Bed situation. Weekend away.

[Puffalicious]

I'm going away for the weekend for my sister's big birthday, Fri-Sun.

Background is that I really don't want to go - I'm not a fan of 'enforced fun', drinking all weekend & 'girly' pursuits (as they call it) - hot-tub, nail salon, games, themes etc- but I felt I needed to go or there would be raised brows & bad feeling. I already do not go to the annual weekend away with my sisters & female cousins due to these very reasons, & didn't attend niece's abroad hen (went to home hen)- I plainly cite that it's 'Not my thing, but hope you have a lovely time & send lots of photos'. I did go to the cousin's one last autumn as it was in the UK, but didn't really enjoy it & was thankful I could wild swim/ go walks to have a bit of chill time.

Anyway, back to this weekend. It's both my sisters & sister-in-law, & each have a daughter (my nieces- ranging in age 19-30), so 7 in total including me (I have 3 sons so none of them attending). I've just found out there's only 6 beds!!! No mention of this beforehand. WhatsApp chat has mentioned we need to toss a coin for the sofa!

I'm just not doing it. Although i love them all dearly, I already don't fancy going & don't want to sleep badly all ruddy weekend. We've all paid the same- not a little amount. DN (30) has a fractured foot, so she can't go on the sofa.

YABU - take your turn on the sofa, suck it up.

YANBU- message the chat in some way. If so, what do i write?

Seems to me that the obvious solution is that one of the youngest ones - the younger nieces - gets the sofa bed in exchange for paying a much reduced amount.

Makes it worth their while to put up with the discomfort at their age.

Thank you so much for all that information, it's really appreciatiated. I love the idea of one day going touring with a little home on wheels.

I hope you have many more adventures with Barry 😊

God that really does sound tedious. Will they all be in matching pyjamas? 😳
Say you've got dysentry.

Just take your super comfortable campervan then and sleep in that.

I love how much more you’ve unwittingly said about how cool you think you are vs OP.

I'd politely but firmly insist that a mother and daughter sleep in the same room. You have to hold your nerve a bit here. Also, if you are enemy no 1, for having a few 'no, not my thing sorry' then that's really on them. And I'd, again, politely explain it as such. You're life will be a lot nicer if you put a few boundaries in place. If you were 19, I'd say 'suck it up, it might be fun' but you're old enough to know what you do and don't want to do. Respect how well you know yourself by saying 'no' politely but being firm. Best of luck!

Quietly state first come, first served on beds. They stay up drinking, you go to bed early, you get first pick of the beds.

Presumably, some of the beds are doubles. Mother/daughter can share?

Tell me you haven’t read the thread without telling me you haven’t read the thread 🤦‍♀️

What I can’t understand is the lack of communication about the accommodation before the booking to check everyone was ok with the lack of beds that someone was going to make do with the sofa but still make an equal financial contribution.

Rather than book 8 bed accommodation and all pay a little extra.

I would think that whoever booked banked on the OP not going or making her own arrangements and that OP was not assertive enough to tell the others (who are family) that she was not going to sleep on the sofa bed and pay the same as everyone else.

Nor tell the organiser to consider the needs of all the family.

OP is out of the ‘circle’ and is allowing herself to be pushed around and won’t up stand up for herself which you have to do in families which have a different dynamic from friendship circles.

Take the camper van and sleep in that! Sorted!!! Surely that won’t upset anyone as you’re still with them. Sell it as you doing everyone a favour! 😊

Can you just go for one day?

I have decided at the age of 65 I do not do things that I don't want to. This trip sounds like my worst nightmare. I would have said no straight away as soon as it was raised. They are family, they should know you hate these horrible gatherings. Having said that, no comes out of my mouth before the first sentence if finished on anything like this. Stand your ground. Do not go. And if they don't like it - so bluddy what.

Why can they not toss a coin to see which Mum and daughter share a room/bed. My Mum and Sister and I go away every year to a cottage for a girls week and we have shared a room/bed multiple times, sometimes me and sis, sometimes me and mum!

The sofa is not a proper bed. Whoever is sleeping there, has to be the last to bed and the first up as, presumably, its the only living room!

Because all the mums are already sharing beds with their daughters and OP is sleeping in her camper van.

How are people not understanding this? It's very basic maths.

What if they were?

I would absolutely put on matching pyjamas with my sister!

I do NOT do matching pyjamas. These were a feature of the abroad hen I didn't go to in July, along with dressing up, themed swim-wear, games, sashes & willie straws. Not my thing at all. And that's okay if it is your thing.

I’d be wary about taking the camper, hopefully they won’t be using you as a taxi service or sending you shopping frequently and hope they don’t expect you to take their cases/bags ( unless someone else is driving there too? )

I hope you have a wonderful time! It will be lovely to have fun and socialise until you’ve had your fill and then retreat to your cosy, comfy and quiet camper!

I wouldn't go it sounds awful. But I am in my fifties so old and boring with back issues. I always feel it's so much easier to be honest with a sibling than a friend. Just tell her you can't go and can you two go out for a quiet meal to celebrate her birthday instead.

You also sound quite dry humoured and funny to me!

This is my idea of hell on earth. Cringey Hen Do's, no thank you!

Sounds like you taking Barry is the best way forward. Perfect solution. And I agree about not asking the venue. It's a vehicle like any other.

Hope your sister has a lovely birthday, and you manage to get some peace and solace, and a good night's sleep.