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Original poster

Hosting guests, did we expect to much?

399 replies

Wardrobemarker · 17/10/2025 13:13

Apologies for the long post.

We met a couple abroad a couple of years ago where we have a holiday home. Kept in touch via what's app and met up them when we were abroad at the same time. We got on well but did notice they were a bit mean. My DH is overly generous and they were happy to accept my DH paying for dinner, drinks etc and never reciprocated. I kept telling my DH to stop paying for things but that's who he is.

Anyway DH then invited them to our country to stay for the weekend. We have a rental that we had just finished refurbishing and he offered them the accommodation before we put it up for rent. They gladly accepted and booked flights.

The rental is high quality, top spec and in a very sought after part of our country/area. We made sure it was kitted out with toiletries, towels, fridge was stocked with drinks and treats etc.

We collected them from the airport after a 4 hour delay ( not their fault). First night we had drinks in the local and got a takeaway on the way home. Second day we had booked a tour ( their request). My DH had booked and paid for it and told them how much it was. They never mentioned paying for the tour so DH didn't say anything more about it as he was thinking they might offer to get food, drinks etc. DH paid for three taxid, again they didn't offer. We bought the alcohol for our home that they drink and cooked lovely food, desserts etc. In total my DH spent close to 800 quid the weekend they were here.

In return they contributed nothing bar buying a few drinks for themselves when we were out. Surely this is not normal. I know I'm going to be told that it's DH fault for being too generous and I agree and he agrees himself but surely you would expect them to at least buy you a drink at the bare minumum.

OP posts:
Honeybee32 · 18/10/2025 18:58

I would be tempted to message them and tell them their bill for the tour was £££ amount and see what kind of response you get. They will probably sod off ans you won't hear from them again. Cheeky bastards.

Newsenmum · 18/10/2025 18:59

Do they think youre a lot richer than them? Also maybe its
cuktursl and they think its what you do? Would
it be the same if they invited you to theirs?

cornflakecrunchie · 18/10/2025 19:04

You & your husband sound a lovely couple.
I wouldn't ask the CF's for money back, I wouldn't lower myself. They have lost two people who could have been lifelong friends. It's worth £800 to have seen the light.
Wishing you continued happiness.

PinkyFlamingo · 18/10/2025 19:07

Wardrobemarker · 17/10/2025 13:32

I do agree that it's our fault and we were naively hoping that they would buy something. I just dont understand how you can be so mean though. My DH is not flash with the cash at all, I was actually really saddened by the whole experience. Lesson learned though.

Of course I can understand it! You didnt ask, they didnt offer and the freebies just kept on coming.

Jorge14 · 18/10/2025 19:08

Wardrobemarker · 18/10/2025 12:45

So an update. Myself and DH spoke last night and he read some of the posts here. He agreed it was the right thing to ask for the money for the tour.

Text message was sent at 9pm, something along the lines of " Hi Bill and Ben, just remembered I didn't give you my bank details to transfer money for the tour. I will send them now, thanks. He then sent a screenshot of the booking with the cost.

Literally instantly the cheerier one replies with a puzzled face emoji. We didn't respond to that. They then sent a message saying, if they had of known the tour was not what they had imagined they wouldn't have bothered because its not worth the money in their opinion.

We didn't respond to that either just sat tight. Thirty minutes later another message questioning if we knew if there would be bank fees involved if they did a bank transfer.

DH replied that he didn't know.

Another message, "probably be just easier to buy you a round of drinks next time we meet up" and a laughing emoji.

We didn't reply and went to bed.

This morning DH text and kept it light. Laughing emoji, "no thanks, you can just transfer the money . Wardrobemarker and I are not sure of our plans for next year so bank transfer be best, thanks.

No reply as of yet.

Bearing in mind a round of drinks for me and DH is literally 5 quid. The tour was 35 quid each.

Oh they are horrible little leeches 😩

Pinkdhalia · 18/10/2025 19:10

Arrange to go to them and spend a few days at their expense ask them to arrange a tour/trip that they pay for. Use it as your vacation! Get your monies worth!

