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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bed situation. Weekend away.

272 replies

Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 19:55

I'm going away for the weekend for my sister's big birthday, Fri-Sun.

Background is that I really don't want to go - I'm not a fan of 'enforced fun', drinking all weekend & 'girly' pursuits (as they call it) - hot-tub, nail salon, games, themes etc- but I felt I needed to go or there would be raised brows & bad feeling. I already do not go to the annual weekend away with my sisters & female cousins due to these very reasons, & didn't attend niece's abroad hen (went to home hen)- I plainly cite that it's 'Not my thing, but hope you have a lovely time & send lots of photos'. I did go to the cousin's one last autumn as it was in the UK, but didn't really enjoy it & was thankful I could wild swim/ go walks to have a bit of chill time.

Anyway, back to this weekend. It's both my sisters & sister-in-law, & each have a daughter (my nieces- ranging in age 19-30), so 7 in total including me (I have 3 sons so none of them attending). I've just found out there's only 6 beds!!! No mention of this beforehand. WhatsApp chat has mentioned we need to toss a coin for the sofa!

I'm just not doing it. Although i love them all dearly, I already don't fancy going & don't want to sleep badly all ruddy weekend. We've all paid the same- not a little amount. DN (30) has a fractured foot, so she can't go on the sofa.

YABU - take your turn on the sofa, suck it up.

YANBU- message the chat in some way. If so, what do i write?

OP posts:
edwinbear · 26/08/2025 20:00

That sounds like a tedious weekend if you’re not into those sorts of activities. The bed situation would be a deal breaker for me too - does the owner know there are 7 of you coming though - will 7 be allowed?

Ponderingwindow · 26/08/2025 20:02

What you message them depends on what you are willing to do to protect your sanity and your spine. Will you skip the trip? Will you head to a local hotel?

Original poster
Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:04

edwinbear · 26/08/2025 20:00

That sounds like a tedious weekend if you’re not into those sorts of activities. The bed situation would be a deal breaker for me too - does the owner know there are 7 of you coming though - will 7 be allowed?

I have no idea! Knowing.my sister, no!🙈

OP posts:
MrsVinceVega · 26/08/2025 20:04

Yeah sod that.

Is there a hotel nearby?

m00rfarm · 26/08/2025 20:06

Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:04

I have no idea! Knowing.my sister, no!🙈

Show quote history

If there is a sofabed then presumably it is there to be used as a bed, so the property is licenced for that number of people. In any case, i would just say that you don't want to go as you don't want to sleep on the sofabed - (and don't want to take the risk of having to sleep on it) so with your non attendance, now no one needs to suffer.

Original poster
Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:07

Ponderingwindow · 26/08/2025 20:02

What you message them depends on what you are willing to do to protect your sanity and your spine. Will you skip the trip? Will you head to a local hotel?

I categorically cannot skip the trip, or go to a hotel- I'd be enemy number 1 & it's just not worth it. I need to grit my teeth & do the bits I don't mind & slope off to bed when the drinking & stupid behaviour get too much for me, which means NOT having to stay up to sleep on the sofa!

OP posts:
Account734 · 26/08/2025 20:07

My view is that the person who booked the accommodation that doesn't have enough beds sleeps on the sofa. It was their choice, so they can suffer the poor sleep.

Happytohelp2 · 26/08/2025 20:08

Claim a bad back or other ailment that would prevent you being the one on the sofa bed? I don’t see why a fractured foot would put DN out of the draw…

Vinvertebrate · 26/08/2025 20:09

I understand that you can’t skip the trip, but surely you could present the hotel as a positive ie “I’ve got a sore neck, so I can’t sleep on a sofa, but insisting on one of the beds is not fair on the rest of you so I’ll just book a hotel nearby instead”.

ScaryM0nster · 26/08/2025 20:09

You could message the chat and ask if anyone has an airbed?

And suggest using that rather than the sofa so that the person with no bed each night isn’t tied to being the last one up.

Blueuggboots · 26/08/2025 20:10

Yeah I wouldn’t go either….

Original poster
Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:11

m00rfarm · 26/08/2025 20:06

If there is a sofabed then presumably it is there to be used as a bed, so the property is licenced for that number of people. In any case, i would just say that you don't want to go as you don't want to sleep on the sofabed - (and don't want to take the risk of having to sleep on it) so with your non attendance, now no one needs to suffer.

