Are these red flags?

[90yomakeuproom]

I have begun seeing someone and have feelings for them but I am worried that there are some red flags. Would appreciate any views.

Previously spent time in prison around 10 years ago
Had some issues with drugs and alcohol until fairly recently
Speaks quite negatively about his ex gf

They are pretty big issues but everyone has a past and he says he has changed. Am I stupid to believe this? What would you all do?

Sorry but yes, red flags and he hasn’t changed if he is still bitching about his ex. Yabu for not seeing this. Walk away.

Raise your standards.

They're definitely not green flags.....

Go with your gut. The fact that you are asking the question means you are thinking these are red flags.

There would be too much baggage there for me.

What was he in prison for?

So he’s a drug-addicted alcoholic with a prison record and a ‘crazy ex’? She’s not crazy if she ditched him, and you’re asking if this prince of men is a catch.

All of this.

What did he go to prison for and how long is ‘fairly recently’?

What was he in prison for, what drugs, and what kinds of problems? What does he say about his ex gf?

Google his name. Most convictions ( especially those with long sentences) would have some recording within media somewhere

Sounds like a great catch maybe take him home to meet your parents they will love him, what would i do if i was you, i would get therapy and work out why i cant see for myself why this is wrong

I cant work out a way to dress it up as something fluffy

The prison sentence was ten years ago,it's drink and drugs was an issue till fairly recently.
So that should be ok🙄👍

I have tried this and can't find anything which I thought was odd....

Thank you for this and I genuinely mean this because I needed to hear it. Self worth is through the floor at the moment and I don't really know why.

The prison thing I could overlook depending what he was in for and if it was in the past but recent drug and alcohol abuse is a red flag, and talking negatively about an ex is a big red flag

Absolutely this.

Come on OP is this really the bar you’ve set yourself for a partner?

More red flags than Moscow on May Day

It depends on what he went to jail for and what he says about his ex. You haven't painted a great picture of him so far but detail might be missing

You sound like my husband's ex, or my best friend. Both always had absolutely awful men. Both suffer with bipolar. Take some time to get yourself sorted and feeling better

Most people who've been convicted of a crime are not on a web page somewhere that can be googled. The media would only report if it was a serious conviction or if the person was famous

No way would I do another date with him. He's dressed in red, nevermind waving red flags. Prison, drugs, alcohol, and of course the crazy ex. Dump and run fast.

Sounds like a catch

Previously spent time in prison around 10 years ago That would be a no for me. I would be barred from my career if i lived with a criminal of certain crimes. Does it impact his career? What did he go to prison for?

Had some issues with drugs and alcohol until fairly recently Would be an ‘no second conversation’ for me.

Speaks quite negatively about his ex gf This would be a red flag for me. Especially if it was vague. Ex is a bitch. Ex is crazy. Etc. Vague. Specific examples of crappy behaviour, maybe not quite so red but theres always context…

Everyone has a past
yes but everyones doesnt contain a prison sentence.

he says he has changed
people dont change. What is he saying has changed specifically?

Am I stupid to believe this?
of course. But you already know this ir you wouldn't be here asking.

What would you all do?
Not had a second date.

Oh come on OP. Raise your bar of standards for yourself.

Any one of these things on their own would be enough for me to not date someone let alone all three combined.

Not true, there are lots of 'court reports' out there most courts have journalists sitting in the public area.

If you’re asking, then they’re a problem. If you didn’t have concerns, you wouldn’t be asking.