DreamTheMoors · 18/10/2025 19:10

“Oh shut up silly woman said the reptile with a grin
”You knew damn well I was snake when you took me in.”
—excerpt from “The Snake” by Oscar Brown Jr.

Christmasbear1 · 18/10/2025 19:12

Bloody weird to be friends with people you've met on holiday

Grammarninja · 18/10/2025 19:14

They should be absolutely ashamed of themselves! Who could take advantage of such wonderful hospitality to such a degree?! They may be good company but they are not good people.

Please don't let them affect the way you behave with others in future. It's parasites like them that make generous and kind people jaded and circumspect with new acquaintances. I like to believe that most people aren't this way inclined.

PinkyFlamingo · 18/10/2025 19:14

Wardrobemarker · 17/10/2025 15:38

Calm down 😂 Im not as angry as you are. My DH is a lovely man who adores me and his children. We have a fabulous life together so there's no need to feel sorry for us. 😚

Show quote history

It's not a case of feeling sorry for you...what with all your mo eye what would we eh! People are trying to warn you about your DHs behaviour which isn't normal. More fool you if you choose to ignore it

FioFioSILK · 18/10/2025 19:17

They think you're minted and can afford it. As you have a holiday rental and another flat ten at you rent out. They used you. It was not friendship. Horror stories of wealthy people being absolutely rinsed by users are not unusual.

TeaAndTattoos · 18/10/2025 19:19

Honestly @Wardrobemarker I don’t think you will get a penny of that money back this is probably the first time they have ever been asked to pay for something people like them go
through life knowing that no one will
ever actually ask them to pay for anything. So you asking has probably caught them off guard. I wish more people would call cheeky fuckers out on their shitty behaviour.

alondonerabroad · 18/10/2025 19:27

Wardrobemarker · 17/10/2025 13:13

Apologies for the long post.

We met a couple abroad a couple of years ago where we have a holiday home. Kept in touch via what's app and met up them when we were abroad at the same time. We got on well but did notice they were a bit mean. My DH is overly generous and they were happy to accept my DH paying for dinner, drinks etc and never reciprocated. I kept telling my DH to stop paying for things but that's who he is.

Anyway DH then invited them to our country to stay for the weekend. We have a rental that we had just finished refurbishing and he offered them the accommodation before we put it up for rent. They gladly accepted and booked flights.

The rental is high quality, top spec and in a very sought after part of our country/area. We made sure it was kitted out with toiletries, towels, fridge was stocked with drinks and treats etc.

We collected them from the airport after a 4 hour delay ( not their fault). First night we had drinks in the local and got a takeaway on the way home. Second day we had booked a tour ( their request). My DH had booked and paid for it and told them how much it was. They never mentioned paying for the tour so DH didn't say anything more about it as he was thinking they might offer to get food, drinks etc. DH paid for three taxid, again they didn't offer. We bought the alcohol for our home that they drink and cooked lovely food, desserts etc. In total my DH spent close to 800 quid the weekend they were here.

In return they contributed nothing bar buying a few drinks for themselves when we were out. Surely this is not normal. I know I'm going to be told that it's DH fault for being too generous and I agree and he agrees himself but surely you would expect them to at least buy you a drink at the bare minumum.

They’re taking the piss! I spent a week and a half at a friend’s house recently and stocked the fridge with wine and paid for everything we did together. Staying in a hotel for that period of time would have cost well in excess of £1500 and I was well aware of how lucky I was to be able to stay central capital city for free. I’d be mortified if I didn’t at least offer something.

Wethers121 · 18/10/2025 19:27

OP, that’s a really bad lessons learned unfortunately. We have a holiday home and let family and fiends use it. We never charge but they always leave a few token gifts for the kids, £30 to cover the electricity and heating etc. Eve a bunch of flowers to show their appreciation.

PotatoLove · 18/10/2025 19:37

Your husband sounds like a kind and generous person, unfortunately people like those CF will always take advantage sadly.

