Was I unreasonable to post this picture (privacy)

[midlifesharp]

DD competes in a sport. She’s ok but has never won anything. She enjoys it though. She’s trained a lot recently and had a competition I was able to attend - and she won!!! I managed to snap a once in a lifetime action shot of her doing so as well.

I have a very small private Facebook - fewer than 100 people. Family, friends and a few school parents. I wanted to post the picture, mainly for the older relatives. Now, also visible in shot was DDs friend, coming in behind her. Friend is lovely, mum is a little difficult. She’s super crunchy and quick to share her views. I checked with her before posting the picture as her child was also in it, not expecting any problems as she regularly posts her own pictures of her children. However she said that she didn’t want her daughter on anyone else’s social media -so I posted the picture with her daughter cropped out as much as possible and with the remaining half of her face blurred.
She’s now messaged me asking me to remove the whole picture as people who know the girls compete in the same team could guess that it’s her daughter. You cannot tell it’s her daughter at all! It’s half a blurred face, an arm and a leg.

Am I right to be a bit cross or have I misjudged a parenting/ privacy issue?

This is crazy if the girl's face is blurred. Presumably those that know she competes in the sport would assume she was there, regardless of whether she's in the picture or not. Why does it matter if there is a blur of her in the background? The only thing I could see she may be upset about is if the sport is something like swimming perhaps and there is a lot of her body on show. In which case I would probably think twice about posting a pic of your own dd on social media too.

This !

She’s now messaged me asking me to remove the whole picture as people who know the girls compete in the same team could guess that it’s her daughter. You cannot tell it’s her daughter at all! It’s half a blurred face, an arm and a leg

Tell her no, you won't take down the picture as her dd cannot be identified from the blurred image and people knowing your dd's are on the same team is really not relevant - they'll all still know your dd beat hers!

I agree with your DH and other posters who reckon she's just miffed that your dd beat hers. Tough titties.

Tell her to get a grip. I think it’s more about the fact your daughter won. Her daughter did not. You asked her. She needs to eff awf.

This!

Crying face emoji over the kids face 🤣

Stick a loveheart over where the other girl is

No, she’s being unreasonable.

There’s no expectation of privacy in public. You can film/photograph what you can see. I wouldn’t have bothered to ask permission in advance; if she doesn’t want her child to ever appear in the background of anyone’s photo, she should really keep her at home.

You have taken the sensible option of restricting her access.

Given the child was already suitably blurred, I’d have taken the less grown up option and removed her child as she asked on Canva, making it look my daughter had won by a whole country mile 🤣

Can you edit the picture and erase her daughter by colouring over the bits you can see completly. Sounds like she's pissing on your chips because your daughter won.

Unfortunately I think it's this to!

just cut the child out as much as possible & blur as much as possible then ignore the daft cow,

well done DD 😀👍🏻

This, if I knew how!! 😀

Respecting someone’s parenting decision and privacy for their own child doesn’t require legal consultation. As I have already said, if you posted a photo with my friends kids in the background and their dad saw them, YOU would be the reason all 3 of them end up in hospital or dead. YOU. Could you live with that all for the sake of posting a photo on facebook? Privacy laws or not, you’re an arsehole.

This
She once cornered another parent to ask why her child wasn’t invited to a small 6 person party

along with the info that the mum puts pics of her kids on her own SM makes me think it’s a jealousy issue, rather than anything serious.

My phone has a magic eraser function for photos, you can just highlight what needs removing and press the rubber icon

@Mrsttcno1

did you read the post?

so I posted the picture with her daughter cropped out as much as possible and with the remaining half of her face blurred.

so no one call actually tell who it is

IMO the mothers just cross her daughter didn’t win

🤣🤣🤣

Again, have a real think about the danger you could be putting someone else’s kids in living by this motto. So children who have fled DV should now be kept in the 4 walls of their home so that you can post a photo of your little Jimmy at sports day on Facebook with them in the background? What some horrible fucking parents there are on here, stop living your life on bastard facebook

OP, the more you pander to people like this, the more they’ll want. Next time, upload whatever you what, wherever you want without any fuss.

If someone is in a situation where their child appearing anywhere online may literally put their life at risk due to an unhinged relative or similar, they will generally be nowhere near situations that could be risky, such as competitive sport, shows, award ceremonies etc.

The mother isn’t happy that she is suitably hidden- hers is the only vote that counts for her own child.

What’s funny about children being hospitalised by an abusive dad?

I don’t understand her point. If people know the daughter is on that team and are able to guess that it’s her, what difference does it make? By that logic, even if you fully crop her out, people will know that her daughter was in the same race. I’d stick a big smiley face sticker over the child in the background. And I’d make sure I was equally petty in the future.

I'm in two minds, on one hand you asked if she minded you posting a photo with her DD in it, she said yes and you posted the photo albeit blurred out.

On the other hand, her reasoning is barmy.

people who know the girls compete in the same team could guess that it’s her daughter

People who know the fgrls compete in the same team will know that...the girls compete in the same team, and instead of having to imagine them running next to each other, they'll have possibly seen a photo depicting it happening. That's all.

Having said all that, I'm not a fan of FB and it can get in the bin as far as I'm concerned, we have a family WhatsApp and anyone else that merits seeing a photo of DC gets one directly.

Fuck up, I’m not even a Facebook user so wind your neck in.

Are you telling me that everyone should refrain from posting a photo of their child on their SM account because of the remote chance that someone is in the background somewhere who might be at risk?

Fucking obviously if someone requests something isn’t posted because of such a serious reason then people will respect that but expecting everyone to be so cautious on the off chance that someone, somewhere might be at risk is ridiculous.

I’m sure you can make posts only viewable to certain people on your contact list? Just do that and ignore her. I also think she’s just pissed that her DD didn’t win.