Bed situation. Weekend away.

[Puffalicious]

I'm going away for the weekend for my sister's big birthday, Fri-Sun.

Background is that I really don't want to go - I'm not a fan of 'enforced fun', drinking all weekend & 'girly' pursuits (as they call it) - hot-tub, nail salon, games, themes etc- but I felt I needed to go or there would be raised brows & bad feeling. I already do not go to the annual weekend away with my sisters & female cousins due to these very reasons, & didn't attend niece's abroad hen (went to home hen)- I plainly cite that it's 'Not my thing, but hope you have a lovely time & send lots of photos'. I did go to the cousin's one last autumn as it was in the UK, but didn't really enjoy it & was thankful I could wild swim/ go walks to have a bit of chill time.

Anyway, back to this weekend. It's both my sisters & sister-in-law, & each have a daughter (my nieces- ranging in age 19-30), so 7 in total including me (I have 3 sons so none of them attending). I've just found out there's only 6 beds!!! No mention of this beforehand. WhatsApp chat has mentioned we need to toss a coin for the sofa!

I'm just not doing it. Although i love them all dearly, I already don't fancy going & don't want to sleep badly all ruddy weekend. We've all paid the same- not a little amount. DN (30) has a fractured foot, so she can't go on the sofa.

YABU - take your turn on the sofa, suck it up.

YANBU- message the chat in some way. If so, what do i write?

I currently have a broken leg - nails pins etc and have been sleeping on the sofa for 6 weeks because I can’t face the stairs on crutches if I need to use the bathroom overnight!
A broken foot doesn’t mean no sleeping on sofa

Six beds, seven people.
Do the decent thing, make a huge personal sacrifice, stand down and let them go be girlies and have a bed each.
Which twat booked somewhere without sufficient beds FFS - or are they too dim to count to seven?

I think I'd be more worried about someone crashing in the camper van as a laugh or something! Keep it locked tight, and then leg it early Sunday morning as you said. Perfect.

If you are taking camper check there’s somewhere to park it

Surely some of the girls are sisters or cousins, can they really not share a bed? I've had to share with my sister before when there's not enough beds. Just top and tail it, no problem

Im older and I guess all my give a fucks have been well and truly depleted

Not a mission would I be going

Id be wanting my own bed, own room and if that wasnt happing - so not going

I dont even stay with family unless Im getting my own bed and room

This is so strange! I’d never want someone at something like this knowing they weren't enjoying it. It all sounds really awkward!

Do you mean 3 in a double or 2 in one of the singles? Can't see that working?

Time for a strategic stomach bug? 'I'd love to come but I just can't stop throwing up.'

You can tell those who can’t comprehend a situation.

I would also sneek off Saturday night! How will they know what time you left?

You need to grow a backbone op and sack this off. You clearly don’t want to go and you’re paying to be miserable for a weekend. It’s not worth it.

How old are you O.P?

If your nieces range from 19 - 30, perhaps you are at an age where you can joke about the young ones having to cope without a proper bed, the rest of you are too old, say it in a jokey way. And to be honest, if I was aged 20, I would not want my aunt to be on the sofa, put of politeness I would use it or expect one of the other cousins too.

Btw I am not saying you are old AT ALL but as there are two generations of adults here on the trip, that could be your way out!

If this was me, my DSiss and DF, we'd have 3 in 1 of the doubles. Top n tail if you have to. Or 2 sisters in a single.

🤦🏻‍♀️ There are seven people going to stay in a place with two double beds and two single beds. They ARE sharing beds already but are still a single bed short. Unless you’re suggesting three in one of the doubles or two in one of the singles? Because let me tell you, no one is THAT fond of their sisters…

This seems like the perfect solution, and comes with the added bonus of having an excuse to leave early Sunday morning too.

I wouldn’t go. It sounds awful.

If I did go then I would stay in a hotel. It’s not the sleeping on the couch that is the issue. It’s not having a private area to keep my things and to retreat to. You won’t be able to go to sleep or wake up when you want to.

At some point you have to stand up for yourself and when people get upset about it then you ignore them.

I refused to sleep overnight when my cousin was getting married. She had multiple kids by that stage so I wasn’t required to protect her virginity.

The reason I said no was because I found out I would be sleeping in one of her children’s beds. They weren’t going to be in it - but the sheets weren’t going to be changed before or after me and I just refused. I don’t regret it but my cousin didn’t speak to me for about 5 years after that happened. I still regret nothing. I stayed in the hotel with my boyfriend at the time and it was the right choice in the circumstances.

“Shame there aren’t enough beds, I don’t mind being the one to bow out. See ya”

This!

Yanbu but not sure what I'd say

I definitely wouldnt go though - its not personal, you just really hate that stuff x

Do bear in mind that if the accommodation is set up for 6 ie. there may be 6 dining chairs, sets of crockery, sets of towels etc.

I love the camper van idea - sounds like a perfect solution but very unreasonable if your sister to expect someone to pay equal but sleep on the sofa unless she’s used to passing out there on the regular? (I’m joking btw)

This. There's no trouble with sharing rooms or beds. I've shared with all of them at one point over the years. But I'm 53- fit & active but still not 23- & I find it hard enough sharing a double bed if on holiday with DH due to space (used to a super king) never mind 2 of my sisters. We're all menopausal- can you imagine the sweat?! 🤣

this is your get-out. "hmm i don't want to sleep on the sofa, so i'll give the weekend a miss so nobody else has to, send photos and have fun"

They know you don't like these weekends.

If you really are going to go to what sounds like a tedious bore, then say "i am not sleeping on the sofa. That is non-negotiable" and carry on as before being coerced into doing something you don't want to do.

It was my lovely SIL. I'm surprised at her tbh- school teacher, so v organised, & likes her luxury.

I’d claim a nasty bout of v&d the night before.

It amazes me that people would have guests and not provide clean bed sheets and towels etc. I’ve taken my own bed linen to people’s houses before if I’m suspicious 🤣