Granddaughter taking over weekends

[ThePerkyBiscuit]

My son (29) has moved back in with me as he's split from gf. I have lived alone for the last few years and enjoy my peace. His ex has been working on a Saturday and so my granddaughter (9) is there every Saturday overnight till Sunday. They take over the living room and tv. I enjoyed the peace I had , time for hobbies that have now been put aside at the weekends, I feel like saying this is my house and I don't want it every weekend. I feel every other weekend is reasonable. I am not the parent, obviously if something happened I would step up but it's just people putting others out cos they want what they want.

Poor girl, upheaval of a break up of mum and dad and now granny says she doesn't want her there everyweekend to she her own dad. In this case he needs his own place so what's his plan there?

Why are you asking about the other grandparents, the child is with her father, in her father's care during the time OP is talking about.

The child is presumably in contact (or not as the case may be) with her matneral grandparents when she is with her mother.

Imagine a parent that won't support her son in having his child for one night a week!

Being so judgmental never helps us learn or understand anyone but ourselves

It seems you believe the person just putting others out to get what they want is your son’s ex rather than acknowledging the reality that your son is a father. Why did you agree for him to move in with you if weren’t happy with his child being there one night a week?

All day Saturday and Sunday. Thank you. Every week.

Hide the remote control!

Which is still not 50/50 parenting.

He needs to get his own place and he needs to be considerate that it’s your home but in the meantime, can’t you try and understand he wants to see his child.

What a horrible comment.

Are you one of those people who thinks an older woman should always be expected to put herself last behind what everyone else in the family wants and her own needs and preferences don't matter?

Well that's not how you described it in the OP.
Do you work?

You sound smart n a deep thinker

How much did you see your son when he was a child? I'm betting more than that.

Yes, an old habit! Others first.

I dont think you are unreasonable OP in wanting your space in your house the way you want it, thats a normal state to be in, but you also did agree for your son to move back in with you and he comes with a child so that was inevitably going to be part of his week with her, in your home

The best way to solve this is for him to be independent and live separately.

Being a loving and engaged grandparent does not always have to involve being with that child for 48 hours straight every week, some people would find that tiring and overwhelming and OP is not in the wrong for feeling that way.

That is really unfair. My DM is in the same position as OP (except my nephew is there Friday to Sunday). My DB works nights Friday and Saturday and sleeps during the day. DN also has SEN. My DB is in her 70s and on the verge of a breakdown. Every time I see her she cries about how exhausted and trapped she is. She spends all week recovering and just as she’s starting to feel like she’s getting her strength back it starts again.

Some people absolutely take the piss out of grandparents.

He really needs to be taking her out for some of the time.

Look, if ever there was a time that your son and your granddaughter needed you, it's now.

When your granddaughter is a teenager, she might not bother.

Please make the most of this time, step up, support them, get your son to cook a roast dinner for all of you. How things go from here is pretty much going to depend on you. Do your hobbies on the other days. It's not forever.

Op if we’re being judgemental it’s because you aren’t considering the needs of a child whose parents have just split up. I can see it might be annoying if you’re used to living on your own but the disruption to you is nothing compared to that of a 9 year old girl.

When you agreed for your DS to move in with you did you not realise that meant your GC spending time at your house?

Realistically, he has to have his daughter - do you want him to move out? perhaps ask him?

Yes this is what the experienced people are saying , after they have been a parent / grandparents themselves. Or been taken advantage of by others.

Ah, the OP is one of those who only respond to the most extreme replies to their OP in single sentences. Tedious.

That sounds awful, your poor mum.

However OP is not looking after the child, and is only concerned they can’t watch tv on Saturday night

The double standards on here are so ridiculous sometimes. If the father posted moaning a this DM he'd be attacked and told it's not her child and not his home.