To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

Lol.

Single middle-aged women with an axe to grind.

It would be laughable if it wasn't true.

Yes totally agree with all you say op
I'm with my DH for the family ,I'd never split it up ,but would I still be with him ,or any man if I wasn't trying to give my kids a family ..like fuck I would ..would I be with him ,if I'd never had kids ,like fuck I would .
I even took him back after an affair..for the family ..some of the things I've done against myself,to hold the family together makes me feel sick ..and I worry I will end up bitter and resentful and full of anger .
I absolutely hate living with a man ..I absolutely hate sharing a bed with one

I hear you. I dated a guy from work on and off for a couple of years (largely off). He is a massive porn user, and I reckon he just lives his life immersed in porn. All his moves are so porn linked! He isn’t a bad person, he has his kids 100% and does a lot for them, but he is definitely obsessed with porn. He could he one of those men on the websites you came across! Anyway i’ve ended it for good with him, good sex yes (but again, the porn moves gave me the ick). I’m just reverting back to celibacy for a year as i’m relocating soon and then I might start to try and find a good one. But probably won’t bother!

Some women (with low libido, on online dating sites looking for a man), find men (on dating sites) to be disgusting.

That's a small base and a particularly nasty social media application to extrapolate from.

I do find it curious that women more recently expect special treatment or dispensation for the hormone related times of their lives, but are reluctant to accept that men are driven by hormones as well.

The (possibly reasonable) argument that we should be able to override our hormones because we're not animals is legitimate, but not when applied to only one group of people.

Personally I find this kind of thread as depressing and bigoted as those of the 1960/70's about Blacks and Asians.

I've read enough on MN to see the disconnect in thinking about sex in marriage.

• Strand A is husbands feeling they have a right to sex (they don't) and women quite content not to have sex with their husband
• Strand B is husbands that have cheated and how vile they are.

And now I see this OP upset at men masturbating (not something I want to watch btw).

Perhaps men just want to be wanted sexually. Is that so bad?

I think OP was talking about mass, maturation.

It doesn't sound great.

OMG, a 'granny'.

It's a massive worry if you have young children particularly boys how to prevent them getting into it. I remember when my son was just 11 another child was showing other kids porn on his phone in the playground. So I started warning him from a young age it would affect his relationship & performance with women, brain pathways & all that. He's now an adult & has since thanked me knowing how many of his peers are addicted.

Quite honestly I'd like to have a partner but nearly all men disgust me. They are so selfish and sex obsessed.
I've been married three times and they all took the piss constantly. The violent husband, the liar and cheater and the stupid, selfish sex pest one.
It looks like I'll be spending my retirement alone. Im a member of a lot of groups and have many hobbies and all the men I meet are substandard, the women are lovely.

If you start googling filthy stuff that's what you will get and why are you googling your ex??I have a son who am raising to be a decent individual and I don't agree with you

I don’t hate men. I wouldn’t want to be one. I think their lives can feel much harder to them because they can’t get what they constantly crave.

Imagine feeling horny and frustrated and like a loser all the time. Seeking status. Competing. Needing a woman and wanting children and being incapable of managing it.
So I am sort of agreeing but think it’s not helpful to just hate them and try and avoid them. They are our people - our sons.

I am very interested in how human societies have evolved to manage men’s needs and feel very fortunate to live in a place and an age where I have rights and protections. The battle to keep those rights is constant though.

I have daughters and a son, (young adults) and my lovely daughters seem to have already given up on the idea of taking on a man. Son is a good man and has already been snapped up!

There are so few good ones. Less than there were when women didn’t have rights? Because men can’t cope with that?

Three things spring to mind.

Dr Omar Minwalla - The secret sexual basement.

Giselle Pelicot.

Rape Gangs in the U.K.

No it won’t be all men but after the Rape Gangs, where relatives were involved in such hideous crimes. How does a family or friend progress from saying cousin/brother/best friend/employer pass me the salt at dinner to lets gang rape a child tonight. So many men involved in so many areas of the U.K. Did some men decline to join in? Did they report it?

Pelicot - finding so many local men prepared to do that. Did other men find out? Did they report it?

Then reading Minwalla.

There are clearly men hiding their behaviour from their spouses.

The link to minwallas work.

uploads-ssl.webflow.com/61708b185d7d724acc2096da/61a5399eb4455c2a32f84d60_The_Secret_Sexual_Basement_Nov_2021.pdf

For those posters who don't agree with OP, I am of the opinion a fair few are men.

You might be a good guy, I don't deny that there are some.

But when your male friend, sibling, relative acts inappropriately towards a woman, do you call them out on it? Because if you are just turning a blind eye, then you too are part of the problem.

