I got shouted at in the gym today, AIBU?

[ShakenUpandUpset]

I was at the gym today and I got shouted at twice within the space of half an hour.

The first was for entering the women’s only space (I’m a woman, albeit a short and fat one). A woman came up to me and started accusing me of not being a woman, and essentially being a man. I was in a baggy shirt but I also think I look pretty “womanly”, I have long hair, obvious boobs, I was wearing leggings and very obviously don’t have a bulge or anything like that. When I answered and said yes I was, she seemed satisfied but spent much of her time glaring at me across the room and tutting loudly whenever someone else looked at me.

it’s just left me feeling totally shaken and upset. I am a woman and I shouldn’t be questioned, I have always known I was pretty ugly but this has just confirmed it for me and I never want to go to the gym again, because what if someone else makes the same mistake but gets even more angry?

Definitely complain about this woman…and please do not stop going to the gym because of her

100% this. Well done on pursuing your health journey and getting yourself to the gym. 💛

Don’t be intimidated by the people in the rest of the gym. You will find the ones who look the fittest are often the most accommodating and like to see new people coming in.

Agree with the above and I generally hate strong smells and detest perfumes! If I occasionally use an anti-perspirant in the changing rooms, inevitably someone asks to use it as they are on the way to work and forgot theirs. You have to expect it in a gym changing room.

@ShakenUpandUpset I think you should have reported the lady who attacked you (not about using bodyspray) - perhaps you still can if they have cctv. Sorry you experienced this and she was way way way out of line 💐

Have you never heard of asthma? Or perfume allergy? Or migraine?
For some of us it isn't about "not liking", it's about the fact that having shit like that inflicted on us actually makes us ill.

Good on you for looking after yourself. I'm rather envious. Ignore that fucking idiot.

That woman was probably a MNetter who spends her life posting about women's only spaces on here. I really do hope she has learnt her lesson, but I would still complain and get them to address this with her because it is really unpleasant abd she could just be doing it to be a cow bag, not because she genuinely thinks a man is in a female only space. I'm sure after this has been raised with her she'll post an AIBU on here asking if she is BU to challenge people at the gym even though they are women. 😂

You should still carry on and well done regarding your weight loss. Don't let these dicks stop you from looking after yourself. My old gym always had body spray in the changing area, I think it's strange to not expect people to use a deodorant in the gym personally.

Please don’t let this put you off going to the gym and being healthy and fit Op, you have every right to be there. And well done on your weight loss.

Oh I’m sure they are! But it’s my own insecurities really. That’s why I was so happy to see that the women’s only room had machines and things and not just a big space with some weights!

They sounds like hideous people, remember this a reflection on them, not you. Sounds like you are doing great at the gym and screw them for their bad attitudes.

I’m kind of with them about the spray, although I wouldn’t have said anything and would never have shouted.

Any reason you didn’t shower instead? Spraying over the top of sweat doesn’t cancel out the sweat, it makes you smell like both.

Sorry OP, this is horrible. Some people are just crazy and will find things to make a big deal about. Don't let them drag you down. Neither of the things you said were fair reason to shout at you. Don't stop going to the gym.
These unhinged people are evrywhere and we encounter them and have to dral eith their bad energy. Do something nice for yourself to reset and know it is them not you that has any sort of problem.

Get aroll on deodoranf

Because I don’t want to carry a third set of clothes with me and I’m heading home to a lovely hot bath where I’ll wash myself

Report this crazy woman and get yourself a roll on. Don't stop going to the gym.

Ignore them OP, you’re doing brilliant, losing weight and hitting the gym, I’m very jealous but also very proud of you! X

I am so sorry this happened to you - what a horrible person. Well done on your weight loss and please do not let it put you off going to the gym. You will always get crazy, unkind people in life but there are lots of nice ones and hopefully they'll be at your gym!

Twice this week I've seen people lose it and be both aggressive and horrible to others, strangers to them, in public- once on a bus, a woman, and once from a driver in his car. It seems to me that increasingly people are carrying around so much anger that they look out for, and create, opportunities to let it out somehow. This was unpleasant and embarrassing for you but you didn't cause it or deserve it. Don't let it put you off going to the gym if you possibly can - your health and well being is more important than some rude witless stranger. Maybe think of some witty comebacks in case you come across her again!

The spray thing is absolutely not ok. Don’t do this. It’s really unpleasant for other people.

But you should’ve made an immediate complaint about the woman on the gym floor.

What a horrible gym visit OP. Very upsetting. The first shouter needs to be spoken to by the gym manager. This means you will need to make a complaint.
Actually what the first shouter should have done is told the gym manager about her concern a man was in the space, instead of taking it up with you directly.

On the spraying - gosh unless there is a large and explicit "no spraying" poster on the wall i would not even given a thought to spraying a bit of deodorant if I had been in the same position.

you are NOT ugly OP. No-one is. So please do not say that

Her behaviour, was awful - complain.

in regards to a spray for future reference, ideally outside/cubicle away from everyone is best IMO!

I agree with a PP who said the most athletic people are likely to be the friendliest and most encouraging. That's been my experience. My personal theory is that they're on a constant happy chemical high from all the exercise they do.

Wtf! She sounds nuts. Take no notice

You say you're short, OP, so you must mean below average size for a woman. It's a very odd thing for a woman to mistake someone who's what - 5ft-5ft 4in? for a man so don't take it personally. The problem is obviously with her. I'd complain too.

The first person is obviously visually impaired or just insane. I always move well away from other people when using body spray in the changing room and only use the tiniest amount. I think that it's the courteous thing to do or better still do it outdoors. Changing rooms are often poorly ventilated.