Do you find your DH attractive?

[Thenamesmom]

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

Yes, my DH is objectively pretty good looking (maybe a 7.5/10) and I find him attractive for personality stuff which enhances his looks to me (eg his smile makes me smile).

We had a funny situation recently - I've got a new ish (last few years) male friend who was a colleague and then we started going out after work sometimes as we both really like football and neither of our spouses do. This guy is a 10/10, absolutely stunning. I introduced my DH to him and later we joked about how he's fake looking. I've met his wife but my DH hadn't. We went round theirs last weekend for dinner and I told DH before we went in, brace yourself she's even better than him, he laughed and said something corny like "no-one compares to you". Anyway she answers the door looking like a taller Scarlett Johansen, greets us goes to fetch drinks and I look at my DH, he's basically got his mouth open in shock lol. Maybe someone does compare to me ha!!

Anyway it's all good fun and nice to look at good looking people as long as you still fancy each other a bit too.

We’re in our late 50’s now and although he’s fairly attractive, that’s not what does it for me now. I find his intelligence and charisma attractive.. when he talks the room falls silent and listens.. and I find his kindness attractive too. That’s enough for me!

Yes, but he’s 27 and so am I so it’s not that hard to be good looking in your 20s. HOWEVER I think he will age well because his dad is good looking. Strategic I know..

Ok 40+ years ago when we first met DH was fit as f*ck - played rugby, did triathlons, ran several miles every morning. He was good looking &, as I say, pretty 'ripped'. 😍

Looking at pictures of me at the time, I didn't realise it at the time, but I was very attractive, also very fit, ran several miles every day, danced & did lots of activities but competitive sport wasn't my thing.

Right - so now 3 children have taken a toll on my body. I'm a good 2 stone heavier than I used to be, my stomach looks like I'm 3 months pregnant, I have really bad stretch marks & my boobs tend to drop when I take my bra off. I've also developed Rosacea which takes the form of an acne type effect with redness & spots.

DH is lucky that he still has lots of hair (he's my silver fox) his 6 pack has turned into more of a Watney's 7 (remember them?) & we both have problems with arthritic knees, hips etc & have scars from surgery to deal with this.

We've both have lost teeth over the years so we have fewer than we used to & both have 'plates' to make up for the loses. Though DH jokes makes oral sex less dangerous. 😂

I love the bones of him & dread losing him (he's 9 years older than me so realistically it's a possibility). I don't see the podgy belly, the wrinkles etc. He tells me everyday that I'm his 'gorgeous girl' & how much he loves & fancies me. We still talk for hours, listen to music, share TV programmes & prefer to spend time with each other than anyone else.

BTW the sex is pretty brilliant as well, even if it's not as frequent as it was when we were in our 20's, 30's & 40's. 😏

Yes my husband is attractive and yes at some point I want to rip his clothes off.

we have been together 10 years married for nearly 2.

I don’t look at other men and think “I want to rip their clothes off”….. I do look, and on occasion if someone catches my eye, I think “ooo he’s nice looking”, but that’s it. I have eyes for my husband only 😈

On a daily basis his looks please me … but if l see him on the road walking towards me , or across the room at a party , or in a suit , or when he’s playing with the kids ( and lots more times ) l think he’s so sexy !

21 years here and still finding my DH very attractive. A lot has changed for both of us in that time. Our bodies aren't what they used to be. Mine due to terminal illness and becoming disabled a few years ago. Him, due to putting on weight due to medication and having to give up a very physical job to become my full time carer, but all that aside, I actually think he has got more attractive with age. Me, definitely not, I was never good looking and much uglier now. Honestly never understood what he saw or does see in me

Yes I still fancy my OH. He’s put on the pounds, as have I, and we are both going a bit grey but he’s still handsome.
My sex drive is going through a dry patch because of perimenopause but I’m still attracted to him.
Only you can know if it’s a deal breaker for your relationship that you don’t fancy him.

My husband is the most attractive person I’ve ever met in real life. A genuine 11/10 to me but also I would say he is very conventionally attractive by most people’s standards.
We’ve been together over 12 years and although we’ve both aged, changed body shape etc I still see him the same way I did when we were 26. Passion etc has waxed and waned over recent years with kids but I still have never met anyone I’m more attracted to.
Saying that, I know lots of successful relationships where the couple aren’t necessarily crazily physically attracted to each other (some have even admitted this to me) but they are still in very love.

