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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have to move from sheer embarrassment?

292 replies

Wowwowweewa · 19/10/2025 23:17

I’m having new blinds fitted tomorrow so I was trying to move furniture but my sofa was too heavy. I knocked on next door and asked the guy there if he would t mind helping me.

He did, I thanked him and when we were done I offered him a beer. His response was- erm I better not, don’t think my girlfriend would be too pleased. I laughed and said something like “don’t worry, it was just a thank you” and he just said “yeah even so, best be off, have a good rest of your evening”

I don’t fancy this man, arguably he is attractive, definitely the goes the gym type but he’s not my type. But I feel so embarrassed now.

Aibu? I think my house will be up for sale and I hope the buyers enjoy the new blinds.

OP posts:
myfitbitisfucked · 20/10/2025 07:34

Owly11 · 20/10/2025 06:59

I bet he doesn't offer to sit and drink it with them though does he? That's not the same thing at all.

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Well obviously if he did it would mean he wanted a quick shag in between the bins being collected

Jesus Christ there are some paranoid as fuck posters on this thread.

CoffeeCantata · 20/10/2025 07:38

Oh God - this is an education for me, like 90% of MN!

So that’s seen as a come on? Wow. I must’ve put my foot in it frequently in the past. My only comment is - there is certainly a type of bloke (gym-obsessed, as here) who tends to think he’s God’s Gift and possibly thinks everyone’s after him.

And also…so what if someone is attached? Can they not have a beer with another human being? Blimey - how quaint!😳

pIum · 20/10/2025 07:38

ilovepuppies2019 · 20/10/2025 05:20

This thread is nuts today. He helped her move something heavy and the OP offered him a cold drink. Don't many people pop into their neighbours homes to help or have a chat and get offered a coffee, cold drink or a beer? This is completely normal behaviour. If his girlfriend is uncomfortable with him having a cold drink after helping a neighbour then he's in a controlling relationship. OP don't even think about it twice. I think I would have burst out laughing uncontrollably if he'd implied that I was coming on to him.

Totally agree and actually funniness of the thread aside I think it's pretty depressing how many women can't imagine a woman and man having a beer together without it meaning something more. I honestly think it's quite pathetic his girlfriend would have a problem with it.

hididdlyho · 20/10/2025 07:39

I think his assumption you were trying to come on to him is more embarrassing. He could have just said 'no, thanks for the offer' and left.

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 20/10/2025 07:42

Are you single?
Are you around the same age?

I do think it’s a tiny bit weird to offer someone a beer in this situation. Was it to be drunk together in the moment or one for his pocket to take home?

In this scenario I would have thanked effusively at the time and then maybe left a bottle of wine by his door to say thanks at some point later (depending on the level of effort he had to make to help you).

His reference to the gf is also weird but he was prob just embarrassed in the moment.

myfitbitisfucked · 20/10/2025 07:43

DurinsBane · 20/10/2025 00:59

Imagine a woman posted here saying ‘my boyfriend had a beer round a female neighbours house just her and him. We don’t know her well at all’. People on here would be saying the man is in the wrong.

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Ah the old if the roles were reversed chestnut 🤣I would hope that in this specific context most posters would tell her to stop being paranoid and controlling.

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/10/2025 07:43

@Owly11

I bet he doesn't offer to sit and drink it with them though does he? That's not the same thing at all.

I don't see the problem at all if he did. A man and a woman can have an alcoholic drink without ripping one another's clothes off.

Also "my girlfriend wouldn't like it" sounds so pathetically wet. Either the girlfriend is a swivel eyed control freak who doesn't like him talking to women or he's just really pathetic.

If he found it awkward to sit around and drink he could have said had to get back but saying "my mummy wouldn't like it, I'd better run home now" is just contemptible.

I think he's the one who should be embarrassed, not you.

TheWickerWoman · 20/10/2025 07:44

He’s the one that should be embarrassed not you! All he had to do was say no thank you and go.

NapoleonsToe · 20/10/2025 07:45

JDM625 · 19/10/2025 23:30

Is offering a beer a regular part of your life and something you'd normally offer people in your home? Was he supposed to sit in your house whilst he finished the drink?

TBH- I find it a bit bizarre. If I wanted to thank him and keep good neighbour relations, I might have offered £5 or gone around after given them a small box of chocs.

Now that would be embarrassing! £5, I can only guess you're joking?

