To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

Maybe you should stop watching this stuff?

How does I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

I don't see the connection! Googling your ex- and finding those videos?

Just looked at this. Quote:

"However, this pattern of mothers appearing to show higher rates of abuse may be a methodological anomaly, since when accounting to the absence of fathers in the home, fathers are equally likely, or even more likely, to be the perpetrators of CPA (Nobes & Smith, 2000). In fact, Nobes and Smith demonstrated that children were less likely to live in homes with their fathers, and after controlling for father absence, children living with both parents were 50% more likely to receive physical abuse from their father (Nobes & Smith, 2000). Hence, the lower rate of CPA from fathers may reflect their absence from the home as opposed to an actual decreased risk for CPA perpetration."

(My emphasis.) Mothers appear, in surveys, to hit their children more because fathers are often absent from the children's lives. After adjusting for this, it transpires that 50% more fathers than mothers hit the children.

Certainly in my family home, the physical and emotional abuse all came from Dad. There were several of us, and he did it to Mum too. He also hit my nephews when they were little. I had one school friend whose mother abused her, lots whose fathers and stepfathers did. We know about the large number of relationships breaking down because of an abusive man: a high proportion of those men will abuse the children but, after separation, will see them only rarely or not at all.

There's a rapidly growing problem of teenage sons beating their mothers, too. It's been in the news lately.

Maybe you should read all the OP's posts?

@GarlicPint I have.

I think she's wrong and also she's spent her life attracting the wrong kind of men.

I've been round the block and thankfully all the men I've known have been decent blokes.

Now that's going too far!
But yes, I agree 😁

It’s so disappointing isn’t it. I tend very much to thinking all people are ok until I find otherwise but many times men are disappointing, even as an acquaintance and not a particular friend or boyfriend.
One male friend/sometimes date I had years ago was hugely responsible as a parent/in his job and treated people very well. He told me once that I really don’t want to know what goes on in men’s heads, as it’s really not nice - he seemed to struggle with the fact it went on his head too. I didn’t want to believe him (though he was always too honest for me!), or accept he could put it on all men, but I tend to more and more think he was probably right.
Apart from all the above type scenarios that I have seen/been on receiving end etc, I have actively witnessed 3 quite long term happily married men - in that both parties seem happy, and talk very well of partner etc - try it on with other women after a drink or so, which is more of a disappointment to me than the average single Pringle turning out to be a dick.
I still can’t quite believe most men are like this, or don’t want to believe it, but I see little to confirm they’re not.
I do still genuinely believe my parents/grandparents were very happily together and one other couple I know, but maybe that’s a generation thing too, less porn/availability to see others, or maybe I just wouldn’t know differently anyway.
I don’t know the answer, though age has stopped it happening to me in the main, which is a blessing amongst the downsides!

I’ve been feeling similar OP, I don’t know if it’s peri menopause or the internet affecting men’s minds but I am finding myself more and more disgusted in men.
I have brilliant relationships with male family members, my brothers in law etc so I know what respectful kind men look like.
However.
the dating scene is awful. Even my children’s father became this gropey grabby sex demanding sulking loser. I felt I couldn’t go to bed at night even though I was exhausted from working full time and raising the children. Then every relationship since has involved one of the following; sulking, pornified sex, being too pushy too soon, suggestive messages, cheating.
i do wonder what will become of those men once they’re no longer ‘attractive’ and the women willing to date them dries up.
I also HATE having to break up with them and explain we’re not well matched. The dread of knowing you’ll get a stroppy bewildered response.
I recently took a year off dating and got back into it with a nice seeming man I met through work. We had a great date, flowers etc lovely time and then when we kissed at the end of the night he got SO passionate SO fast, making ‘sexy’ noises and biting my lip, shoving his younger in my mouth and honestly I felt utterly dead inside.

I feel similar to some posters. I would be happy without having sex again. I’m finding my DH challenging most days I sometimes crave a single life. I never had a healthy relationship with a male my entire life from my family (dad and brother) to any in law relations, DH and work colleagues.

They’re men, disgusting filthy human beings. Not pigs!

I like a dirty joke or sexual innuendo as much as the next person but the difference is I know my audience and of course I’m not doing it to flirt. Some women friends I know will laugh and I laugh at their dirty jokes. I would never in a million years say it to someone I wasn’t 1000% sure would appreciate it. Men don’t seem to care or are opportunistic. Vile either way.

When I was first married, my DH and myself were feeling really horny one day and had a good session.
But afterwards he suddenly said "woah, I was so excited I nearly raped you then"

I was so shocked and upset, it put me right off him and sex for a while.
When I explained why, he genuinely was surprised. He didn't see anything wrong in saying that!!

Unbelievable!!!
I did get over it though and he's NEVER said anything like that again.
We've been happily married for 34 years now but I've never forgot that.

I mean, is this sort of thing on mens minds all the time, even the decent husbands and fathers?

I disagree. This post is reality about what is happening.

I am sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable, but just because it does not affect you, does not mean it does not affect millions of other women.

*tounge damn autocorrect.

what I mean to say my mentioning this pretty gross kiss is that this man, at 42 years old I just knew in my heart would be the same as the other losers.
If he hadn’t learnt by his age how to read a woman’s body language and adjust so she’s more comfortable, or to slow the fuck down, then he isn’t going to learn.
I know people will say I should have told him, but that’s not my job, I’m not trying to teach anyone how to behave respectfully.
Also I did say ‘I need to get home, early start etc’ as a sign the kissing was finished but there he was, in my space, leaning in and grabbing the back of my head. Just FUCK OFF 😂
sorry OP for the rants, just solidarity here 💪🏻

Jesus christ

Rubbish, of course it's not most men. You must know some awful men but thankfully I don't

I felt a bit sick reading this Petitchat.

A perfect example of how many men just do not have a clue.

Yeah, thought that odd 😂

And now I see this OP upset at men masturbating (not something I want to watch btw).

Not only is she watching, she is taking screenshots of them doing it.

Yuk!

You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with your ex. Perhaps you should get out more and find something else to focus on.

OP, I think you need to look at why you are hanging out or attracting these men? I have many male friends and none of them behave like this. Maybe it’s your choice in friends/partners that is the problem?

When you see the likes of Bonnie Blue and Lily Philips and the grubby little men queuing up for a go makes me feel nauseous as well. Urgh🤮🤮🤮 Pigs 😔

It boils down to utter selfishness. We kid ourselves otherwise, but that's what it is. Some are just more overt than others.
I think hormones shield us from this, then menopause comes along and the scales fall from our eyes.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.
Even though I have been fortunate never to encounter the kind of truly vile man the OP describes, this does resonate with me. Unfortunately it's simpler to give in, even when I don't want to, rather than put up with him sulking. And believe me, when he sulks it is NOT pretty.

Yep. But makes a change from benefit or pensioner bashing I suppose. 🙄

There are some awful men, and there are some awful women. But, most people, of either sex, aren’t like that.

There always has been awful people - it’s just that it appears on social media now.

To think most women are space wasters

Now imagine starting that thread.