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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling wounded by DP's comment about a fitness video I sent him.

305 replies

ExplosiveDiorEar · 01/07/2025 15:46

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

OP posts:
Objectrelations · 05/07/2025 23:24

I’m in the yeah well done but don’t expect your loved one to be that excited.
However that misses what I think was the main point of the thread which is that her boyfriend was more worried about her personal trainer’s hand position than her achievement.

Oldwmn · 06/07/2025 17:07

latetothefisting · 01/07/2025 15:54

Fuck me, you must be a joy to live with.
This isn't just random "others" it's her partner, the one person in the world who is supposed to support and love you.

Op wasn't expecting a surprise party and diamond necklace, just a congratulations for something he knows she's been aiming for. If your own partner can't say well done, who can?

althoughI was also querying where they got the creme egg from in july!

Bulk buy in January 🙂

Themaghag · 07/07/2025 18:54

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/07/2025 15:50

I can understand his position. I had a hobby which DH wasn't comfortable with me doing so I gave it up years ago.

More fool you!

OneVividJoker · 10/07/2025 17:06

ExplosiveDiorEar · 01/07/2025 15:46

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

I had a partner years ago who did something similar when i passed my HGV licence test, which was massive for me, and quite an achievement for a woman back in the late 80s. Looking back now I can see what a sad inadequate shit he was. And also very jealous of not only mine, but anyone else's success. He will never admit it, but I think yours had a touch of the green eyed monster there😏

Americano75 · 11/07/2025 13:27

OneVividJoker · 10/07/2025 17:06

I had a partner years ago who did something similar when i passed my HGV licence test, which was massive for me, and quite an achievement for a woman back in the late 80s. Looking back now I can see what a sad inadequate shit he was. And also very jealous of not only mine, but anyone else's success. He will never admit it, but I think yours had a touch of the green eyed monster there😏

Ha, you've just reminded me of my now ex husband distinct lack of excitement when I got my degree. I'm sure the fact that he dropped out of uni after a year was entirely unrelated. Prick.

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