Do you find your DH attractive?

[Thenamesmom]

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

Absolutely. He still gives me butterflies and I am very attracted to him. We have been together almost 25 years and he doesn't look the same as when I met him (he was 20) but he's certainly ages very well.

Attractive yes, but not passionate you’re so gorgeous I want to rip your clothes off type thing, no. I don’t think I have the energy to feel that level of attraction for anyone these days though!

What "effort" do you want him to make? He can't regrow his hair or make himself taller.

Yes because he’s very smart, calm and talks me down as I’m quite highly strung. He manages my expectations of life. He’s my best friend. All of that is very attractive

Mine (finally, I'd been trying for ages) discovered the wonders of working out in his 60s. We also lost weight together. He's now hot AF.

Yes although objectively I can see that he is not traditionally handsome. He is warm and smells nice and I like touching him. I don't stare at him and think "I want to rip your clothes off" but if we are close and cuddling that is definitely where my mind goes.

I've met much more good looking men but I don't want to rip their clothes off and I have no interest in getting close enough to them to see if cuddling them does it for me too!

10 years on and as handsome as the day we met.

We've been together nearly 30 years and I find him very attractive. I found him attractive when he was 4 stone heavier, when he had an accident that paralysed his face, when he was a skinny teen and now he is a grey haired, tattooed nearly 50 year old.

He tells me he feels the same and after 3 csections and 5 stone weight gain he still makes me feel as desired as he did when we first met and I still get butterflies when he walks into a room. I doubt anyone else would find either of us particularly attractive.

If I was to look at it subjectively I think it's because I am just so in love with who he is as a person that I don't think there is much he could do looks wise to put me off him, it would have to be a change in his personality.

My DH got increasingly into exercise later in life and now in his early 50s has the best body (slim but toned) he has had in the 30 years we have been together. So yes, I find him attractive - BUT I find him less attractive when he rushes off to his early morning spin class without putting his porridge bowl in the dishwasher or isn’t home to prep dinner because he’s fitting in a HIIT class after work. 😂

i did find my husband attractive. he now has a huge beard, Im not a fan never will be,it hides his lovely face. but I wouldn't tell him i don't like it as I have various hair styles he doesn't like.

Yes very much so, together 21 years and still find him very attractive.

Been married 35 years, still find him attractive.

20+ years and he's still beautiful to me. I love him so much 😍

After 24 years…yes, I still fancy the pants off of DH. Yes, he has less hair, and no, he doesn’t look like a Love Island contestant, but he has a personal trainer and does lots of running.

Yes. Together since we were 19. Now in our 40’s. He’s currently making a real effort to go to the gym to stop middle age spread.

Tbh I look at him and wish my libido hadn’t gone downhill so much.

Dear OP you clearly love your husband and I think this is a really good opportunity to actually have a frank conversation with him about this. I think it is so important personally that you stay attractive for each other, you could gently ask him to maybe do some sports with you if this is possible, or maybe for him to take up an old sporty hobby, if time allows?
I have been with my DH for not quite 14 years and I think he is wonderful and has somehow gotten better looking as the years went on despite going quite grey and loosing hair now... we do try and be healthy together though and I do gently let him know if I think his diet is slipping (thats more for health reasons than looks though!)

god yes ! He gets better as the years go by

I don't find my partner attractive, no. He's a smoker, doesn't exercise and frequently doesn't shower and sleeps in his 'day' clothes 😣
I did find him attractive when we first went out together, he used to make an effort and smelt lovely. It's so sad when one partner stops doing this. It makes me quite resentful unfortunately so there is no longer any physical affection.

God yes. I have been with my DH 22 years, married for 20 and I still think he is a sexy MF. I always have.

Despite the fact I am more chunky and menopausal he still can't keep his hands off me either (but that might have something to do with the fact that my menopausal boobs are like melons!) which I feel really grateful for.

I really don't understand how anyone stays attracted to one person for more than 2 or 3 years, must be something faulty in me.

I feel so sorry for you!
I know I am married to the most attractive man in the world, ever. Nothing could ever put me off jumping his bones. I find his “dad bod” sexy, his beard just amazing and when he shaves everything, he looks about 10 years younger and I still want to jump him every time I look at him.
I know most people would not say he’s very sexy at all, but he is TO ME!
Honestly, you can keep your Ryan Reynolds and Brad Pitts, my hubby does it for me every time!

I have a DW and to me she is the hottest woman alive.
On paper she is pretty overweight and doesn't have a conventionally attractive body shape. But we have crazy sexual chemistry and I find her utterly gorgeous.

Yes, I find myself catching him at times and thinking what good bone structure he has. Possibly he's actually go better with age

Been together 13 years married for 9, he is aging pretty well

We have been together 30 years and I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him. We have always had great chemistry and he does take very good care of himself. He is fit and toned but the little bit of weight he carries as he has aged looks better on him - he was a bit too thin when we were younger. Are there more attractive men out there? Yes, but his face is the only one I want to see. There is no man who could replace him, for so many reasons.