I'd definitely not see them again, especially with your last update with the issue of them paying for the tour. "Round of drinks", my arse.

daisychain01 · 18/10/2025 19:43

This thread is just one big stealth boast.

why else would you create a thread when you know they are freeloaders and you also know your husband was happy to lavish everything on them in your high-end rental, with all the trimming. Whatever.

Bowies · 18/10/2025 19:43

The tour aspect especially is awful.

Their response says everything. If they don’t cough up it will actually give you a great excuse to avoid them next time - and hopefully they will avoid you anyway because of the debt.

Win win.

Sorry this happened but at least you know they are no loss and won’t waste anymore time (or money!) on them.

Cerezo · 18/10/2025 19:45

I noticed you said inviting people to your country - could there be an element of cultural difference?

Johna69 · 18/10/2025 19:58

Wardrobemarker · 17/10/2025 13:13

Apologies for the long post.

We met a couple abroad a couple of years ago where we have a holiday home. Kept in touch via what's app and met up them when we were abroad at the same time. We got on well but did notice they were a bit mean. My DH is overly generous and they were happy to accept my DH paying for dinner, drinks etc and never reciprocated. I kept telling my DH to stop paying for things but that's who he is.

Anyway DH then invited them to our country to stay for the weekend. We have a rental that we had just finished refurbishing and he offered them the accommodation before we put it up for rent. They gladly accepted and booked flights.

The rental is high quality, top spec and in a very sought after part of our country/area. We made sure it was kitted out with toiletries, towels, fridge was stocked with drinks and treats etc.

We collected them from the airport after a 4 hour delay ( not their fault). First night we had drinks in the local and got a takeaway on the way home. Second day we had booked a tour ( their request). My DH had booked and paid for it and told them how much it was. They never mentioned paying for the tour so DH didn't say anything more about it as he was thinking they might offer to get food, drinks etc. DH paid for three taxid, again they didn't offer. We bought the alcohol for our home that they drink and cooked lovely food, desserts etc. In total my DH spent close to 800 quid the weekend they were here.

In return they contributed nothing bar buying a few drinks for themselves when we were out. Surely this is not normal. I know I'm going to be told that it's DH fault for being too generous and I agree and he agrees himself but surely you would expect them to at least buy you a drink at the bare minumum.

Learn your lesson and no more invites.

Trishyb10 · 18/10/2025 19:59

You and your husband are kind,generous,lovely people who trust… and of course we trust, til we are let down and made a fool of, tis an awful shame,.. those folks are arogant,ignorant not nice people, get rid xxxxxxxx

HereWeGo1234 · 18/10/2025 20:00

I think you have been totally used by these people.

fortunately for you, you know when they’re going to your mutual holiday spot next year so if I were you, I would reschedule.

I understand you DH desire to pay and show his generous nature but in this instance I think they are laughing at him. Your OH sounds like a lovely person and hopefully the professional help around his need to be so generous will be sorted.

I hope they transfer what you have asked them to. I would be beyond appalled if they didn’t.

I don’t think they are going to change. IMO meanness grows with age so they are not going to improve. From what you have said you have a good family and network of people-you don’t need these users.

LuLuLemonDrizzleCake · 18/10/2025 20:17

That was a brilliantly worded text from your DH and his follow up answers were spot on too. Am interested to hear how they now respond!

AlexStocks · 18/10/2025 20:18

Is it possible there is a cultural difference where an invite means host pays and if you went to them, they'd do the same? Is there a language barrier?

Katflapkit · 18/10/2025 20:20

I loathe CF tight people, it's not even about the money - they are mean of spirit. You know they can never fully relax in your company as they too busy calculating and Scheming to dodge payment or score a freebie. It's nauseating. It's even worse when you start noticing it.

I don't think you'll get the money transfer but equally it empowers you to detach yourself if you see them next year. Doubtless, if they see you, they will be all all over you pretending it's all water under the bridge or they had forgotten the bank transfer request, giving a fake 'oh I thought we paid it.'

PrincessofWells · 18/10/2025 20:22

Op you and your husband sound really lovely people and shouldn't waste too much time overthinking this. Some people aren't but that's OK too 💐