To ask DH to tell FIL to stop using our loo if he can’t clean up after himself?

[Septemberending]

We host my in-laws at least once a month for Sunday lunch and they pop round at various other points in the month.

Almost without fail, FIL will use the loo and it will be left in a disgusting state after - stinking as he hasn’t sprayed, water over the floor from where he hasn’t dried his hands properly and items such as the soap put back in the wrong place.

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

I’ve had enough quite frankly, and feel like it’s getting to ultimatum time.

YANBU, that’s disgusting.

Who cleans the loo?

Who cooks for in laws?

DH should be doing both!

Make it DHs problem…. he cleans the loo after his old man.

I think I could cope with misplaced soap and some water splashes once a month.

Next time you see him headed that way: "Frank, are you going to the loo? Please can you spray afterwards. Cheers."

I agree, he's your DH's Dad, let him be the one to clean up after him.

What you have listed doesn’t sound like “disgusting state” to me.

Toilet full of shit, toilet roll on the floor, skids - yes you have every right to be annoyed.

Splashes of water and displaced soap is not disgusting.

What's disgusting?

He doesn't use your spray?
He washed his hands and shakes them, drips as he reaches for a towel?
He puts the soap (which suggests he does wash his hands properly) on the other side of the sink?

What?

Sounds like my parents. It took them ages to realise what air freshener was used for, in a bathroom. Must be a generational thing.

Your version of disgusting is…

Water
Soap not in the right place
Poo smells

I think you are being a bit ridiculous. If he peddle-dashed the bowl and left skid marks on the seat, you’d be right. But a few drops of water that evaporate, soap in a different place, and a smell for a perfectly rational reason, YABU.

Is there a window? If so leave it open wide. If not buy some V I Poo and ask him to use it.

Don’t just complain to DH. Send him in there straight after his dad to clean up.

We had a similar situation here, DH thinks I’m nuts and the situation hasn’t changed, but I don’t have to clean it up any more, DH does it, or does it when I ask him to, because he knows I’m absolutely serious that either this thing stops happening (it won’t) or he deals with it.

Oh and some of us HATE air freshener. It reeks and gives people a headache.

So... He uses the toilet, washes his hands, and your main problem is that the soap is left in the wrong place?

If there's water on the floor, move the towel closer to the sink, problem solved. And as for "spraying" (air freshener, presumably?) try opening a window.

Get a grip 🙄

Agree! And many people don't like using air freshener. Just open the window.

The only thing you’ve described which is a bit unpleasant is the smell (although I don’t much like air freshener smell either). Can you leave the window open while he’s there? The other stuff doesn’t sound gross to me

I'm not sure what you mean by spray? Poo all over the place - yuck. Spraying the toilet is something that most people don't do routinely. I do it for the whole house on a daily basis.

As for the rest... that seems excessively detailed of you. if it bothers you so much, make sure your DH goes in after him to clean up a bit.

I had to tell SIL that she had to go sort the toilet out after DN - he was constantly leaving it in a mess. But that was a REAL mess...

Air fresher and shit smells worse than the shit.

Water and a smell. Hardly crime of the year.

we don’t use spray at home so it won’t occur to me to use one.
Water splashes and soap - it might happen if your bathroom is very different. Maybe he is used to a much bigger sink? I have this problem in other people houses, some modern sinks are so small and don’t have depth at all.
It’s not good but if it’s the only problem I would let it go, just tell DH to go after and clean.

Quite.

I would just wait for him to use it, check the damage, then say in front of everyone, 'Derek, could you go back in the bathroom and clean up please as you've left a mess.'

That should do it.

amen to that!

Thought this was going to be about terrible skid marks. Maybe he thinks your spray smells obnoxious and doesn’t like using it.

At least you know he’s washing his hands afterwards.

You’d be the worst host in the history of hosting. Shaming and embarrassing guests for a few drops of water?

Please do warn guests if you are like this so they can avoid you like the plague.

its far better than the smell of someone’s shite though

Cringe.