I got shouted at in the gym today, AIBU?

[ShakenUpandUpset]

I was at the gym today and I got shouted at twice within the space of half an hour.

The first was for entering the women’s only space (I’m a woman, albeit a short and fat one). A woman came up to me and started accusing me of not being a woman, and essentially being a man. I was in a baggy shirt but I also think I look pretty “womanly”, I have long hair, obvious boobs, I was wearing leggings and very obviously don’t have a bulge or anything like that. When I answered and said yes I was, she seemed satisfied but spent much of her time glaring at me across the room and tutting loudly whenever someone else looked at me.

it’s just left me feeling totally shaken and upset. I am a woman and I shouldn’t be questioned, I have always known I was pretty ugly but this has just confirmed it for me and I never want to go to the gym again, because what if someone else makes the same mistake but gets even more angry?

Here here. All men out whether they are the dress wearing type or not. Stats show the rate of men who are a danger to women does not decrease with a certificate.

I wonder if this is all a non issue in countries like Austria where men & women all go into the sauna together naked? 🤔

My thoughts exactly. And AS shows they have no other posts to their name.

I’ve complained.

Nothing as yet other than an assurance that they’re “looking into” it. I don’t expect much to be done because it’ll be very hard to identify her!

I said I wouldn't post again, but, having heard this one before (as well as the others beautifully refuted by other posters), I've always wanted to ask...

Is the thinking here that, in Austria, every man, woman and child must use a (specifically mixed-sex) sauna multiple times each day and night as a necessary human function? Or that exposure to mixed-sex saunas cures the kind of PTSD that various posters have referenced above? Or maybe that the mixing of the sexes in such spaces means that universal stats of male-on-female violence are lower in such countries?

(For the sake of clarity, the above is rhetorical - even the last one, which was actually suggested by an activist on FWR recently, whose argument appeared to be that women's wish for single sex spaces may be compounding male violence against them... and they didn't even mean the black-masked kiddies and online threats 🤔).

As regards whether this is a bad-faith thread, I try to give the benefit, especially when the OP appears to be distressed. I have, though, sometimes thought it may be useful to create a handy guide to frequent signs of bad faith. There are a number mixed in amongst the replies above, including:

1. vicarious, repeated references or allusions to nakedness (eg. pulling down pants) - time was, this would have been something of a red flag

2. hyperbole and appropriation of the language of extremism to describe women requesting their rights (eg. "fundamentalism")

3. abusive language

4. strawman arguments (of which I freely admit I'm also guilty in my questions above, while relying on #5, below, mitigating this a little...)

5. ...a lack of readiness to acknowledge complexity or admit fallibility 😳😁

Well done and good luck, OP. I hope having done this will make you feel more comfortable returning in the future.

I have admitted “fallibility” though by saying that I would stop using my spray in the changing room and acknowledging that I didn’t realise it was such a big deal?

You misunderstand - my post was in no way directed at you yourself. I was very careful to refer to my numbered "tells" as being mixed in among the replies, not your contributions.

I almost always avoid making any call about a potentially distressed OP's authenticity - it feels wrong to do so. And I like to give the benefit, as a vulnerable OP stands to lose more than I do (nothing!), in the upset it may cause them if I get that call wrong.

But now, feeling like I should commit, I'm happy to say that I come down on the side of believing you. These things do happen (cf. complexity, above). The way it happened sounded awful. Good for you for taking action.

Also, FWIW, I've been a bit shocked too by the conviction that sprays are SO bad. Don't get me wrong, I certainly get it - as an asthmatic, I've suffered and felt ill - but I'd not realised that conventions had shifted to the extent that people are so legitimately angered by someone using one. Another thing to worry about when I eventually haul myself down to a gym!

Edited to remove somewhat crazed quantities of exclamation marks, on rereading.

It is a bad thing. Terms are bad people, with hateful, selfish hearts, who push their beliefs on everyone else, claiming they're trying to protect women. I never felt any danger from any trans people. It's an imaginary issue.

Trans women are women, and thry don't put anyone's safety at risk. Just bigots making scenes.

Thats absolute bs you liar. Where did you hear that?

Transwomen are MALES with PENIS AND TESTICLES. These most certainly do put women at risk, I suggest you educate yourself out of thinking a male in a dress is suddenly 'no risk':

Where did I hear what? That transwomen are males with a cock and ballsack?
Um, logic.

That transwomen sexually offend 5 times higher? STATISTICS, STUDIES AND DATA. It is very clear you are deeply ill-informed and misinformed.

My images for the last two posts haven't gone through yet.

Transwomen are men, and as such, studies show they retain male pattern criminality, including propensity to sex crimes and violence.

I'd go to the gym with you! I hope you have a friend to go exercise with. If you were in surbiton .. :) Please don't stop going because of ridiculous angry woman. It's her bad not yours and you are NOT ugly.