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Original poster

Granddaughter taking over weekends

569 replies

ThePerkyBiscuit · 20/07/2025 11:01

My son (29) has moved back in with me as he's split from gf. I have lived alone for the last few years and enjoy my peace. His ex has been working on a Saturday and so my granddaughter (9) is there every Saturday overnight till Sunday. They take over the living room and tv. I enjoyed the peace I had , time for hobbies that have now been put aside at the weekends, I feel like saying this is my house and I don't want it every weekend. I feel every other weekend is reasonable. I am not the parent, obviously if something happened I would step up but it's just people putting others out cos they want what they want.

OP posts:
thelakeisle · 20/07/2025 11:43

ThePerkyBiscuit · 20/07/2025 11:01

My son (29) has moved back in with me as he's split from gf. I have lived alone for the last few years and enjoy my peace. His ex has been working on a Saturday and so my granddaughter (9) is there every Saturday overnight till Sunday. They take over the living room and tv. I enjoyed the peace I had , time for hobbies that have now been put aside at the weekends, I feel like saying this is my house and I don't want it every weekend. I feel every other weekend is reasonable. I am not the parent, obviously if something happened I would step up but it's just people putting others out cos they want what they want.

He has to have his daughter with him when her mother is unavailable. You will have to make sure he moves out asap.

Cherrytree86 · 20/07/2025 11:43

@ThePerkyBiscuit

OP, how DARE you have a life of your own outside of your family?? How are you have a hobby? How dare you want peace and quiet in your own home on a weekend? Soooooo selfish of you. Dont you know as a middle aged woman you’re just on this earth for one thing and one thing only - to facilitate your family, to make their life easier in whatever way you can.

….according to some posters on here anyway (those with a bad case of internalised misogyny) 🙄

OP’s son is 29 and a father - he needs to move out and get his own place. That’s all there is to it.

SomeOfTheTrouble · 20/07/2025 11:43

He’s already doing the very bare minimum of parenting so the solution shouldn’t be that he sees less of her. He needs to either move out or take her out at the weekends.

Nanny0gg · 20/07/2025 11:43

ThePerkyBiscuit · 20/07/2025 11:40

It was sprung on me, never been asked anything

Show quote history

She's not there in the week so that's a perfect time to sit down with your son and ask him his plans

Then tell him your expectations

Couldyounot · 20/07/2025 11:44

Is he planning on getting his own place, OP?

Fraggeek · 20/07/2025 11:44

If you feel like they're taking advantage of you, tell your son to move out asap.

If you want to put yourself first, great. You do you. But don't get upset or defensive when there are other that have a different opinion to the responses you were after.

SpryCat · 20/07/2025 11:44

I would be very direct with your son, I would say, that you need time at the weekends, to relax and do hobbies, He needs to take her out and do things with his daughter, that you need a few hours each day to yourself

AndrewPreview · 20/07/2025 11:44

How long term is he thinking of staying with you? or has that not been mentioned? Nothing wrong with moving back in with parents after a break up (life happens and it's nice to have a safety net) but he needs to get his own place.

rose88xx · 20/07/2025 11:44

I’m honestly concerned it sounds like he never takes her out if they are there all day Saturday and Sunday in front of the tv? Is there space to make a TV area elsewhere where they could watch tv if that’s all they want to do, and you could have some peace back in your living room?

FfaCoff · 20/07/2025 11:45

Can I ask how it stops you doing your hobby? Can't you reclaim the sitting room? It feels like there should be a compromise here where she's there but the disruption on you is minimal. She's 9, not a toddler.

KateMiskin · 20/07/2025 11:45

I expect with the housing crisis intergenerational living is inevitable. Ok. But I hate that women who have likely already spent their whole lives putting everyone first, have to keep doing that into their old age.

Ponoka7 · 20/07/2025 11:45

I'm my DD's childcare. If they were my children, they'd have less time on screens and be getting out more. Because they aren't, I'm going to be putting up with a lot of background, nonsensical noise, most of the summer. I make my youngest GC go upstairs to listen to the crunching YouTube videos. These things grate as you get older and you start to need downtime more. He absolutely shouldn't cut down on access. My ex Son in law tends to go swimming with their girls, none of us like swimming. Their Uncle does the hiking with them. A weekly class/group is a good bonding experience. He needs to break up the weekend. Ninja warrior etc is another good shout. He is saving money living with you, so can spend a bit. Would camping be something he could take up?

