To ask DH to tell FIL to stop using our loo if he can’t clean up after himself?

[Septemberending]

We host my in-laws at least once a month for Sunday lunch and they pop round at various other points in the month.

Almost without fail, FIL will use the loo and it will be left in a disgusting state after - stinking as he hasn’t sprayed, water over the floor from where he hasn’t dried his hands properly and items such as the soap put back in the wrong place.

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

I’ve had enough quite frankly, and feel like it’s getting to ultimatum time.

Does shit smell worse coming from a larger person?

I would specifically ask/tell him to spray; lots of people wouldn't even notice that there's spray or think to use it in someone else's house unless there's an unusually bad smell and you're looking for something to try to neutralise it. And if he's causing a noticeable smell each time, he probably doesn't notice it or think it's unusual.

If it's genuinely bad, though, I think the fair compromise is for DH to nip in after FIL and clean up each time; it's not often and that way he doesn't have to confront his dad and you don't have to deal with the mess/smell.

Another awful MN host.
What is it about some MNers that makes them so weirdly rigid?

You'll be counting crisps and complaining about them not doing the washing up next.

Totally agree. I've got possible COPD and air freshener tightens my chest up so bad and I end up feeling like I'm coughing up a lung.

Would you rather visitors traipsed upstairs rather than use the downstairs loo?

In my experiences - yes, absolutely it does.

Put a reed diffuser or something in that guest loo.

It wouldnt occur for me to spray

As for water on floor and moved soap - thats really not a disgusting state. I thought you were going to say there was poo or wee everywhere

Buy a sensor aurfresher if your that fussed

Then it just smells of poo + spray

I thought this will be about shit all over the toilet or something along those lines…. I’m quite disappointed actually 🤣🤣🤣

Do you seriously sprint in right after he’s been, clipboard in hand, checking for infractions? Why are you nitpicking?

And what’s the grand ultimatum going to be? “Either your father retrains in advanced sink etiquette, or he’s banned from ever visiting again” or “banish your father forever or I’m out”? 😆😆

Oh I realise where this thread is going - or where the Op was hoping to steer it.
SHe wants to stop FIL from coming over.

Look if you dont want to host just say that. Dont dress it up as an issue with soap being in the wrong place (if its near the sink its in the right place BTW)

We don't use air freshner as DH has asthma and it's really annoying for him if people uses it every time they go to the toilet.
It's definitely not something most people in your PIL's generation grew up with so they may not realise that you think it's mandatory.

Just open the window when they are coming.

The rest - sorry, that's just normal

You could give it a go - if both he and the loo go off with a bang at least you won’t have to worry about the misplaced soap (you’ll probably find it in your dining room)

Yes

Of course people do! 😂 What on earth do you think a loo is designed for, other than the purpose of people weeing and pooing in it?!
I can't begin to imagine the damage people are doing to their bowels with all of the clenching required to avoid the apparent heinous crime of pooing in a toilet anywhere other than your own home

Agree. If OP really wants to see disgusting she should come and look at my wet room after my mum (94, living with us, advanced dementia) has used it. I could teach a class !!

Big Air Freshener keep it hushed up 🧐

I would open the window/put the extractor fan on before he arrives. The rest is just normal wear and tear IMO.

I think you're pulling our leg op

My first FIL used to retire to the bog for half an hour every morning with the newspaper and his pipe!!! When he visited ours, I always opened the toilet window and left a solid aur freshener in there, but he still stunk the house out. 🤢

Scented candle
Sensor air mister

Don't humiliate your fil

Hope you don't have small boys as they are nightmare to keep toilets tidy, literally years of training

Febreze in the pump spray. You only need a couple of spritzes - come out of the bathroom, spritz and close the door.

YABVU. I thought this was going to be pee all over the floor, and a filthy toilet.

The man creates stinky poos. He does them in the toilet. If it's an issue, send him to a toilet with a window and ask him to open / leave it open.

He also washes his hands (hurrah), moves the soap (definitely washing his hands double hurrah) ...

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

If it’s only once a month then I’m sure your DH won’t mind going in and having a quick tidy round

Your poor father in law ..

I think you have it in for your FIL. I was expecting to read about piss all over the floor. However, it seems to be water from washing his hands, soap in the wrong place and the natural smell of poo in a toilet.
I never realised air fresheners were a thing all the time in a toilet. My poor guests. Just open a window. I thought we were meant to using less chemicals.