Feeling wounded by DP's comment about a fitness video I sent him.

[ExplosiveDiorEar]

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

Is that a cocktail?

What an arsehole comment

FFS.

How silly of you

Are you always like that if someone close to you achieves something that they are proud of? Is it too much effort just to say 'well done'?

I’ll have a double please. With a crème egg chaser.

If you haven't seen a squat being properly spotted, it might look a bit 'intimate'. e.g. Facebook

You have a weird sense of humour

Congrats OP! We are proud of you here on MN. Your DP is jealous and it ruined your big moment. May be worth talking about this later.

You can tell it's a heatwave without even stepping foot outdoors on this site because the replies are so petty and narky. Posters just falling over themselves to shit on someone else's parade.

Well done, OP, that's an amazing achievement! I'd video it, too, I don't give a fuck if no one else cares, I want proof that that was a thing I could do to look at when I'm old. Your DH sounds like he's being insecure and jealous. That's a him problem not a you problem. I'd probably try to have a chat with him about it in a few hours' time (because as is evident on here, being too hot apparently doesn't bring out people's best selves) and explain how it made you feel, with an expectation that he'd realise he was being a bit of a twat and would apologise/be appropriately pleased for you.

I think what @SaturdayDream meant was that it’s not interesting to her. And let’s face it, hers is the only opinion that counts right? 😬

"he gave me a creme egg"

sorry just going to go and be sick

Funny haha? How is 'Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?' funny? He's hardly a great wit. He's just jealous.

@ExplosiveDiorEar well done on your achievement 🎉🎉

YANBU re your DP. He should be the one person who is there for you, supporting you.

Reading the first three replies made me remember why I switched to reddit. So many threads are miserable to read, because the miseries make sure to be first on a thread to try and set the tone. Makes you wonder what the agenda is...

Anyone in a healthy relationship should have a reasonable expectation that their partner would be supportive and celebrate their achievements.

If your partner is jealous, he should learn to process that in a healthy way and not let it poison happy moments.

OP, I think some men are a bit insecure of their wife's trainers. I had a colleague who came to work looking glum and moaned that his wife's personal trainer 'looks a bit like me but better looking, and I'm not happy about it.'
😁

Well done OP, that is an utterly fantastic achievement!

As for all the 'why did you record it' comments. I do a physical hobby and its recommended to record yourself - as a way to help you to improve your technique and to record achievements to keep your motivation up.

Thing is, if he had been at the gym and his female trainer was ‘handsy’ you’d (or anyone) might have commented on it before saying well done. (Well done by the way).

He sounds like a misery. Well done from me (and I don't lift!)

Its really sad that you let an insecure man control your joy.

Well aren’t you lovely. So the achievements of your friends and loved ones are of no interest to you?

OP it’s an incredible achievement - I’m so jealous of you being that fit and strong. If I did that my DH would be very impressed and delighted for me. In fact he’s supportive of all my achievements because they make me happy and he wants me to be happy. Of course if he spotted my buff trainer in the background he might make a joke about coming with me to training in future to keep and eye on me but it would be just a joke and I’d be happy he was still a bit jealous after all these years.

That's an objectively impressive squat OP, I would be delighted with that. Well done!

And yes that's how squats are spotted, standard practice, your DH was being a dick.

How do they manage it? It always amazes me how the first few comments on a thread can be so demoralising and miserable (not all but enough to think it’s a thing).

I concur! 🤣

OP that’s fucking amazing, you squatted 1.5x your body weight HOW???!! I don’t think I could squat half my body weight!

😂😂😂

But the gym instructor wasn't handsy at all. He wasn't touching me.

Even if he was, it wouldn't have killed DP to just hold off on that until later or tomorrow. And just let me have my moment 😂

I haven't told DP how upset I am/was. We're working in separate rooms (not because we fell out, because he's on meetings all afternoon). I might speak to him tomorrow about it.