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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Absolute CF. I know IANBU but sharing anyway.

1000 replies

JeffTheSquirrel · 06/11/2025 11:22

I bought 3 tickets to a show this weekend, for me & DD + a friend of her choice. I paid for them all (£50+ each) but told the mum of invited friend that I didn’t want any contribution. All good.

Now the friend unfortunately can’t make it (legit reason). I mentioned that I’d probably be able to sell ticket as it’s very popular, so no worries (as it happens, another friend has accepted a late invite).

The mum of original invitee asked me to transfer the cost of the ticket to her, so she can treat her DD for missing out.

Eh??

I mean that’s batshit, right?

OP posts:
EggCustardTart · 06/11/2025 22:06

I wish there was some way to meet this woman in person because I'd love to see if she's this bonkers on other matters.

The mind boggles at her thought process.

Such irrationality is a joy to behold but must be hell to live with😂

scienceteachersarefun · 06/11/2025 22:06

notatinydancer · 06/11/2025 22:03

I’d mean ‘sorry I don’t understand’

Right. Others are using "sorry" as well, though.
She shouldn't apologise.

dontletmedownbruce · 06/11/2025 22:07

Strewth. They can’t make it, so you have to ‘make amends’?? And by ‘make amends’, the woman means ‘give me money’.

Entertaining though it has been, I think this mum is too crazy to keep talking to. Probs time to wrap it up now.

Thank you though @JeffTheSquirrel for sharing this with us!

ReallyShortAttentionSpa · 06/11/2025 22:08

EggCustardTart · 06/11/2025 22:06

I wish there was some way to meet this woman in person because I'd love to see if she's this bonkers on other matters.

The mind boggles at her thought process.

Such irrationality is a joy to behold but must be hell to live with😂

Yes! She cannot be this bananas in a vacuum. There must be other signs.

HereForTheFreeLunch · 06/11/2025 22:09

ImpPeril · 06/11/2025 21:16

That's bonkers but if you would like to offer an olive branch for your daughter's friendship then I would reply with something along the lines of

"That's a shame to hear XXX is feeling so sad. Hopefully we'll do something else that XXX can come along to sometime soon."

(and then never offer something to her that could end up like this again! 😅)

Edited

No no no no. All the replies in this vein mean OP is promising to take X another time. You will now "owe" another outing.

Cuppasoups · 06/11/2025 22:10

I really wouldn't find this funny.
She is unhinged and I wouldn't want my teen around someone that sounds frankly batshit.

scienceteachersarefun · 06/11/2025 22:10

It's the entitlement, isn't it? Isabella was having a free night out, and now has missed it, so Mum wants the £50 's worth the kid missed out on!

scienceteachersarefun · 06/11/2025 22:11

HereForTheFreeLunch · 06/11/2025 22:09

No no no no. All the replies in this vein mean OP is promising to take X another time. You will now "owe" another outing.

I agree. Shut that down completely.

Poodleville · 06/11/2025 22:12

You're going to get nowhere with her and you have nothing to prove, so I would drop it now if I were you for the sake of your Dd's friendship - the tickets were for her benefit after all. I'd be tempted to end on "Good one, you almost had me going there for a minute!" so she can save face. She may or may not go.with it!

Just a suggestion!

Littlejellyuk · 06/11/2025 22:13

Calamitousness · 06/11/2025 21:33

She’s gone down the victim route. I’d be tempted to match her and say you understand how X feels since X being unable to come has caused your daughter distress. Then ask her how she planned to compensate your daughter for her upset.

Nailed it. 💯
Tables can turn. 👏

Francestein · 06/11/2025 22:15

Dude, we didn’t stop her from coming. You did. Sort it out yourself.

anon4net · 06/11/2025 22:15

I would be very very tempted to reply @JeffTheSquirrel

"Aww, we really do feel for her. It is upsetting to have a mother who is a CF [insert link to this thread]. Don't worry ___(insert her name) there's still time to change. The whole of Mumsnet is rooting for you!"

LeftieRightsHoarder · 06/11/2025 22:15

I'm actually impressed by this (now presumably) ex friend, OP. She has really taken entitlement to a new level, and she's holding her ground. Magnificent example of advanced CFery at its finest.

Have you invoiced her yet for the amount of time you've spent on this conversation, at your professional rate per hour?

NigelForage · 06/11/2025 22:16

I love this thread

Whyjustwhy83 · 06/11/2025 22:16

Fuck me she's entitled

Emptyandsad · 06/11/2025 22:18

Never play chess with a pigeon...

