Old-ish man on the route to the Co-op who keeps saying hello

[RogueFemale]

I moved house last week and already have noticed this man. He lives on the short (7m) walking route to the local Co-Op. He's maybe mid 60s, tall, heavy build. He is always standing outside his front door, and he loudly says hello every time I go past. I ignore him.

I'm 60 and am used to being invisible.

So it's not a leering hello. I also thought maybe it was accidental he was standing outside before, or something, and just a cheery 'local' hello.

But I went past twice today (to Co-Op) and he was there both times, hello-ing, and I'm finding it quite weird, that he's always standing outside his front door.

I'm going to be going to the local Co-Op a lot, so what do I do?

AIBU to continue to ignore him and just doggedly go past for years pretending he's not there?

Can I guess that you aren't up north? That is a perfectly normal thing to do round here and no one would bat an eyelid. In fact, its quite odd that your first thought is that he's mentally ill

He probably says hello to everyone that passes and is known to all that live locally. However, if YOU don't want to reciprocate then that's up to you, but I think your fears may be a little bit of overthinking the situation. I hope you enjoy your new home.

You are being ridiculous.

Or just acknowledge it with a smile and a nod and keep walking so that it doesn't invite further conversation.

I find this hard to get. If someone says hello it's like Pavlov's dogs I just say it back.

Are you typically high anxiety op?

It sounds like your thinking to much into this

Someone in a local village died recently. He had lived alone for years but he will be missed by so many people, he was part of the tapestry of the community because he used to do exactly this. Everyone knew him, he knew about and cared about people’s lives and they cared about him.

Sad to hear that this is your response

Are you a townie who has moved to a rural area? Its normal to make eye contact and greet people in the countryside or villages. If you never speak to people you will stick out like a sore thumb.
Is he smoking? Maybe he is not allowed to smoke in the house.
Hope things improve for you OP.

LOL. This is mad. Im irish, live in Ireland and this is the most normal thing. People stand in their doorways, they say hello to people as they pass by. Both rural and urban settings. You are going to think i am a right creep, because if I even accidentally make eye contact with someone, I smile and say hello. Maybe he is Irish 😆

😁 Same.

Are you always so cynical? Do you think he’s picking on you in particular?
(and how do you know he’s there all day, every day?)

Perish the thought that I ever have mental health issues/am lonely and people immediately leap to the conclusion that I’m a baddun’.
For goodness’ sake, just say hello back or cross the road and look forward if it bothers you so much. Or go to Aldi.

You're the only person coming across as mentally ill here! He says hello to people walking past. That's perfectly polite and normal. And even if he is mentally ill, what's wrong with responding and walking on?

Yes. There’s an older man local to me who leans on his gate all day; I’d guess he’s lonely and just enjoys watching the world go by.

Are you suggesting he’s going to start coming on to you if you say a polite hello as you walk by?! C’mon.

He might have been interested as to who would move in to the house your in, he could be just wanting to get to know you a bit. And to reassure himself that his new neighbour is relatively normal! Especially if he's lived in the area for a long time. If he grew up in a small town, he could be in the habit of greeting his neighbours. You're around the same age too. Chances are that he just wants a chat. You could just give him a wave too if you wanted to and carry on

I think OP knows the context and manner in which he's speaking and he is obviously making her feel uncomfortable. I would perhaps just raise my hand to acknowledge him as I went past, but not necessarily enter into any conversation if it were me OP, and I felt as concerned as you clearly do. Time will tell I suppose, if he's OK or definitely one to avoid! I think you're wise to trust your instincts.

Please don’t assume this is a nationality thing. Most of us can politely greet our neighbours.

Say hello back. He may be “creepy “ (tho thats a new one on me if you say hello you’re a creep. Id more suggest your rude

What a shockingly ignorant attitude. When you say "mentally ill" do you mean with a mental health condition such as depression or do you mean he has some form of mental impairment from a disability. Fairly prejudiced both ways.

This man might be lonely and just saying hello improves his day, or he may have a disability and saying hello brightens his day. Or he might just be a friendly person who doesn't like being indoors. He isn't harrassing you or following you.

There is a young chap with a disability near me who likes to count buses and say hello to people and we all stop to say hello or even have a quick chat.

Kindness costs nothing.

Man says hello so can’t say it back as he might get the wrong idea or might be mentally ill. I’m literally stunned

Why don’t you speak to another neighbour and ask about him? Be kind in your words and don’t assume that he’s a problem

Also why on earth have you settled for "being invisible"? Your discomfort speaking to people and feeling invisible suggests you might have some mental health struggles of your own.

This.

Well it does sound weird that he's there every time but I kind of think that it's weird also that you've not said hello

It's just a hello

And no one even says you have to do or say anything more than that.

So he maybe has MH problems, stands outside saying hello to anyone who passes and you think a cheery hello in response will result in you becoming "involved". Someone is weird in this situation and it's not him!

I suggest you never walk to your local Coop again

Just say hello. It's kind and he could be lonely.