Do you find your DH attractive?

[Thenamesmom]

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

You may have laughed about it but consider your DH in all this. What if he told you he found X hot and fancied her. Personally I feel you do more harm to the other person with these “in feel guilty so I’m going to you” comments than you realise

Lots of people suddenly married to silver foxes with abs!

I’ve been with DH for 38 and he is still gorgeous. He makes my heart flip (especially when he’s dressed for the office in three piece suit and tie). If anything he’s simply improved with age.

Yes. I first met him when I was 21 and he was 32 and all of a sudden he is 68 this month! We didn't get together though til I was 30 odd. But we've been married 20 years. He still has the same twinkle in his eye and we laugh together all the the time. We've had our moments, and he's not Antonio Banderas but still...

Yes, I do. Not in the same way I did when we were in our twenties but yes, I still look at him and imagine all the things.
And he told recently I'm still the hot girl he fell in love with. (I am totally not)

Nope. Because he's an emotionally abusive alcoholic.......which apparently I did to him because I refuse to have sex with a manic depressive who refuses to get help and smells like a brewery.

All my fault though because I refuse to pander to his selfish, self involved pathetic excuses.

He's gorgeous.
He's got twinkly eyes. He's a really smiley person and his eyes crinkle when he smiles. He's got an air of kindness that his face just - radiates, for want of a better word.

Absolutely do!

It depends on the day, what he's wearing,how he's behaving,my mood, our stress levels etc... I used to fancy him a lot for the first two years. Sometimes, I'm so turned off by him I wonder how we got together and sometimes I remember why.

He's almost 50 but still has his black hair. As slim as ever. He's got moobs and is very pale skinned though.

I'm far from being picture perfect myself. I see men in places I go to (shops, kids clubs,schools etc...) ,and I'm really feeling the attraction but I can't imagine living with them.

Not an exact science, is it?

Your probably asking the wrong question here “do you find your partner attractive” most people will say yes - or they wouldn’t still be with them! From reading this thread, it’s likely because their partner is still making an effort to work out and look good etc.

it’s perfectly normal after years and years to not feel attracted to your partner. Especially after kids and poor health/ poor lifestyle choices. Those who are saying yes they are still attracted have clearly worked at their relationship / health/ wellbeing.

everyone will look at random people and be attracted to them. Doesn’t mean you compare them to your partner. We can’t all be married to Brad Pitt!

I think you need to have this discussion (kindly) with your partner. Suggest working out/ going for walks, maybe some kind of hair system. It’s new year coming up, so you could open up the convo like that maybe “what do we want to work on for the new year” as I’m sure he will have suggestions on what he would like you to look / act like too

My DH is very attractive, and also an amazing husband who does more than his fair share around the house, has great personal hygiene, works hard, shares everything, and makes me laugh.

I used to believe that looks didn’t matter, but they do. I think it’s a lie to help ugly men get dates.

100% I do! Together 13 years, and I am more attracted to him now than I ever have been. He has a typical dad bod, but I absolutely love it. He is approaching 40 and I'm loving his salt and pepper hair and beard. I've gained and lost 6 stone and then gained another 3, and an ugly c section overhang. Every single day he makes me feel desired!

@Thenamesmom Yes but not if he's eating food I hate or we've fallen out over something but I find the way to rekindle that feeling of attraction is spontaneity (e.g., something weird happening when you both can't believe what you're seeing or hearing and you look at each other able to know what your DH is thinking.) Sharing a few jokes and watching the smiles and laughter from my DH bring instant attraction as does watching him entertain our kids. Those moments remind me of how lucky I am.

Fanny Gallops! lol 😂

I think that’s pretty sad
I mean how do you have kids with someone you don’t find attractive 😂your giving them half of his genes 😂

how do you sleep, spend time just sitting with them together if you never found them attractive to start with

If I didn’t find my husband attractive his little annoying traits would drive me nuts
fucking him makes up for him being annoying now and then

I fancied him physically when I met him
& still fancy him now and we have a good sex life

he is fit ( very fit ) always been into fitness
he actually looks better now as he was going bald so he shave it off completely and grew a beard / stubble and it looks really sexy on him but he shaves it every day to keep it looking nice 😂

he dresses well ( well I pick most of his clothes ) but he can wear pretty much anything and look good in it

My DH is the most attractive man in the world to me! Objectively, I know that isn't the case. But my god, he gets my knickers wetter than Niagra Falls. It isn't just how he looks (although when he gives me 'that' look... all bets are off!) but how he makes me feel. Absolutely everything about him is what makes him attractive. We are 8 years in, no spring chickens, and if anything the lust, attraction and love is still growing exponentially.
I'm pretty sure he feels the same about me. I'm very fucking lucky is all I can say. I had a shocking teens, 20's and early 30's. So I am no stranger to a diasterous love life. This is the real deal for me. He's the only one who can capture my attention.

Yes, absolutely.

Goodness I feel a bit sad/ envious reading all ones where it’s all still amazing!!

my hb is very attractive as an older man ( now 60) and looks much younger ( always had an athletic body) although does have a bit of a beer belly now and eats and drinks all the wrong things! I do find him attractive. I’m also younger than him and quite fit and take care of myself.

I would love a more physical relationship with him as we used to as we were passionate about each other when we met and in love for a long time. The last 5 of our 22 years however has brought up so many challenges and the resentments have built up. So even a cuddle is a bit rare at the moment.

I feel really sad as he doesn’t meet my needs on an emotional level. Whilst very practical and great with very challenging teens I’ve struggled to feel safe and close with him as he can be quite unkind. :( I am not sure if we have a long term future although I’d love it to be different.

Im hoping it’s a phase and we can rediscover it all. I’m so exhausted though. The sadness affects me daily.

My dh is currently sat opposite me in his dressing gown with a zimmer frame next to him (48 and just had major surgery so needs must), by fuck is that not attractive.

He's never been good looking, was always chubby round the waist until this disease took over, he has a dodgy hooked nose no doubt from being an arse hole when younger, and he's receding/getting a bald spot but I've always been attracted to him.

We've grown together over the years, and I suppose become closer intimately in a different way.

one thing that guarantees my fanny gallops is if he has to reverse the car and he puts his arm on the other seat to help him reverse 😂dunno why - but that always makes me think I’m going to fuck you tonight mate 😂

But I wonder if all those women who say they don’t / never did find there husbands attractive how would they feel if he said the same

that I don’t fancy my wife - she’s a good mother and wife but physically I don’t fancy her anymore and never really did fancy her physically

that she’s got fat and wrinkly or can’t stand that c - section tummy or I hate having sex with her so I tell her I’m tired / stressed

It's been 30 years. I do when I look at him but he'll do something or say something which annoys me and then I won't 😂
When we go on holiday and we're away from day to day life I am definitely still attracted to him.

Keep your eyes shut? 😂

Lie back think of England - maybe with a GB flag covering his face 😂

Hell, yes!

Together almost 20 years and I am still very attracted to him. I think he is gorgeous and the attraction has never faded. I still get occasional butterflies when I see him walking down the road etc.

He is handsome with a good body and I think those grey hairs in his hair and beard are really sexy, but it's love isn't it? I just love him.

Where's the laughing reaction when you need it? 😂