To be fuming OH didn't change baby's nappy ONCE while I was out??

[Grantoffs]

Went out for the afternoon, first proper time to myself in god knows how long. Was out 1 til just after 7. OH had DS (9mo) all day, I’d prepped everything. Nappies, wipes, food, spare clothes. Told him when baby last ate and had a change etc.

Come home and DS STINKS. Like full on knock-you-over smell. Changed him straight away and his poor bum is bright red, even had a bit of rash coming up. 😩 He’d 100% pooed ages ago and been sat in it. I asked OH when he last changed him and he just SHRUGGED and said “I didn’t think he needed one??” then started mumbling something about him napping so he didn’t wanna disturb him.

Mate. You’ve had him SIX HOURS. You didn’t once think to just check his nappy??? DS always poos after lunch, it’s not some mystery. He was up and about, playing, eating, not exactly zonked out the whole time.

I’m honestly so angry. DS was crying while I cleaned him up, obviously sore. He’s never been left like that with me, I check him constantly. OH acted like I was overreacting and said “it’s just one nappy.” Yeah and now DS is miserable and can’t settle for bed.

Also he didn’t give him the food I left – gave him half a banana and some crisps?? Said he didn’t want to make a mess with the proper food 🙄

Feel like I can’t trust him to do the basics. He’s not a babysitter ffs he’s his DAD. And I know if it was me that left DS in a dirty nappy all day everyone would call me neglectful.

AIBU to be this annoyed?? Or should I just chalk it up to him being clueless and try not to blow it up? Dunno if it’s me being hormonal or what. Just feel really let down.

He's only threatening the custody thing so she won't actually leave him and it looks like it's going to work.

In reality, there's no way he'd have the baby over at weekends. He couldn't care less about him.

state that wont be an option. Him only having weekends is not fair or beneficial to the baby. He would have to parent during the week too. never agree to weekends for him only. He should also be doing nursery and school runs.

speak to the university and ask for advice and financial and practical options as a single parent with a child. And soon to be without a home. they should be able to advise.

what course are you doing at uni? will it lead to a well-paid career?

This relationship is toxic.
He is using threats to keep you in line.
Talk to Women's aid.
Photograph the babys bum.
Keep notes.
Stop sleeping with him.
No more babies with him.
Tell your GP what happened and get it noted.
Quietly make your plans.

This loser won't change, they never do.

You know now that your mum was right don't you? You thought HE WOULD CHANGE? Silly girl.

You're a single mum with two children right now (I assume you do all the cooking and cleaning, does he even work?). You may as well get your education while you have somewhere to live and then leave him once you have options.

Make better choices for yourself and your child in the future.