Summerhillsquare · 20/10/2025 07:45

Oh I had a neighbour like this. Gym goer, prison officer, generally pleasant but thought alot of himself. When his girlfriend moved out during covid he came sniffing round (much older /not gym bunny) me. Ugh.

NapoleonsToe · 20/10/2025 07:45

JDM625 · 19/10/2025 23:30

Is offering a beer a regular part of your life and something you'd normally offer people in your home? Was he supposed to sit in your house whilst he finished the drink?

TBH- I find it a bit bizarre. If I wanted to thank him and keep good neighbour relations, I might have offered £5 or gone around after given them a small box of chocs.

Edited to remove duplicate post

AlastheDaffodils · 20/10/2025 07:47

Does he answer to the name “Shaggy”?

If so OP, stay out of the bathroom when he’s around. And definitely don’t give his girlfriend a spare key.

SomeHorse · 20/10/2025 07:49

ilovepuppies2019 · 20/10/2025 05:20

This thread is nuts today. He helped her move something heavy and the OP offered him a cold drink. Don't many people pop into their neighbours homes to help or have a chat and get offered a coffee, cold drink or a beer? This is completely normal behaviour. If his girlfriend is uncomfortable with him having a cold drink after helping a neighbour then he's in a controlling relationship. OP don't even think about it twice. I think I would have burst out laughing uncontrollably if he'd implied that I was coming on to him.

Exactly. He was the one who said the embarrassingly presumptuous thing.

LinedOverLatte · 20/10/2025 07:49

It was a beer, not a blow job!

No need to be embarrassed at all - he’s the one who responded as though you fancy him and should feel embarrassed for jumping to that conclusion.

ThatOpenSwan · 20/10/2025 07:50

Fabulously · 20/10/2025 00:13

she went on to speak about a friends with benefit setup with a previous neighbour so it’s not outside the realm of possibility

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Sorry, just to be clear, you think because she's had sex with at least one man she wants to have sex with all men?

Megifer · 20/10/2025 07:51

Yea hes the one who should be embarrassed.

It's a very British thing to do. Move heavy stuff/decorate/put up flat pack, offer a beer to say cheers my guy, as long as its not like 2pm on a weekday.

Cringing for him

Dery · 20/10/2025 07:58

@Wowwowweewa - i think offering him a beer was fine. I think he simply recognised that his GF might not be wild about him sitting drinking beer with his neighbour without her there so he said no. No need for embarassment.

lessglittermoremud · 20/10/2025 07:58

My DH helped a neighbour carry some super heavy stuff up her stairs, she gave him a beer, he said thanks and brought it back with him…
He didn’t need to mention me and had he cracked the tin open and drank it there and then whilst chatting, it wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest…
Maybe he’s super proud he’s got a girlfriend and likes to mention it, maybe he thinks that he’s just so attractive you were just waiting to pounce….
Please don’t be embarrassed, I don’t really see how it’s any different to offering someone a cup of tea and I always offer one of those to anyone doing any sort of favour/job here and I’m certainly not trying to pounce on anyone 😂

lessglittermoremud · 20/10/2025 07:59

LinedOverLatte · 20/10/2025 07:49

It was a beer, not a blow job!

No need to be embarrassed at all - he’s the one who responded as though you fancy him and should feel embarrassed for jumping to that conclusion.

😆 👏

Invinoveritaz · 20/10/2025 08:00

I don’t think you need to move. I think a thank you would have sufficed.

BunnyLake · 20/10/2025 08:02

Did you just hand him a can of beer to take back with him? I can’t see anything particularly flirty in that if it was that basic. I guess it depends on the delivery.

Mishamotto · 20/10/2025 08:05

Do you have a history of going round to ask this particular neighbour for help though?

ThisPithyJoker · 20/10/2025 08:07

Oh you've done nothing to be embarrassed about - I'd have done the same. And we don't know what their relationship is like - maybe he's cheated before and now they have much stricter boundaries with each other. Maybe he thought you were attractive and thought it was appropriate to draw the line.x

MyDeftDuck · 20/10/2025 08:11

Crinkle77 · 19/10/2025 23:25

Don't even give it a second thought. He did you a favour, you offered him a beer as a thank you, he declined. End of!

This
And he might have a very insecure, controlling girl friend.

MrsDoubtfire1 · 20/10/2025 08:34

What is wrong with people nowadays? In the old days a beer would have been accepted and there would have been no jealousy from wife or girlfriend. Why? Because people trusted each other in their relationships and all this wavy boundary setting didn't exist. Poor jealous little girlfriend. Poor bloke who is harnessed up like a horse.