Feeling wounded by DP's comment about a fitness video I sent him.

[ExplosiveDiorEar]

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

Good Lord, some folk have been smacked with the meany stick today haven't they?

Congratulations OP (I don't know anything about gym stuff, but it soounds uper impressive and you obviously worked hard, so well done you)

Your DH sounds very insecure if he is threatened by a gym instructor, and also jealous that you have achieved a goal, people who love us are usually delighted when we succeed at something, that's kind of what love is all about.

I'm interested in my DP's achievements regardless of whether I am interested in the activity itself. That's pretty normal when you care about someone.

Bloody hell! He’s her partner - why on earth shouldn’t he be interested?? My dh would be so proud of me if I’d achieved that. Set your bar higher!

She wasn't telling Sharon in accounts, she was telling her fucking husband. You know, the person you actually marry so you can share your thoughts, your bed and your life with!

Well done you!

Did you tell him you were hurt?

😂

She can tell him what she's done can't she?

Or do you think he won't believe her?

I thought fitness was a personal goal not a performative one for other people's entertainment.

Jeez the misery police are on here today

I wanted to video it because its a massive personal achievement that I've worked hard for.

We also have a gym WhatsApp group where we share videos of reaching personal goals or milestones.

I have zero delusions that I'm in a TV documentary.

What's wrong with you? She didn't want celebrating by everyone just a "well done" by the one person whose supposed to love her. What he said wasn't remotely funny it was accusatory and downright mean.

I filmed my daughters first steps and sent to family, but because I didn’t think they’d believe me that she could walk but because it’s a nice way to preserve and share an achievement with those close to you…!

It’s not performative to show one person (and her DH for that matter!) a video of something she achieved at the gym 😂

Was he aware of what he was actually watching?

It is difficult to tell without watching the clip: I think I’d recognise that you were lifting weights but I’m not sure I’d appreciate how heavy the weights were nor how significant that was for you.

I wonder if you would have got a better response from a text verbalising your achievement.

Well done on achieving your goal.

Not even the person you’re married to? My husband is always interested in my personal achievements.

FFS. I think everyone is really crabby today due to the heat. If I’d been working towards something, anything, for a year I would expect my husband to congratulate me for achieving it. My husband is not “everyone “, he’s meant to care about my goals even if he has no personal interest. Wanting a simple “well done, that’s great” is not expecting a prime time news announcement and a ticker tape parade.

Come on…try and see the funny side of it! OP walks through the door and her man says ‘Tom’s a bit shady’
Honestly, it cracked me up 😆

But it should be to her partner.

He said ‘a bit handsy’, not ‘a bit shady’. But either way, I can’t see what’s side splittingly funny about it?

The gym instructor always has a wholesale box of something chocolate-y and hands them out whenever anyone reaches a goal. The box of creme eggs were bought around March-ish.

I'm not sure why I added the detail about the creme egg to the OP. I did have a reason but I can't remember it now 😂

Perfect place to be in this weather due to the air-conditioning, so a creme egg would be fine.

I mean you can't come out with that and leave us all hanging, what was the hobby?
Seal culling?
Binding books with human skin?
Being a member of Reform?

Unless it was escorting or stripping, I'd say more fool you!

Most partners are supportive of each others accomplishments….

Well done OP! Thats a great achievement!

assuming he’s not a total arse, is your DP fit and healthy? Or is he a bit out of shape, worried you’re getting super fit with some fit bloke helping you?! I don’t agree at all, but I can see if he was a bit insecure that might be the first thing he said.

I hope he apologised and congratulated you though, sounds like you’re progressing brilliantly, I am miles away from what you’ve done - well done again!

Why? Serious question, what do you find funny about it?

That’s what I’m wondering. I know we all have different sense of humours but I can’t even see where the joke is there? I don’t think the DH even intended it to be funny.