To ask DH to tell FIL to stop using our loo if he can’t clean up after himself?

[Septemberending]

We host my in-laws at least once a month for Sunday lunch and they pop round at various other points in the month.

Almost without fail, FIL will use the loo and it will be left in a disgusting state after - stinking as he hasn’t sprayed, water over the floor from where he hasn’t dried his hands properly and items such as the soap put back in the wrong place.

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

I’ve had enough quite frankly, and feel like it’s getting to ultimatum time.

The three things you have listed don’t sound like a ‘disgusting state’ to me. A bit irritating but hardly disgusting. Unfortunately most people’s poo smells. I wouldn’t expect a visitor to locate the air freshener and use it when they use my toilet.

This. I was expecting you to say he was pissing on the floor or leaving shit splatter under the seat. Not failing to replace the soap correctly.

You realise air freshener doesn't remove the shit smell, right? You just have two unpleasant smells instead. Opening a window is much more effective - actual fresh air!

Do your in laws travel very far to get to your house?? Surely your FIL could try going before he leaves his house??

i would never shit in someone else’s house, even family, unless I was absolutely desperate. I can’t really relax unless I’m at home. I think it’s weird shitting in someone else’s bathroom, especially if he’s doing it every time.

Then you get the smell of flowery shit, or pumpkin spice shit, or (worst of all) migraine shit.

Smell, water and soap in the wrong place?

Please read that back and reflect.

If you accidentally missed off that he pebble-dashes the toilet, doesn't flush and leaves skids everywhere then maybe you have a point. Otherwise, open the window and unclench a bit.

That's a you thing. It's not weird to shit when you need to shit, in a toilet, in a relative's house.

Why can’t you speak to him?

Not really, because it doesn’t remove the smell of shite, it just adds some additional unpleasant chemical smell to linger with it.

@cornbunting

Yesof course, I just feel it smells better than the shit smell alone.

You do realise opening a window doesn’t get rid of the shit smell straight away? It lingers for ages! (Unless it’s very windy outside)

I would never use a spray in someone's bathroom. Would your FIL even know where the spray was and that he should use it? Water drips happen. They happen in our bathroom too. And moving the soap is hardly an issue. at least he is washing his hands!

Hahaha I read the title and had a certain picture in my head… but that isn’t what I read. A bit of water, soap in the wrong place and a bit of a whiff. Jeez just ask him to be a bit more mindful but otherwise I would just get over it. Are you a bit OCD generally?

Ugh spraying air freshener around every time someone uses the loo is so gross.

There’s no window in that particular bathroom. We do have another downstairs one, but it’s generally not for guests and I wouldn’t dare let him loose in there.

Would you really? You'd demand a guest goes and puts your soap back in the right place. I am assuming most people don't visit you twice.

The poor guy has a routine! It’s hardly crime of the century. He’s having a shit at his son’s house, in the toilet.

There'll be a drip feed anytime now about him leaving a turd on the windowsill or something

Nothing in the OP is 'disgusting'

I wont use air freshner spray, its repulsive.

Soap put back in the wrong place? You really need to unclench.

Down that path lies this guy, who can only shit in a darkened basement in an empty building with a T-shirt wrapped around his head.

https://ask.metafilter.com/249560/Was-walked-in-while-doing-2-Feeling-violated-Any-ideas-what-to-do

Air freshner is awful stuff. Either open the window or leave on the extractor fan/light a match if no window. The rest would be annoying but Id ask dh to just wipe it up quickly after they left, after all it's only once a month!

That made me snort.

Does everyone have a shit in other people's loos? Maybe I'm the outlier but I'd go out of my way to avoid that

Me too 🤣🤣

Surely your FIL could try going before he leaves his house??

I find it bizarre that people think you can poo on demand.

Generally agree re. conventional air freshener not being the nicest smelling, but the one we’ve got costs a little extra and is worth every penny.