Magic Mike Live - Bride really unhappy

[Vickersz]

I was given the task of organising my best friend’s hen. I, alongside our other friend, decided on Magic Mike Live. It’s very on theme for a hen and from what I have heard just a very silly dance show which gets people dancing and laughing (not at all seedy).

This will be the end of August. So great weather. We thought we’d go in a little tipsy (after bottomless brunch) and have a laugh as a group of girls (and a couple of gay guys). Finish with a dinner and some dancing. And Bob’s your uncle.

It’s all gone to shit.

Apparently the groom is not happy and thinks it’s a weird choice. He has told the bride he doesn’t want her to go. Everyone’s paid for the non-refundable tickets! There was a bbq last week and it was the main topic of conversation apparently. With all these weird theories as to why it was chosen. It’s not that deep!

My friend often attends bottomless brunch, dances on tables etc. And is no prude.

i genuinely feel ill! It’s being referred to as a strip show! The bride’s step mum and mum will be in attendance.

I really want to walk away from the whole thing.

I spoke to the bride and she is not happy at all

It’s hard to say…
I wouldn’t want to do this on my hen, but none of my friends would think I would. The WhatsApp group would be full of people saying, I don’t think that’s very Navyontop.
However I’d happily do it for someone else if I thought they’d enjoy it.
Her fiancé seems a little insecure and a tad controlling.
I’d tap out and say the following: I’m really sorry that I got this so wrong, perhaps there is someone better placed to reorganise?
I love you and want you to have the kind of fun you envisioned xx

I thought it was strippers? Isn’t that what the film is about?

I guess if he did paint ball then magic mike is a bit of a weird choice. I’m surprised young women want to see a bunch of blokes half naked grinding 😂 but then each to their own.

Think you might’ve misread the assignment. Maybe you all go unrelated to the hen for a night out and do something else for her hen do.

Agree. They are probably incompatible.
She needs to find a nice man who likes hanging out on strip clubs leering at women.

I’m going against the grain here. Sounds to me like the bride isn’t happy because the husband to be isn’t happy and THAT’S a huge red flag for me. What’s his stag do? I had a friend like this - HTB dictated what was allowed on her (UK only hen) and then proceeded to have 3, yes three stag dos one of which was a week in Ibiza. She was terrified of upsetting him. Magic Mike isn’t my thing so I don’t think it would be organised for my hen do but assuming you know the bride well and it is something she’d enjoy? Given the tickets are non refundable, I really don’t know what you can do here. Those who have paid, can they transfer their tickets to another date and then do something else for the hen do? If people knew the bride (or her husband) wouldn’t like it, why the hell didn’t anyone speak up?!

If a bride said she didn't want the groom having strippers at his stag would you see that as a red flag? It is something that does make some people feel uncomfortable. It would be much more of a red flag if she went knowing he was unhappy about it.

If you can’t be tacky on a hen do then when can you be? I think it’s just supposed to be a bit of silly fun. The groom is blowing it way out of proportion hope it gets sorted. Do you have a beer Keller near you? So much fun!

He went paintballing.

So he says.

Some people here are OTT, it's a raunchy west end show not something hidden down a seedy back alley.

I get it not being everyone's thing but considering not a single person spoke up at the planning stage it seems like it's very unexpected for the bride to be to object.

I don't think you're likely to have much success reselling the tiks unless you sell cheap looking at that shows availability, you can always plead for a refund but unlikely to happen. So maybe this just becomes a group outing and the hen is a different day, or someone will need to take a hit on the money (Or go ahead with original plan if the objection is misinformed on what the show is).

OP I'd ask the bride what she wants to do and step back from the organisation. At this point you're in a bit of a no win.

The bride isn’t happy at what? That you booked this show or that her OH doesn’t want her to go? Your post isn’t clear and it’s difficult to answer without knowing this.

You need a discussion with the bride, heart to heart. If she would have loved it but feels she can’t go against her OH wishes then that’s on her and really unfair to you. Is there a lot of money to be lost if you cancel? If so, she will need to face the wrath of her friends and own her issue, instead of putting the blame on you for her difficult ‘managing’ her OH. You wouldn’t be unreasonable to pull out if she can’t do that.

