Bed situation. Weekend away.

[Puffalicious]

I'm going away for the weekend for my sister's big birthday, Fri-Sun.

Background is that I really don't want to go - I'm not a fan of 'enforced fun', drinking all weekend & 'girly' pursuits (as they call it) - hot-tub, nail salon, games, themes etc- but I felt I needed to go or there would be raised brows & bad feeling. I already do not go to the annual weekend away with my sisters & female cousins due to these very reasons, & didn't attend niece's abroad hen (went to home hen)- I plainly cite that it's 'Not my thing, but hope you have a lovely time & send lots of photos'. I did go to the cousin's one last autumn as it was in the UK, but didn't really enjoy it & was thankful I could wild swim/ go walks to have a bit of chill time.

Anyway, back to this weekend. It's both my sisters & sister-in-law, & each have a daughter (my nieces- ranging in age 19-30), so 7 in total including me (I have 3 sons so none of them attending). I've just found out there's only 6 beds!!! No mention of this beforehand. WhatsApp chat has mentioned we need to toss a coin for the sofa!

I'm just not doing it. Although i love them all dearly, I already don't fancy going & don't want to sleep badly all ruddy weekend. We've all paid the same- not a little amount. DN (30) has a fractured foot, so she can't go on the sofa.

YABU - take your turn on the sofa, suck it up.

YANBU- message the chat in some way. If so, what do i write?

what actually can they do?

Personally I would go back and say that the insurance will be invalidated if 7 go and if something happens you can’t live with knowing insurance was deliberately invalidated by the group and something happens so you will opt out

up to you if you say keep the money or can I have my money back

Why on earth would you go to something like this if you won't enjoy it?
And why would anyone else want you there if you won't enjoy it?
Your family is dysfunctional.

All on you then if you allow yourself to be bullied by your sisters. You do know that they expect you to have the sofa don't you?
Why on earth did you agree to go in the first place.
I'm baffled how people allow themselves to be pushed around like this.

I could perhaps swing this! I could leave at 9am & be home for 10:30am for him to go out for the day.

Was looking forward to a lie-in (DS2 needs taking to his weekend job on a Sun morning as public transport is shaky, so I'm always up early) but o think sacrificing this might be worth it in spades.

I'm going to suggest this. ❤️

I think throw in a mention of having a bad back too. Tell them you know your camper bed and you know you'll be comfortable on it.

Yes, air mattresses can be good now. We have a very good kingsize one, not very expensive from Amazon.

To be fair though she won't be able to go in the hot tub and she needs to keep it elevated as much as possible she can't do that if every seat on the sofa is taken.

I’d hate it. I’d just say it’s not my thing so I’m not going.

It's not great that the cost is split 7 ways when (without the camper van solution) someone would've been bed-less but paying the same as those that are all snuggled up!

Honestly, this place is hilarious. Dysfunctional,! 🤣. We all love each other & get on well. We're all very aware I'm not the same as them- I've always been very much my own person, more independent, bit of a thinker, somewhat arty, & that's okay.

I'm going because it's my sister's birthday. We all do things for others sometimes. Sheesht.

Bullied? Pushed around? Absolutely not- I'm pretty outspoken & known for having big opinions.

SUL is bringing a mattress.

youngest (and the one who probably didn't pay for themselves), gets the sofa

"I categorically cannot skip the trip, or go to a hotel- I'd be enemy number 1 & it's just not worth it.'
yeah it really sounds like people you love and want to do things for.....

I know, but probably the best solution. I can still use all the facilities.

Well they are. I just know what they'd say privately & I don't want the focus on me when it's my sister's big birthday.

I'm exactly the same - hate girly stuff and avoid as much as possible. I certainly wouldn't go if I was expected to sleep on a sofa.

Don't mention the "leaving early" bit when announcing the "bringing the camper" bit.

People are more likely to put the kibosh on it.

Actually, if it's only an hour away, I'd drive home late on the Saturday night. Just say on the last afternoon, "oh, DH needs the camper back earlier, it makes sense for me to shoot back tonight after the last round of never have I ever".

Don't advertise it earlier, it will put a damper on things even if it makes no practical difference.

I drove back from a festival after the last act on a Saturday and it was lovely to wake up in my own bed on the Sunday.

Can't you just share a bed? I went in holiday with my friend and we just share a king-size as does my daughter and her mate. I don't really see the issue. (Apart from the fact you don't want to go!) I don't understand the bed issue.

This happened to me many years ago. Girls weekend all paid same, got there to be told was on put up in living room sharing with girl I hardly knew...!! Had all paid same was furious we weren't warned beforehand. Never got any sleep for two nights, couldn't share comfortably with comparative stranger plus in thoroughfare of everyone trailing through drunk, worse or to loo all bloody night! Just explain you expected an actual bed of your own!

I will very unfortunately do my back in quite severely a few days beforehand -- sooo annoying but am in loads of pain, can't sleep anywhere else than in my own bed.
Have a lovely time, I'll be thinking of you.

Is this not the perfect solution, drive the van and sleep in it. Then you get peace and a comfy bed. No listening to drunks

you know what they'd say privately.......it sounds like they really like you!

you may not mind but I bloody would!