To ask DH to tell FIL to stop using our loo if he can’t clean up after himself?

[Septemberending]

We host my in-laws at least once a month for Sunday lunch and they pop round at various other points in the month.

Almost without fail, FIL will use the loo and it will be left in a disgusting state after - stinking as he hasn’t sprayed, water over the floor from where he hasn’t dried his hands properly and items such as the soap put back in the wrong place.

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

I’ve had enough quite frankly, and feel like it’s getting to ultimatum time.

There isn’t mess!
Soap in a slightly different position and a splash of water on the floor isn’t ‘mess’.

Agree with whoever posted earlier that the Op is on the wind up.
Excellent use of Hyacinth Bucket gif!

So bigger people’s poo smells worse than that of slimmer people? I had no idea

Poor man. My 13yo has Crohn’s Disease. I hope he doesn’t end up with a DIL like you in 40 or 50 years. Also, we don’t have any air fresheners in our house due to asthma, but we survive. We don’t even drop dead at the smell of Crohnie poo’s.

For goodness sake . He is your husband's father, he visits once a month. Why don't you just leave the window open in the bathroom? A lot of people don't use artificial spray which doesn't get rid of the smell anyway.
Putting the soap in the wrong place and leaving drips on the floor is hardly crime of the century.

If you don’t like it, speak up yourself! You don’t need your husband to advocate for you.

Just ask dh if he could return the soap and dry the floor after their visit. Problem solved

So the toilet is clean?

Yeah, who wants shite with base notes of cherry blossom and hibiscus?

I thought this was going to be about him blocking your toilet with massive turds or leaving skid marks. As for the spray, I don’t understand how combining the smell of shit with sickly artificial fragrance makes it any better, you just have two horrible smells to contend with.

Do you have sufficient friends to justify using ‘everyone’?

Why on earth would you want to humiliate someone your DH presumably loves? It’s such a non issue.

Yes, I thought that would be what it was. Not using air freshener (?), splashes on the floor and not putting the soap exactly in the right place is hardly disgusting.

If you want disgusting I could describe how my nephew leaves the loo.....

poo smells. Just leave it a few mins before you go in. Glad my family aren’t as uptight about a normal bodily function.

I thought this was going to be seriously disgusting, but the soap and splashes of water are non-problems. How big is your guest loo? How far is the soap from its rightful home?

The smell sounds like the only actual problem. A toilet with no window or extractor fan is a baffling decision (though may not be yours, I concede) - if he doesn't instinctively use the spray, could you not use one of those gel things that's stuck on the toilet bowl or similar? Or designate your husband to (subtly) spray after his dad? You could offer your DH the choice to have the chat or pop in and spray as required. He can choose between awkward and smelly.

Air fresher doesn’t really take the smell away anyway just creates a weird smell. Opening a window helps.

agree

I would say spraying air freshener to cover the smell of shit is disgusting. He should be opening a window, or switching on a fan if you don’t have one.

The water and soap issues wouldn’t bother me.

Edit - I see he’s being using a loo without a window or extractor - that is a bonkers set up for one thing. I would get him using the one with a window until you can get a fan fitted.

I have heard of the lighting a match idea and supposedly it does work.

You just don't like him, which is fine I suppose but get your husband to air out the toilet afterwards or spray your concoction about if necessary but I don't think what you've described is particularly disgusting.... I mean no one likes a smell but that's what happens in toilets.

I’m not defending him but not everyone sprays after a poo, so like if he isn’t used to it I wouldn’t expect him to suddenly do it at yours. I don’t expect my guests to spray (although I’d prefer if they did or if they didn’t do a poo at all lol)

Im thinking you might be better off keeping the window open in your bathroom when he visits, so as he’s using the bathroom and after he’s done, the stench is already on its way out. And maybe get your husband to be on cleanup duty after his dad uses the bathroom.

Tell your husband to clean it up.

Quite! Such a major over reaction from Op.

YABVU. I thought you were going to say he always left shit all over the seat or something like that.

Getting so worked up about water drips on the floor and soap put back in the wrong place is absolutely ridiculous. Don’t you have anything else to worry about?

Just ask him to spray the air freshener when he’s finished. Or put a sign on the inside of the loo door saying that, when you know he's going to visit. Or get your DH to ask him to do it. The other things are far too petty to even mention.

Agree - but what ways is he stuck in? Ways where he has bowels that work and doesn't bugger them up by holding it in. There's a reason why there is that advert on TV celebrating the worker and the kids not being ashamed of going to the loo. Let's hope he or your MIL never become incontinent.

Some right Hyacinth Buckets on here. Ooooh, he’s put the soap back in the wrong place…

What a total over-reaction.

Plus tons of other longer term serious health side effects….heart health and lungs, hormones and reproduction…all just to add another layer to a poo smell. 🤦‍♀️

there isn't anything to clean up though, some water which will dry and then moving the soap.