Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

I've never lost my desire for romance and a partner to live with, always wanted a nice romantic relationship in my life since I can remember.
However I track my period on an app and my sex drive definitely goes up and down in accordance with my menstrual cycle. I'm worried for the menopause because I don't seem to have a sex drive when there's a low chance of pregnancy. (We use condoms.)

I don't believe romantic love is a con, at all. The problem is people let it fade. It doesn't do that on it's own.

I love being single but also love being a parent. I had the last one independently.

Absolutely! Well said 👏 and no, I don’t think we’re the only ones who feel this way.
I agree with the OP when she mentioned societal norms - woman have been told for generations that we ‘need’ a man to ‘look after us’ and that we should be happy to ‘perform our marital duties’ no matter how unattractive the man makes himself by his poor behaviour (or lack of personal grooming 🤢)
I think women are thankfully now able to live very happy, successful lives without a man in the picture, which should have always been the case.

I totally disagree. I don't have to work at the relationship with my loved ones, it comes completely naturally. I don't want someone who is supposed to care about me having to find it work either.

Perhaps some of this comes down to semantics and we place different meanings on the words, but honestly if you have to work to want to be around me just leave.

It should. It's this idea that men are a prize to be won. I think it's overhang from when that was true because women were oppressed otherwise.

lol. I’d rather win a tiny piece of cheap tat at a funfair stall.

Lol okay sure

I came quite late to domestic life and absolutely adore it now. I've been cleaning all morning while the kids play. I'm doing an online course and some creative writing. Might have a glass of wine later.

So do you believe that it's not possible to be happy without a romantic connection?

I used to feel this way myself. Is that your view?

Unsolicited assurances to strangers online says otherwise to me

Yes I am like this most of the time. A combination of an overweight, now not sexy to me husband, coupled with a lot of stress and we cant have sex anynore since he has E.D so its been taken off the " to do list "

Same here. I love sex and intimacy with my DP, and we are very content living apart, which is incredibly unlikely to change for either of us. We are very commited, but our focus is our respective families (both have ND DC), and we enjoy our relationship in a separate sphere.

From past experience, as soon as I start cohabiting my libido disappears because I feel too stressed about not having my own space. Regular periods of solitude are vital for maintaining my MH. I wish I had figured that out years ago.

I hope I never lose interest in sex and intimacy as it brings me a lot of joy. I'm 43 and have been peri for 5 years, and am aware things may change, but I really hope not.

48 and came to this conclusion just a month ago. Decided to end my 8 year (second) toxic marriage for good and boy oh boy does it feel wonderful. I feel free and the thought of never having to have sex again is liberating. My sex drive died years ago. That relationship robbed me of my peace and now I feel like a weight has been lifted. I don't even feel sad which tells me all I need to know.

It's very much possible.

Unsolicited declaration to online strangers is just not a mark of genuine contentment, in my opinion.

Ooh, no. I’m 57 and I still love a good roll in the hay. It’s one of life’s greatest pleasures - like art, music, great food and wine, interesting conversation, beautiful clothes - it’s one of the things that makes life worth living.

I think especially with younger generations, they're exposed to souch male sleaze and negativity online, which is also where they do a lot of their meeting men, and let's face it, that would put anyone off. Any comments section of anything, any social media, and it's just the 'leaders and protectors' of the world endlessly whining about women not bowing and scraping at their feet. It's incredibly off-putting, and that's even before you get to the dating. Who the hell wants to even contemplate meeting someone that thinks and openly says they are owed something? Nah.

Unsolicited declaration to online strangers is just not a mark of genuine contentment, in my opinion.

It is a forum to discuss things no?

Same here. It was a relief to discover why I felt the way i did.

Romance, intimacy and making love is still very much a huge part our relationship. We have been married since 1992.

We have never let the physical side of our relationship slip and I do think a big part of that is because we have never let ourselves go, so still have a strong physical attraction and we have been very supportive of each other so there is no animosity or pettiness in the relationship which leads to the resentment and bitterness between couples that I often see written about on here.

53 and still enjoy it with dh, but if he is no longer around i don't think i would seek it out.

I think 'peace' is what so many women just want.

Has anyone watched The Good Wife? I'm always struck by when he moves back into the house and how it completely smashes the dynamic in her home to pieces. Some spaces just don't need a man.

It's an entirely personal thing - there is no right or wrong, and it's possible to be happy with a partner and not have sex, even though not widely spoken about.

@user043857398 you sound like the kind of person I'd be friends with in real life! Can I ask how did you find having a child as a solo parent in comparison to having one with a partner, do they mind not having a dad if their siblings have a dad that they see (I assume that's what you mean, might be wrong).
I'm considering it to have a third and last child, but my older two have a dad and I'd hate for any resentment to be present because of that difference.

God I wished I felt like this but its like my nether regions are dead. I found my H to be really attractive and he was a good lover but nope still no stirring down below. Even started testosterone but made no difference.