Old-ish man on the route to the Co-op who keeps saying hello

[RogueFemale]

I moved house last week and already have noticed this man. He lives on the short (7m) walking route to the local Co-Op. He's maybe mid 60s, tall, heavy build. He is always standing outside his front door, and he loudly says hello every time I go past. I ignore him.

I'm 60 and am used to being invisible.

So it's not a leering hello. I also thought maybe it was accidental he was standing outside before, or something, and just a cheery 'local' hello.

But I went past twice today (to Co-Op) and he was there both times, hello-ing, and I'm finding it quite weird, that he's always standing outside his front door.

I'm going to be going to the local Co-Op a lot, so what do I do?

AIBU to continue to ignore him and just doggedly go past for years pretending he's not there?

Apologies, @llizzie - I missed your other posts and didn’t see the tongue-in-cheek.

You're right, we can't win. But I do think it's generally safer to ignore rather than engage.

OP seems to have left the thread. Can someone please tell me how to unfollow this thread. Have tried all above.

You could just hide it, @Soosi.

Hi. SDTG. How would I do that. Can’t get on with this new format. Thanks

If you go to the top of the thread, @Soosi, there’s a box that says ‘hide’ and ‘flip’, just above the OP.

Hi. Have just looked I can’t see a box above original poster sorry.

This is what I can see, @Soosi.

Thanks for that. I definitely don’t have a page like that. I’ll come out and re log in.

It is instinct. We all have it: we don't all use it. A man exposed himself just as the kids were coming out of school. I phoned the police. He got six months.

I've been reluctant to return to this thread, after the pile on.

Just to say many thanks to those of you who understand why this man makes me feel uncomfortable and agree that I'm not obliged to respond.

I'm a bit amazed that it's 94% thinking I'm obliged to placate an unknown man. Are you giving your daughters the same advice, to go along with any random man who's a bit friendly, to be nice?

I don't think anyone is saying you HAVE to respond to this person. Most are saying that saying hello to neighbours is normal for them and assuming every stranger who says hello is out to get you is an over reaction. You obviously don't feel comfortable saying hello so just don't. Carry on living your life.

@Happyflower12345
"I don't think anyone is saying you HAVE to respond to this person."
No, mostly they're just saying I'm weird and a freak because I don't want to.

That's not the same as saying you're obligated to say hello back.

Here she is, back again, getting worked up by a neighbour saying hello. Thought you’d have calmed down about it by now OP. Clearly you are the one with the problem here, not your neighbour. Like you’ve said 94% of us have your are BU, but you won’t be told. So you just keep on scuttling to and from the Co-Op with your head down so you can avoid the friendly old neighbour.

Well, it sort of is. Look at the next comment from @Sus808, really not happy at all that I "won't be told" [to say hello like a good girl].

@Sus808, a man saying 'hello' doesn't mean he's 'friendly'.

I think perhaps if you are certain that you are NOT being unreasonable (and you may be right, I don't know), don't start a thread asking if people think you're being unreasonable,if you only want to hear answers from people who already agree with your opinion

Well I mean you don’t have to of course, but you also don’t need to get this worked up about it, you just keep on scuttling on by and then report back to MN about it.

The more I read your updates the more I think the whole situation is BS and you’re just bored.

I agree it was a huge mistake to post this thread. It wasn't that I just wanted people to agree with me, I was just genuinely disturbed by this man and wanted some feedback from women. It never occurred to me that the majority of women would think it's fine, and that I should smile and be nice to the abnormal man.

I grew up in central London. The rule is never, ever to stop if a man speaks to you in the street - e.g. asking what's the time. It's well known that if you stop and speak it already marks you out as a target - even just for theft. Worse, you could end up like Sarah Everard, going along with the 'normal' man.

Now he’s abnormal? Because he has said hello 🤦🏼‍♀️

Are you still going to the Co-Op every chance you get, op?

Well I’ve lived in inner London for the last 50 years and I think that’s complete bollocks. Of course it doesn’t mark you out as a target if you reply to someone who asks you the time. In fact, I think the opposite is true - if you ignore someone who asks you the time, directions, or just smiled and says hello, it just makes you appear stuck up, unfriendly, and rude. Of course there are times when it might not be wise to get involved in a conversation with a stranger, but that’s not normally the case. It’s abnormal to ignore people, not to try to be friendly.

I believe that poster's point is that you asked if you were being unreasonable. 94% of respondents say you are, yet you are belligerently holding to your original position. Why bother to ask others if you are being unreasonable?