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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling wounded by DP's comment about a fitness video I sent him.

305 replies

ExplosiveDiorEar · 01/07/2025 15:46

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

OP posts:
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 01/07/2025 15:49

YABU for having a creme egg in July when it's so hot.

SaturdayDream · 01/07/2025 15:49

I know it’s an achievement for you but it isn’t interesting to others.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/07/2025 15:50

I can understand his position. I had a hobby which DH wasn't comfortable with me doing so I gave it up years ago.

myplace · 01/07/2025 15:51

I’m with you.Tell him he was supposed to be looking at you, not the trainer. How much can he squat?

myplace · 01/07/2025 15:51

Wow. AIBU is being particularly spiteful today.

ExplosiveDiorEar · 01/07/2025 15:52

@neverknowinglyunreasonable It's not actually that hot here today 😂

OP posts:
Picklechicken · 01/07/2025 15:52

SaturdayDream · 01/07/2025 15:49

I know it’s an achievement for you but it isn’t interesting to others.

Wow. I bet you’re fun at parties.

StripyShirt · 01/07/2025 15:52

Well done re gym!

Your DP is being silly, unless the bloke was doing something very odd.

JustPinkFinch · 01/07/2025 15:52

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/07/2025 15:50

I can understand his position. I had a hobby which DH wasn't comfortable with me doing so I gave it up years ago.

Unless that hobby was shagging other blokes this is mad.

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 15:53

Well I agree it's a big achievement for you but honestly why do people feel the need to video everything they do?

I think people live their lives as though its a tv documentary not real life.

IReallyLoveItHere · 01/07/2025 15:53

Bloody hell that's impressive, well done.

Is he usually an unsupportive git? I'd feel pissed off too but let it slide if yes usually OK. Maybe he's a bit insecure.

BallerinaRadio · 01/07/2025 15:53

The creme egg is a bizarre detail to include

Lmnop22 · 01/07/2025 15:53

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/07/2025 15:50

I can understand his position. I had a hobby which DH wasn't comfortable with me doing so I gave it up years ago.

You’re really coming on here to advise people to give up hobbies that they enjoy if their partner decides they don’t like them doing it?

You can be under the thumb in your own life if you must, but don’t start trying to stunt the lives of others

DJSteves · 01/07/2025 15:53

You’ve achieved an amazing personal goal. Enjoy the crème egg and fuck everyone else.

Goditsmemargaret · 01/07/2025 15:54

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/07/2025 15:50

I can understand his position. I had a hobby which DH wasn't comfortable with me doing so I gave it up years ago.

I wouldn't be bragging about that.

latetothefisting · 01/07/2025 15:54

SaturdayDream · 01/07/2025 15:49

I know it’s an achievement for you but it isn’t interesting to others.

Fuck me, you must be a joy to live with.
This isn't just random "others" it's her partner, the one person in the world who is supposed to support and love you.

Op wasn't expecting a surprise party and diamond necklace, just a congratulations for something he knows she's been aiming for. If your own partner can't say well done, who can?

althoughI was also querying where they got the creme egg from in july!

ExplosiveDiorEar · 01/07/2025 15:54

JustPinkFinch · 01/07/2025 15:52

Unless that hobby was shagging other blokes this is mad.

This really made me laugh 😂

OP posts:
lazyarse123 · 01/07/2025 15:54

Well done on achieving your goal. Sad that the miserable twat has to spoil it. Maybe tell him not to judge all men by his low standards

eosmum · 01/07/2025 15:54

Well done that is a massive achievement. What is wrong with everyone here? Your H is a shithead bringing you down like that, shows his insecurities.

Lmnop22 · 01/07/2025 15:55

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 15:53

Well I agree it's a big achievement for you but honestly why do people feel the need to video everything they do?

I think people live their lives as though its a tv documentary not real life.

To share with her DH something she’s been working towards for a whole year and which she can’t just show him in the living room?!

MrsSethGecko · 01/07/2025 15:55

Creme Egg jealousy here.
And well done!

myplace · 01/07/2025 15:55

Does that mean you squat lifting him? Maybe he’s feeling inadequate 😆

ElCorazon · 01/07/2025 15:56

Why do you feel the need to be celebrated by everyone?
Btw..I think his comment was funny!

Nomorelabubus · 01/07/2025 15:56

I don't think he's that unreasonable. My DH is into fitness and goes off on one giving me demonstrations and explaining exercises to me and if I'm honest, there's nothing more boring. You did well though.

Entangledlife · 01/07/2025 15:56

That's amazing @ExplosiveDiorEar , fantastic achievement!

Your DP is being a bit of a nob - you say he's usually supportive so maybe he's grumpy and hot and jealous?

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