To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

Sorry, I think I'm getting her mixed up with someone else!

Goodness! I am heartbroken with you having to deal with that

Tbf, there's a current thread in AIBU where a poster is talking about distancing her friend after finding out she's been cheating on her husband for years, even before they were married.

Fair few posters saying "oh, I wouldn't ditch a friend for that." I couldn't help but feel they wouldn't be so sympathetic to a male cheater.

There are a lot of posts on here from people who are going through a lot. My heart goes out to you all. I'm sending strength and courage to you. It's really upsetting to read. x

And use actual real women as mere objects in those fantasies

I do hope that the type of men we're talking about don't read your post. They already always think they're right and "normal".
Don't give them any more excuses

I don't think most people are apologising for men, but to call all men filthy losers is over the top, the same as assuming old men on dating sites are representative, it's clear the OP has some very bad experiences.

Also to all the women saying “none of the men I know are like this” with all disrespect, you cannot possibly know that.

Everytime there is a case in the news of a vile act done by a terrible man there will be friends, family members, neighbours, colleagues etc. quoted as saying how shocked they are, they never imagined he could that, he seemed so pleasant etc.

OP maybe generalising wildly (and incorrectly imo) but you’re being hopelessly naive if you think you would 100% always know if a man in your circle was not a nice bloke.

My abusive ex husband is one of those men that everyone else thought was wonderful. It has left me with scars, and it saddens me that many of the men I meet and think to be lovely, may be just like my ex husband behind closed doors.

I don't entirely agree. Predators are very good at spotting their targets through demeanour and other subtle clues. Some women are just more likely to be on the receiving end of this, which is why I think there's such a disparity between the experiences people are sharing.

I was shocked by the OP's description of what happened just within the past week though and can completely see why she has such a low opinion of men, but to deal with all that within a seven day period is wildly outside the norm. In each case there is a man behaving inappropriately (which is entirely on them), but also an established dynamic where OP is letting them say and do things many women would never have countenanced. But I would go so far as to say even the first small step towards that dynamic wouldn't be happening in many cases and that is to do with non-verbal cues and things of that nature.

Let's not forget also that the whole "fifty shades of gray" phenomenon, a sado-masochistic fantasy, was almost entirely created and driven by women.

Straw man argument.

To think most men are filthy losers

You are being SO unreasonable. Of course they’re not… yes there are lots of perverted, sex obsessed men and it is disgusting but there are loads of nice, respectful men too - obviously!

To think most men are filthy losers

You are being SO unreasonable. Of course they’re not… yes there are lots of perverted, sex obsessed men and it is disgusting but there are loads of nice, respectful men too - obviously!

If wanking off to women being abused counts as ‘depraved, abusive sex addict’ then sadly, yes. What would you call someone who regularly wanks over women being abused?

Misogyny is at an all time high right now so women have a right to have an opinion.

There are so many posters here misunderstanding what this thread is about.

All those saying "well I don't know any men like that, all the ones I know are great", are missing the point that this is about what goes on inside men's heads and in the privacy of their bathrooms. Even if they are 'perfect gentlemen' to everyone who knows them, all men have a sex drive that is very, very different to women's. This is basic biology.
If you don't think this is true, you are in denial.

And unfortunately many, many men don't confine their sex drives to their own bathrooms. They make grossly inappropriate comments, or 'try it on' far too soon in the early stages of dating, which is what women are complaining about.

All those coming up with whataboutery - that men fight wars, and do dangerous jobs, and women are just as bad in their nagging and controlling. They are missing the point that this thread is specifically about men's sexuality. This is very apparent from the OP's original post (although the title was unfortunate).

What many men don't realise is that women are just turned off and disgusted by their sexual behaviour. (Or for some, they do realise, and that is the thrill).

Facebook itself started out as a site to rank the hotness of Harvard female undergrads.

I've said this on here many times and I'll say it again. I used to work in the adult entertainment world (not me doing anything fyi) and You. would. not. believe. all the happily married, older, loving grandpa types who just want to fuck an 18 year old. You would never, ever guess. Trust me. Or not. But don't be so naive! If they are not doing it out in the open, it's going on behind closed doors.

It’s crazy, isn’t it? Putting aside those really awful sites like the punting one, I see the hatred for women on Reddit, Twitter, on the most benign posts on Facebook (basically any opportunity to air their hatred for women) even bloody discount websites like HotUKDeals. It’s everywhere.

Women vent back and men lose their minds. And God knows it’s not even slightly in the realms of how men talk about women.

I think it’s less sympathy for cheating and more about people not thinking it’s worth ending a friendship over. I don’t think people would have a different stance for male friends. I know I wouldn’t (and didn’t).

Exactly.

And men only fight wars because other men start them.

This truly is nonsense.