Londonrach1 · 06/11/2025 22:19

Littlejellyuk · 06/11/2025 22:13

Nailed it. 💯
Tables can turn. 👏

This!

edwinbear · 06/11/2025 22:22

I think I’ve worked this out. CF thinks you bought a ticket for your DC and her DC. You were happy to fund her DC going because the girls are such good friends. Her DC now can’t make it, so she’s assuming you’ve sold the ticket to back up friend - essentially selling her DC’s ticket on her behalf. She doesn’t realise a) it wasn’t a gift to her DC and b) you’ve not sold her DC’s ticket - back up friend hasn’t given you £50 for the ticket. The 3rd ticket was always yours to give to a friend who was free. She thinks you bought her DC a gift, which you’ve sold on her behalf, and therefore that’s her DC’s £50.

I mean it’s obviously bonkers, but I reckon that’s her logic.

GetThatToadOutOfMyHole · 06/11/2025 22:23

If your daughter wanted to go with a friend and CF’s daughter had cancelled but it wasn’t possible for someone else to come along then it’s your daughter who would be missing out and needed amends making to her.

If you then hadn’t been able to sell on the ticket then you are out of pocket and would ideally need reimbursement as it’s your daughter who has been let down.
I’d be going down that road if I thought CF would have any understanding. Does she think you are going to pay £200 instead of £150 for a night out she was just invited along to?

In my experience you really can’t reason with people like this though.
I used to buy Christmas presents for my nieces and my sister and BIL, I had no children so I’d really spoil them. One year my sister said as I spent so much that she wanted to wrap them up and say they were from Santa so she could spend less! I asked what she was going to say came from me and she suggested I buy another couple of presents to give them “from me”. She suggested it as it was totally reasonable and got my mum involved when I refused.

A few years later she came to me and said instead of birthday and Christmas presents that year she wanted money instead. This was in March and all her families birthday are later in the year. When I asked why she said she wanted one lump sum so she could book a family holiday! If I had gone along with this then I can guarantee she’d have still expected presents and I know her kids would definitely have not understood why they didn’t get Christmas presents so she was just trying to get me to pay for a holiday.

When we both got our inheritance she suggested I “donate” some to my nieces and wanted £10,000 putting in an account each.
My sister had money from our parents to support her all her life, weddings and cars and house deposits and I didn’t have any of those things.
I declined and said she was welcome to use her own inheritance but she said it wasn’t fair she had to spend money on her kids when I didn’t. She’d had this attitude all her life and managed to get my parents to agree.

In the end after I spent a couple of hours saying no she came up with a great idea that I’d put £20,000 in an account for her kids future there and then and she’d pay me back over the years. When I suggested she just pay the money she’d be paying me back into an account herself she fell out with me 😂.

The final straw before I went NC with her was when she wanted a new mobile phone but couldn’t afford one. She insisted her primary school aged kids were being bullied because their mum had “a shit phone” (it was a two year old iPhone) and bombarded me with messages. She fell out with her husband because his mum bought her own daughter a new phone for her birthday and my sister tried to get her SIL to swap with her.
When I started ignoring her texts she started calling my work phone and even texting my friends, I was so fed up I booked a holiday to escape her pestering for money.

The last call I took from her was just before boarding a plane and when I told her I was going on holiday she called me a nasty, selfish entitled bitch so I blocked her. She then messaged my best friend saying the same to her, when my friend asked why I was selfish it was apparently because I didn’t have kids and was just doing what I wanted.

We haven’t had any contact for years now and I often wonder how many people would have CF stories related to her. If she wasn’t blocked I’d put her in my phone as chicken fucker 😂.

Looociee · 06/11/2025 22:23

Surely this can't be real? Not saying you're a troll OP but even after years on MN I just cannot believe someone would be this much of a CF!!!!!

hidinginthebathroomagain · 06/11/2025 22:24

This is the best CF tale I’ve ever read on MN. I’m grinning with glee.

Agapornis · 06/11/2025 22:24

Did CFDD lie? E.g. told her mum you cancelled, but told you that she had to cancel? Is she making secret plans with a third party?!

Middlemarch123 · 06/11/2025 22:27

I want to nominate this thread for Classics, but I don’t know how too! I hope someone more MN savvy has already nominated it x

Trallers · 06/11/2025 22:28

Did the dd tell her mum you said she couldn't come any more or something? That's the only thing that makes it make sense. Otherwise she sounds 2 sandwiches short of a picnic.

rosierosierosie · 06/11/2025 22:28

I’d just say ‘I’m sorry but I think you’ve really misunderstood the social etiquette on this one’

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