To ask DH to tell FIL to stop using our loo if he can’t clean up after himself?

[Septemberending]

We host my in-laws at least once a month for Sunday lunch and they pop round at various other points in the month.

Almost without fail, FIL will use the loo and it will be left in a disgusting state after - stinking as he hasn’t sprayed, water over the floor from where he hasn’t dried his hands properly and items such as the soap put back in the wrong place.

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

I’ve had enough quite frankly, and feel like it’s getting to ultimatum time.

Is there an extractor fan?

Amazing 😂 Of course, methane doesn't actually smell at all. It's all the other stuff that smells, which is why what you eat affects the smell of your farts.

Maybe, given how uptight OP is that there's no window in this bathroom, the answer would be a scented candle. Marginally less grim than air freshener, and the added bonus of FIRE 🔥 😎

Give over op.
Size has absolutely no relation to the smell.
The contents of a persons diet certainly do. Those that have had alcohol the night before absolutely stink when they go in work. One guy is so bad the stench comes back with him clinging on his clothes after he’s been. His diet is appalling, judging by his meal deal plus cakes and sweets each day, he stinks revolting, and that’s after spraying!

Yes. The downstairs is next to the kitchen. I offer my ensuite, they decline.

One admits to having an arse like a drain.
I admit to my loo phobia. I absolutely hate people in my loos. Stems from childhood when the door was flung open by older siblings.
I had two parents to nurse one with bowel cancer, that made it worse.

I do appreciate the ops fil washes his hands, some don't!

Well I've just googled the match theory, and I was wrong. The trick is that the match produces a smell of sulphur dioxide, which is generally stronger than even the most noxious FiL emissions. So our noses smell that instead!

So the loo which the OP prefers her guests to use has no window - so it cannot easily be ventilated.

"Part F Building Regulations demand that all UK bathrooms have adequate ventilation. While a window is not legally necessary, a compliant ventilation system is."

If you have caused an unventilated toilet to be built or you have inherited an unventilated toilet, why can't you have a ventilator installed if there is an outside wall?

I once rented a flat where the bathroom/toilet had no window. When you put the light on, an extractor fan came on.

Install an extractor fan.
Have a liquid hand wash container fixed on the wall or tiles above the hand basin.
Move your towel rail closer to the sink.
Chill.

I would not want to spray air freshener in a room with no ventilation.

He's family. You can't treat him like this. Just close the door and wait until the smell is gone. As for a few drops of water and the soap, really, so what?

As for larger people's poo smelling more, I've been all weights from 108lbs to 256 lbs, and there is no difference. That's purely your prejudice for larger people showing.

I never understand it when people say they don't poo at other people's houses. If you need to go, aren't you extremely uncomfortable until you can? Just shut the door after yourself, or take a small can of spray in your bag.

I feel sorry for your FIL.

What are to feeding your poor FIL that he stinks up the loo?

Is the actual toilet left dirty or are you on about a bit of water splashed on the floor and the soap in the wrong place?

If the former, absolutely you're not unreasonable. But if its the latter you're massively overreacting and out of order.

‘The other bathroom isn’t for guests’

😂😂😂

That's nothing. Big Hazelnut limits the supply. I can't find them anywhere these days.

Sorry, when she said it stank and there was a mess I imagined skidders etc.

But if I was bothered by the mess they left and wanted it to be cleaned up I would say that.

Tell your husband that he needs to clean the toilet after his dad has been in there.

You have a downstairs loo that isn't for guests? How weird!

And you wouldn't "let him loose" in there?

Wow. Your contempt for your FIL is really cruel, and sad. You're not even talking about him like he's a person.

I have an Edwardian style basin in my downstairs loo which is quite large and deep but it is still very difficult to wash and dry your hands without getting a few drops of water on the tiles.

You sound like hard work OP. What do you think goes on in a toilet?
Water on the floor and soap not put back in its place is not disgusting.

Why are you cleaning it up?

His dad his problem - send the son in to deal with it

I wonder what John Harrington would make of threads like this

Would he think his hard work was wasted on the world.

'Ive invented something for the private, discreet, hygienic shit but people dont want it used'

or would he be all prissy like a lot of the MN posters here and think that he didnt want his nice porcelain messed up

In fact I believe that the inside toilet was treated with disdain when it became more widespread because people thought it was dreadful to do all your business inside the house. Its an outside privvy for me thank you very much

You still use spray? It’s so bad for your lungs!! Don’t you have exhaust fans in the UK?

Shit stinks. More news at 10.

It's once a month. Peristalsis happens after you've eaten and sometimes before when you can smell food.

Also fuck off with the fat shaming. Poo doesn't smell more on the basis of weight. It's about what you eat.

Not really sure what to suggest with the FIL situation, but I’m just glad to see I’m not the only one that finds adding to the smell of shit with a horrible chemical smell even worse than just the shit smell 🤣👍

Get an automatic spray. Scandiscents does a good one, or you can push the boat out and get Diptique.

How old is he?

My grandad used to leave the loo in a bit of a state in his eighties. He had arthritis and could barely move around. I really felt for him.

If he's very young and able that may be a bit different re mess. No one can really help smell!

OP has a loo that's off limits to guests, a horrible yet expensive poo smell masker and some weird notion that the bigger the person, the smellier the poo. I think we can see who has the problem here....