My experiences
Age 11 ..looking like I was 11 with pigtales and wearing school uniform on the bus home from primary school alone ...a man sits next to me , trapping me by the window and proceeded to get his penis out to wank..I was utterly terrified and missed my stop because I couldn't get past him.
Age 6 my mother moved us in with her new boyfriend,who they both thought it appropriate for him to walk around naked and put me to bed naked
Age 10 I had to walk the family dog and down a canel a man out jogging says hello as he joggs past ,at the last minute I noticed he has his penis out as he runs ..I ran in the opposite direction
Age 14 walking to school ,a man is wanking in a bush ..this time I report it to the school ,and I'm driven round in a police car to see we can spot him.
Each of these times I was a child ,looking like a child ..no makeup,no trying to make myself look older ..sick that a child is what clearly did it for these men
I've never worn makeup in my life ,never dressed sexily,..never wanted their attention

"No men allowed" apart from tradesmen any time something needed to be built or fixed. Lasted for a few years until she sold it to some bloke.

Why don't you try resurrect it, since you hate men so much?! 😂

Currently I'm avoiding a friends husband
He's worked out where I go on different days at different times ,and he turns up regularly,and comes and sits next to me ..day after day after day ,he's there ..in 4 different places ..I'm busy switching the days and times ..
At first I thought I was imagining it ,but then friends noticed, I was with at the time .
Definitely not a coincidence, because I can't get away from him ,without being rude ...so now I'm on alert all the time scanning for him..ugh
He even turned up at a hobby I do and was joining in ..
I did bump in to him with his wife in a supermarket and what a surprise he tried to ignore me and pretend he hadn't seen me,such a contrast to following me round the shop..
Any way ,I said to my friend.".hello ,I've not seen you in ages ..but everywhere I go I seem to see (his name ..her husband)..we constantly bump in to each other don't we .."
I've not seen him since, hopefully she got the message

I think you need counselling and possibly HRT.
I've never encountered men like the ones you describe. There's good and bad in both sexes. Maybe start a thread about controlling women to even things out.

YANBU!
Happy to be married (for 20 years) to a very decent man who never behaved like this.
They are very rare.
And my husband is three decades older (yes, almost thirty years).

Have reported this thread. It’s vile I am a woman if you’re interested

Well, it's not an 'article' in the newspaper sense but I'm not sure what you mean by 'a paper written by someone who believes' - sounds like Agent Mulder lol.

It's an undergraduate research paper published by the Grand Valley State University and it links all the sources, some of which are from the WHO. Generally, you can't just make up a load of cobblers for an academic paper.

That said, I didn't read it properly myself tbh because every single study I've read has said the same thing - it's always the mother. I've admittedly only read studies from the UK/US but I can't imagine it being much different in the rest of the world as generally most countries are even more patriarchal than us so it's even more likely that women will be the primary carers.

There was another thread where somebody linked gov data from the US broken down into mother/father/mother + stepdad/etc. Over five consecutive years it was the mother that committed the most abuse every time.

Absolutely not.

No way.

There is no world where the mother committed the abuse every time.

Are you a comedy psychiatrist?

If it's not one thing.

It's your mother.

Read everything you said with anger

But girl, just because someone is sexy or wears make up, doesnt mean that they want or deserve that attention

Sorry you've had to survive such shit men x

🙄🙄🙄

I’m in my twenties and most of my exs are in their thirties. I completely agree.

The most recent one (a 36 year old) was commenting and liking photos of onlyfans woman, random local woman who didn’t follow him back. The icing on the cake was he was commenting on one asking to meet up with an AI brass 😭 Think he was too stupid to realise it was AI.

I ended things as soon as I found out and told him exactly what I thought of him. Of course he tried to gaslight but I made it plain and simple I wouldn’t be with an embarrassing pervert.

I used to be the type who would try any keep my dignity and walk away quietly but now I tell exactly what I think of them.

The amount of happy couples I see and the men are commenting on other woman’s provocative photos. I had a handsome one add me recently who I presumed was a single dad. Liked all of my photos and it wasn’t until he got tagged in a story, he was on holiday with his wife and kids! Blocked him immediately 🤮

I’m at the point I can’t be bothered with them. Yes it’s lonely at times but not having that awful stomach gut feeling when you just know they’re hiding something is very refreshing.

I think my trust issues are beyond repair now. I always look for signs of them cheating and nearly always find something. Unfortunately I can’t see it improving.

Yes. I think most men are controlled by their sexual urges ultimately. And a lot of them don't admit their kinks and suppress them out of shame, which is yet another thing that leads to incel attitudes and male loneliness. They are just odd, creepy, angry, lonely things!

No. Not in my experience. The men in my
life are genuinely my favourite people and no-one has ever mistreated me as a person or sexually. I know there are such men out there that you speak of. But majority. I think not. I am friends still with most of my ex’s. I don’t see any of them anymore. We live far apart now. But we speak now and then and have had friendly relationships for many many years since I’ve been married for over 25 years now. I have no idea of the types of websites you’ve been looking at. But I expect if you go to a dodgy site. You’ll find a host of men like that. Just as if you went to OF it would be a majority of women. And I’m sure there are mixed sex sites etc. basically if you look for sexually explicit online material you’ll find those people there. But the population is far more massive than that. It may look huge amounts of people but comparatively it’s not. So I will not be agreeing with you. I do feel sorry for women, of which mumsnet has a lot, that dislike the men in their lives and have had bad experiences. Again. This is not a majority but will be skewed with population who likely are looking for an outlet to share their bad experiences.