised I’ll meet them this month but an issue has been he has 2 extremely close female friends really his only close friends. They were both married but I was always a bit worried as they would go away a lot the three of them and one of them would say she loves him etc. one of them split from their husband this summer and it’s the only time we’ve argued is when one night he went out with her and her kids when the other friend was away and tried to hide it from me pretty much.

also call it coincidence but when he started living with me coincides with the time I briefly met the other friend and it was a very awkward short interaction, my instinct is she’s jealous as afterwards I heard her husband was upset and my bf was devastated because she told him things wouldn’t be the same and they’ve not been as close.

he said this was also because of the other friend though who’s rapidly got with a new partner involved with kids etc after a very short time. Not sure why but this friend has been living with her kids at the other friends house.

then last week my DP/boyfriend said she wants to move into his house for a bit of cash while her marital house sells and I gather so she can also have this new guy stay with her and her kids. This has caused a big argument as I said we hadn’t even discussed his contribution living with me or him moving in properly and this would change it from being a choice and pretty easy going if he wants to go back to his to actually him moving in for 8 weeks plus because he wants cash.

Tbh I also feel weird about it that he seems to be prioritising these female friend always and the thought of her moving into his house sleeping in his bed makes me really uncomfortable and I feel like not only would he be here by obligation but anytime he went back to his or left for a day etc I’d be super anxious he was there with her!!

we had a big argument and he’s now sent me 140 he says he’ll pay each month. He’s doubled down and now said what if she just rents it for 4/5 weeks over December with a contract and the cash goes in a joint pot for spending on activities for us but I still feel worried about it can I have any thoughts please AIBU? He’s said he’ll be upset if I say no and it makes no different to me but I think it does and she doesn’t need the house she just wants it for cheap rent.

The first red flag is he disappears on a Sunday to do his washing - could be using a local shop for that. Second red flag is you haven't met his family and have only his word they know about you. Third red flag is he is in a shared ownership property - to rent that out to live with you he needs permission from the Housing Association. Have you any proof he actually owns a property. Fourth red flag is the meagre amount of money he is willing to pay you as he will no doubt be scamming on the rent he gets from this so called friend in cash. You haven't said how you met - if on-line then be extremely wary. Send the money back and cut your losses. Do not leave bank statements or anything like that for him to see. Basically step back, say No and see just how far he's willing to go further with this so called relationship if you don't bow to what he wants. Take back any keys or change the locks.

Hi op doesn’t really matter what his debt is it’s his problem. I certainly wouldn’t let someone live with me for 140 what a cheeky bastard let him go if he does move in it’s 50/50 split not pocket money! Fuck that he is a joke thinking that is a reasonable offer.

£140 a month to live with you, does that even cover one weeks food? What are your outgoings? Are you both time travellers?

Oh OP this all sounds way more painful than it should be. My gut feel is there is more going on with at least one of these women. Who hangs around with someones boyfriend particularly if they are married with children. Also is this being driven by one of them? Doesn't seem like he suggested it, sounds like they are pushing it. I'd try to get as far away as possible asq uickly as possible

Why would it matter who rented the house if he's not living there?
I'd expect him to pay his fair share living with you, but wouldn't care how he covered the mortgage on his place.

You haven’t met his family after a year? His female friends are unfriendly to you? He’s been hiding meeting up with one of these friends at some point. He had conversations with female friend that she can move into his house, to rent it, but you had put the brakes on this, but he failed to mention to you that he ignored this, and continued to tell friend she can move in, as he’ll be living with you (which u definitely didnt agree to!)?! Sounds a catch!! OP save yourself the future dramas, and there will be lots, and get rid!!

I couldn't have a relationship like this.
My long term friends partner had 2 best friends both his exes .. my friend could never speak about her feelings to him as he shared everything with them.. he would ask my friend to let his dog out while he had coffee and cake with one if his " FRIENDS" he never stopped going on about them say the friend,was called Claire it was Claire this and Claire that.
She would go to his of a night and he'd sit on the phone with Claire and the other one while my friend was sat there.
She left him after 11 years she regrets all tjat time wasted.
I'd leave him behind x

This.

Too much drama. Imagine being married/having kids in this mess.
If he was the one, there wouldn't be all this as he'd put you first above these friends.

Cocklodger, I fear. Just say no.

He sounds like a real chancer, freeloader and and bs artist. None of this makes sense at all. You are being played.

He will suck every penny out of you and more.

Get rid of him pronto.

Put it down to experience.

👎😻x

How old are you people? You all sound really immature and childish.

OP renting right?

You will need to inform your landlord and seek consent to him moving in. This may be reasonably withheld and/or the landlord may wish to increase the rent. If you don’t seek permission then you may be served a Section 21 notice to leave for alleged breach fire regulations by having another person without knowledge of the landlord who is liable in event of fire under his insurance.

Rules and regulations surrounding renting are getting increasingly tougher and if DP renting out his property will void his mortgage and for cash in hand means risk of prosecution under tax and money laundering regulations

He's seen you coming a mile off.
You've let him stay FOR FREE, 6 nights a week. No wonder he thinks he can get away with offering you £140 per month
His female friendships are the least of your worries.

So he enjoys playing hero to his friends but thinks it’s ok to take the piss out of you. Ok.

@divisifting

Well done for ending it! I think future you, or maybe even current you, will thank you for doing so!

He’s defo been hiding you! You deserve better.

End the relationship now ! You are a means to an end and I would not want any part of it .

You are being used as a place to stay to benefit him and his friend. Sorry OP, but he is using you. Run.