I was never really attracted to my ex. I liked him as a person, and thought he'd make a good dad. And he was a good dad. Not so great as a husband, but I wasn't very demanding about anything. (and maybe I wasn't that great a wife?? idk) And things were ok (sort of) for almost 30 years. But then, they weren't. And things quickly unraveled. If he had been a different sort of person, we'd probably still be married, in a more platonic sort of relationship. I don't think everyone finds that person they are wildly attracted to in the first place, much less remaining wildly attracted for the duration.

I've been in a relationship with my DP for 19 years, I still find him attractive and would still want to date him now. He hasn't physically changed much though, still slim and a young-ish body it's just his face and hair that shows age

Of course - we've been together 24 years so we have both changed as we aged and added kids into the mix, but I find more things attractive about him now than when we first met, and it really was a case of lust at first sight when we met! I don't necessarily have butterflies when I see him anymore, but there's still plenty of chemistry and sparks. I often think he is very handsome, and notice his most attractive qualities in action. Happily it's mutual, he makes it very clear he's still attracted to me.

No but it’s nothing to do with him physically it’s his personality. He’s selfish, domineering, rude, dogmatic, miserly and controlling. I

Yes, very much so. 25 years married and I still find my DH very attractive. He has always had a good head of hair and over the years with it turning grey he is my silver fox. He has put a little bit of weight around his tummy but he still looks good in his late fifties.

Yes I'm very attracted to my DH physically (together 20 years). I think he's aging very well. Though I find it hard to want him sometimes when he's being annoying.

Totally with you GF - mine will be 71 next month & I still fancy the pants off him wouldn't look at another man.

Well if Brad Pitt knocked on my door I'm not so sure .....😂

Not any more, which is why we’re separating…I don’t want to live a life of no sex.

After 25+ years do I find him attractive, all day, everyday? Ha! Definitely not! I know him too well, my hormones make me occasionally want to kill him, as does, occasionally, his behaviour. But, that is marriage. At the end of the day I do still find him attractive, he’s still my favourite person in the world and the only person I want to get naked with.

I find my husband more attractive now, 14 years, 5st more, less head hair and more body hair on, than I did whether we met.

his all round amazingness over the years makes me want to jump his bones on a very regular basis.

27 years together and I think my DH is (mostly) still very attractive and we remain deeply in love.

He was smoking hot when we met - surfer beach bod, slim, tanned, the works.

Sure it has faded a bit, but then I'm no longer a size 6 with 32dd pert boobs!

In our 50s

Been married to my Dutch husband for 47 years and when we first met he wasn't my usual type physically being tall, skinny with a beard and glasses but we got on like a house on fire immediately and my two girls, 9 and 6, got to like him very quickly and he was great with them although never having children of his own.
We married in less than a year, lived in Amsterdam for a while, came back to the UK and started a business and have had a really good life working together, buying a couple of houses, bringing up the children, grandchildren and now great-grandchildren!
Sadly though the physical side of things was never great, it tended to be the 'elephant in the room' at times and the only 'spoiler' to an otherwise brilliant relationship...I felt bad when rebuffing his advances and for the life of me I just wish I could go back and have a re-run as when I look at the many photos we have taken over the years it stops me in my tracks when I see what an absolutely GORGEOUS man he became as he got older and I just want to reach into the photos and grab him and well, say no more! 🙄
It's actually very upsetting, WHY didn't I see this and feel like this at the time?! I think my lack of interest in him physically when we were younger has had a big effect on how he is towards me now as he is not as loving, warm and kind as I would wish for and I know sex isn't everything but I think I may have hurt him more than I thought?. 🤔😥

I would say that attraction like physical attraction will fade with both of you.. but deep love is friendship companionship working through life's trials knowing you can depend on each other.
In the beginning there must be something that attracts us to each other but that's only surface level .
I'm single now so I might be talking complete crap but there has to be substance to something which is deeper than physical attraction.

That's totally normal! We always point out other men/women that we think are attractive.

Depends…which week of my cycle are we talking about?
If it’s ovulation week, he stands no chance while wandering around in his work / handyman trousers.
If it’s the week after then his breathing alone makes me want to murder him.