Edited
Show quote history

I wish I could, but seriously it's not worth it.

I've offered to cook Friday night since I'm not drinking (I've never been a drinker, that's very much accepted) so can probably feign being shattered early ish. I find the 1st night is usually the worst for silly behaviour when drunk as they all hit it hard on the 'bubbles'. All professional women/ uni students, but SO tedious in the latter stages of drinking as everything seems to be hilarious/ some get maudlin or nippy with each other. God.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 26/08/2025 20:12

I wouldn't go.

parietal · 26/08/2025 20:13

How many bedrooms? Is there anyone you’d be prepared to share a room with? Or a little box room you could have for yourself?

Legopotamus · 26/08/2025 20:13

Can you kill 2 birds with 1 stone and say as its not really your thing, you'd like to be able to slink off to bed early and that won't be possible if you're on the sofe?

Original poster
Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:14

ScaryM0nster · 26/08/2025 20:09

You could message the chat and ask if anyone has an airbed?

And suggest using that rather than the sofa so that the person with no bed each night isn’t tied to being the last one up.

That's just been suggested; so that's something. I think I'll be seen as the natural one to offer o take that, though,as we have a camper van & they see that as 'roughing it' a bit, & I'm the one who's less 'high maintenance', I suppose, but our bed is super comfortable in the van.

OP posts:
Original poster
Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:15

parietal · 26/08/2025 20:13

How many bedrooms? Is there anyone you’d be prepared to share a room with? Or a little box room you could have for yourself?

3 bedrooms. Don't mind sharing with anyone at all.

OP posts:
mumofbun · 26/08/2025 20:15

m00rfarm · 26/08/2025 20:06

If there is a sofabed then presumably it is there to be used as a bed, so the property is licenced for that number of people. In any case, i would just say that you don't want to go as you don't want to sleep on the sofabed - (and don't want to take the risk of having to sleep on it) so with your non attendance, now no one needs to suffer.

Edited
Show quote history

As I understood it, there isn't a sofa bed, just someone has to sleep on a sofa.

OP can you mention the fact you don't usually stay up drinking as a reason for needing a bed?

Teajenny7 · 26/08/2025 20:16

If it is in the UK can you drive there in your campervan? Have a comfy bed and peace!

Original poster
Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:16

Legopotamus · 26/08/2025 20:13

Can you kill 2 birds with 1 stone and say as its not really your thing, you'd like to be able to slink off to bed early and that won't be possible if you're on the sofe?

This might be my only method of deception I think. That or actually falling asleep (quite likely after working all day!).

OP posts:
Original poster
Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:17

mumofbun · 26/08/2025 20:15

As I understood it, there isn't a sofa bed, just someone has to sleep on a sofa.

OP can you mention the fact you don't usually stay up drinking as a reason for needing a bed?

Show quote history

Possibly o

OP posts:
Catsandcannedbeans · 26/08/2025 20:18

I thought it was a universal rule the youngest gets the sofa? That’s what we do. I had always fallen fowl to it, but it makes sense I guess.

Catsandcannedbeans · 26/08/2025 20:18

Double post

Original poster
Puffalicious · 26/08/2025 20:18

Teajenny7 · 26/08/2025 20:16

If it is in the UK can you drive there in your campervan? Have a comfy bed and peace!

It's only an hour & a bit away. I never actually thought about the camper, but DH may take it Sunday away for a day trip with DS3. I'll ask him.

OP posts:
Caterina99 · 26/08/2025 20:18

Actual sofa or sofa bed? I think that makes a difference. I’d personally rather sleep on the sofa than share a double bed with someone other than DH (even DH to be honest as we have a super king)

surely the 19yo goes on the sofa and the older generation at least get an actual bed. Or is that the one with the broken foot? At 19 I could go out clubbing and then literally sleep for 3 hours on a rock solid floor with a thin sleeping bag and a sofa cushion for a pillow. And get up and go to work or uni the next day. At 40 that would destroy me!

Good call if they know you’re not really into drinking that you want to be able to go to bed. I’d just say now can I have a bed please, I’ve got a bad back and you all know I need my sleep

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