MrsSunshine2b · 20/07/2025 11:46

You knew he had a daughter when he moved in. Either he can live with you, which means it's his home and therefore also his daughter's home, or he can't. Make your mind up.

Original poster
ThePerkyBiscuit · 20/07/2025 11:46

Jaws2025 · 20/07/2025 11:34

Did you notice there's not a single mention of liking this child though, not "I love seeing her but not every weekend" or whatever.
Very detached

Show quote history

Lol, there is no room for all the details 😅 there is , I have mentioned it , obviously i do love seeing her

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 20/07/2025 11:46

Cherrytree86 · 20/07/2025 11:43

@ThePerkyBiscuit

OP, how DARE you have a life of your own outside of your family?? How are you have a hobby? How dare you want peace and quiet in your own home on a weekend? Soooooo selfish of you. Dont you know as a middle aged woman you’re just on this earth for one thing and one thing only - to facilitate your family, to make their life easier in whatever way you can.

….according to some posters on here anyway (those with a bad case of internalised misogyny) 🙄

OP’s son is 29 and a father - he needs to move out and get his own place. That’s all there is to it.

You call it internalised misogyny, I call it supporting each other when life isn't going perfectly.

Anyway, do we even know that OP is a woman?

GAJLY · 20/07/2025 11:47

Just have a polite word with him. Tell him every weekend is too much for you, as it's affecting your weekends. Ask for alternate weekends only. As you need the other weekends to relax. If he wants more, then he'll need to move out. There is nothing wrong with what you're saying at all, just inform him of your previously agreed boundary before he moved in.

notacooldad · 20/07/2025 11:47

What hobbies did you have? Can you involve your granddaughter in doing any with you?
Why? OP wants dome if her personel space and time back.
I wouldnt want other relatives, never mind one that is a child muscling in on my downtime and hobbies.

ohheck28 · 20/07/2025 11:47

While i understand this must have upset your peace and routine a bit, I think you’re being quite heartless. Your son has split from his partner, I presume he is only staying temporarily with you until he gets back on his feet. In the meantime he can’t not see his child. Don’t you enjoy spending time with them both? Maybe reframe it as a break from the norm and think of things you can do together. You’ll probably miss them again when they’ve left.

MumWifeOther · 20/07/2025 11:47

I think you’re being mean. I’m sure this is a temporary arrangement and it’s important your son sees his daughter. You can, and should, carry on with your hobbies. Then just spend one evening in your bedroom so they can have the living room. It’s hardly the end of the world! Or forever.

MumWifeOther · 20/07/2025 11:48

notacooldad · 20/07/2025 11:47

What hobbies did you have? Can you involve your granddaughter in doing any with you?
Why? OP wants dome if her personel space and time back.
I wouldnt want other relatives, never mind one that is a child muscling in on my downtime and hobbies.

It’s her fucking grandchild and son?

LaLaLandDreams · 20/07/2025 11:49

Needs to move back out.

KateMiskin · 20/07/2025 11:49

I can't wait till some posters get to the knackered stage of menopause and realise how badly one craves quiet time away from everyone else.Without the blaring TV.

Original poster
ThePerkyBiscuit · 20/07/2025 11:50

Thankyou for the helpful comments, Im grateful some of u understand what being older is like and I know I need to be assertive and work out a compromise that works our for everyone involved.

OP posts:
notacooldad · 20/07/2025 11:51

You knew he had a daughter when he moved in. Either he can live with you, which means it's his home and therefore also his daughter's home, or he can't. Make your mind up.
Im sure all those that are saying suck it up sunshine would love their routine, hobbies, quietness and home disrupted indefinitely! I think not, especially when you are older.

It may not be so bad if there was a time frame attached to it but when there is no end date in sight im sure that is extremely wearing.

whistlesandbells · 20/07/2025 11:51

Hi OP, I can see where you are coming from.
Your granddaughter is 9, can you ask your son to enroll her in a club or activity at least one of those days? Organise play dates out of the house / summer days now (park/etc). You need to tell your son he has to take her out at least part of every weekend. Also, why don’t you start using your home at the weekend and make it clear you need your space?

Several people have asked and it would be helpful to know, when is your son planning on moving out?