If she genuinely hates the idea, I mean genuinely, not just because of her OH reaction, then I’m afraid you’ve just made a bad call and you need to chalk it up to experience. I have sympathy for you especially if the friend does usually like this kind of thing.

What mumsnet thinks of it as an idea is irrelevant OP, so ignore. Most of them would rather be baking cupcakes and having tea in china cups.

Is the bride unhappy with the plans for the hen or the fact that her partner is unhappy or was she ok with it until he kicked off?

Hens are tacky, not my thing at all but it's part of the fun..

I find her partners attitude concerning.

Id get them to read the reviews. Bet the groom thinks it's a full on strip show with women getting on the stage to 'touch' and take part

Sell the tickets or you all go still with out the bride and have fun and arrange something more tame?

It would be a hard thing to fake. Its a day time activity and you get covered in bruises. I dont think we've been given any info from the OP to suggest he is a liar.

Funny how if a man goes to a strip club against his wife’s wishes then he’s BU, but magic mike apparently is different 🙄

It's not my vibe at all tbh. But when did fiances start getting consulted about hen do plans? Pretty sure it doesn't happen the other way round very often.

Yes, I know. I was kidding.

Although the one time I tried it, I was hit once, realised it fucking HURT so spent the rest of the time hiding behind a tree. So I suppose you never know ...

So many prudes on here 😂for my hen do, we went to a proper strip show where everything came out! Bloody good fun and just a bit of a laugh. Nothing harmful. My husband went to a strip club on his stag do - again, bit of fun, nothing harmful. If you’ve got issues with your partner doing something like this, you need to seriously take a look at yourself. Work on
your self confidence and stop being so insecure and jealous.

Sounds like a jealous Husband to be problem more than anything else!! I'm going to a similar show with friends in a few weeks and they don't do full nude, it is all about the showmanship and the dance moves, if anyone who has seen the films can see. God I'd give anything g to have Channing Tatum get me up to give me a personal show 🤣

I think given their reaction you have to chalk it up ad a loss, no matter how much of a surprise it is. You could suggest that the group goes to the show anyway, since you've bought the tickets, and have a nice time anyway. Maybe some can sell their tickets (not sure how selling non-refundable tickets works).

And do something else for the hen. I had similar problems when planning a hen, and I adamantly believe nothing was my fault. Of the three bridesmaids, neither lifted a finger to plan anything, alhough one was trying to become a party planner. One week out from the hen date I gave up and planned it fast. One kicked up a tantrum that she wouldn't go as there might be drinking and she wanted to stay away from that completely, and the other said the dares/games were disgusting and quite offensive. When I calmed down I contacted them and asked the games-objector to plan the games as I was so bewildered by it and couldn't manage and was sure she would manage better (she planned really similar games but said being in teams made it better), and promised the alcohol-objector that it was only a Greek restaurant we were going to, and that I wouldn't touch a drop but that there wasn't any restaurant without alcohol that I could think of. Would she like to try to find one. She couldn't. I do sympathise with her, but you just can't have a restaurant trip without alcohol being around. People are mad about these things.

I think an activity like that needs prior approval from the bride. When we arranged my sister's hen I asked her what sort of thing she would and wouldn't like and went from there. My dsister would hate anything like that, she's very reserved, and said nothing tacky etc so we decided on an afternoon tea and then a nice wine bar. Also many of the ladies invited would be uncomfortable with half naked men dancing so would probably not come. I think op has misread her audience. I'm sure many women would love magic Mike, but not all.

I would hate the cringe of this personally, but everyone is different, it's the bride who is the deciding factor here and you really should have okayed this first.

It sounds odd but could you change the date of the hen do and everyone who has bought non refundable tickets still go to this as a separate event? It sounds like you are all up for it and would be a shame to lose out on the money!

The groom sounds like a Victorian, controlling arsehole. I'm a guy, and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid if my wife to be had done this.

It's was more strip show than musical when my DD went to see it. Magic Mike are male strippers. You can get a lap dance.
Men aren't allowed to do it on here, but men who don't want their GF doing it are controlling.
Let's face it, they haven't got dad bods, or are old. Of course it's a sexual strip show. The Full Monty is more of a comedy play on stripping.

Brides telling their almost husbands not to go to strip clubs isn’t seen as controlling. In fact, letting them go is seen as being “cool wife” and is derided on here.