Was I unreasonable to post this picture (privacy)

[midlifesharp]

DD competes in a sport. She’s ok but has never won anything. She enjoys it though. She’s trained a lot recently and had a competition I was able to attend - and she won!!! I managed to snap a once in a lifetime action shot of her doing so as well.

I have a very small private Facebook - fewer than 100 people. Family, friends and a few school parents. I wanted to post the picture, mainly for the older relatives. Now, also visible in shot was DDs friend, coming in behind her. Friend is lovely, mum is a little difficult. She’s super crunchy and quick to share her views. I checked with her before posting the picture as her child was also in it, not expecting any problems as she regularly posts her own pictures of her children. However she said that she didn’t want her daughter on anyone else’s social media -so I posted the picture with her daughter cropped out as much as possible and with the remaining half of her face blurred.
She’s now messaged me asking me to remove the whole picture as people who know the girls compete in the same team could guess that it’s her daughter. You cannot tell it’s her daughter at all! It’s half a blurred face, an arm and a leg.

Am I right to be a bit cross or have I misjudged a parenting/ privacy issue?

Just type in chatgpt to remove the girl in background and upload the photo x

So why even let children out in public, then? Right now mine are in swimsuits running around at a water park, with lots of parents sitting on the sidelines. Should I have kept them home? Should I never call out their names if they don’t hear me? When we drive home, should I drive in crazy directions for a couple hours in an attempt to throw off anyone who could be following us?

What an excellent idea!!

There are apps where you can remove items in a photo. Sometimes it’s not perfect but will do good enough job for what you want it for

The only person talking about hospitalised children is you.

The rest of us are talking about the subject of the thread 🤣

There are fb groups that edit people out.
Try magic edits.
Might have to post asking for a private edit though as if not, the pic is on the group for all to see.
Will be a small charge for some edits.

There’s an app called Airbrush that has an option to erase things/people in the background, really easy.

She’s insane! Put a big crying emoji over what’s left of the child in the background!

there are photoshop apps that will remove the other child but I’d be tempted to go back as say the child isn’t identifiable/yous obscured her child and that you won’t be removing the picture

Exactly. Except don’t drive anywhere because there might be a drunk driver on the road and you might crash, the children will surely be killed and you’ll live the rest of your life in a pit of regret.

The anxiety in some of these replies is palpable. Nobody can do anything because maybe someone’s a paedophile. Or maybe a child’s estranged Dad is a lunatic. They’ll be passing this level of neuroticism onto their kids, I bet.

This mother has asked for it not to be posted, explicitly, so you’re saying that someone like my friend should have to divulge their entire gory, vulnerable, very upsetting history to everyone just so they can understand how serious it is? She shouldn’t just be able to say “no I’m not okay with that” and that be enough?

This.
I also dont thinj you've done anything wrong, you messaged first and then removed and blurred the other child.
Sounds like she's maybe being salty as your daughter won?

She’s being a nob for the sake of being a nob

You can just use a magic eraser, not chatgpt... erasers won't change anything else.

Does the friend usually beat her at the sport because if she does that’s the issue.

YANBU, the other mum is being ridiculous

Uploading it to ChatGPT is way worse than posting it on Facebook!

No, they can divulge as much or as little as they want. But ultimately, if someone takes their child to some kind of event where it’s bloody obvious that photos/videos will be taken (such as sport competitions, dance shows, plays, school award ceremonies etc), then it’s wholly unreasonable for them to expect another parent to keep their own photos private.
It’s hardly like the OP took a photo of this woman’s child, that would be different.

The OP should never have bothered to ask in the first place.

People can’t control what others do with photos. What about the case of school class photos? The parents all buy them display them at home. If someone has a child whose life would literally be at risk, they simply can’t be in the class photo.

There is a way in which you can ‘lift’ an individual off a scene in a photo.
i have accidentally done it when I was just looking at my photos. I have got no idea what to actually do with the lifted image though. I hope that sounds half helpful!

Just ignore the idiot, don't allow yourself to be bullied. Blurring is good enough and she's just dominating you for the sake of it. Don't feed it.

Can you not just edit and use a squiggle pen to draw over the friend entirely? Or do you know anyone with a good phone/AI technology? I have a Samsung latest model and can use its AI to edit/remove specific objects from photos by outlining/tapping on them.

This. And OP could just remove the other girl on an ‘object remover’ app (lots of free ones)

She had half her face and body completely cut off and her face totally blurred. Literally just half a face of blur. I even blurred her hair!

I think it's a pile of balls if she posts pics of her own daughter on SM.

But that said, you can always WhatsApp or email the photo to relatives - no need to put it on FB really.

I did edit her out. Her half blurred shape could only possibly be identified if people knew she’d attended and where she’d placed.

If you want DM to me I can try edit it OP.