Magic Mike Live - Bride really unhappy

[Vickersz]

I was given the task of organising my best friend’s hen. I, alongside our other friend, decided on Magic Mike Live. It’s very on theme for a hen and from what I have heard just a very silly dance show which gets people dancing and laughing (not at all seedy).

This will be the end of August. So great weather. We thought we’d go in a little tipsy (after bottomless brunch) and have a laugh as a group of girls (and a couple of gay guys). Finish with a dinner and some dancing. And Bob’s your uncle.

It’s all gone to shit.

Apparently the groom is not happy and thinks it’s a weird choice. He has told the bride he doesn’t want her to go. Everyone’s paid for the non-refundable tickets! There was a bbq last week and it was the main topic of conversation apparently. With all these weird theories as to why it was chosen. It’s not that deep!

My friend often attends bottomless brunch, dances on tables etc. And is no prude.

i genuinely feel ill! It’s being referred to as a strip show! The bride’s step mum and mum will be in attendance.

I really want to walk away from the whole thing.

I spoke to the bride and she is not happy at all

I would hate going to magic mike, think it’s as seedy as strip clubs for men and having worked in one, I have zero respect for anyone paying to watch someone get naked or semi and dance for them 🤢 silly to have booked it without checking with the bride so I think you’ll have to all just swallow the non refundable tickets, have the bottom less brunch and just do dinnee / dancing.
lots of places now have dinner with a club vibe, kind of like Mykonos. Much better than a nightclub!

Most weeks on here there's a thread about a stag do, and it being a "red line" and never does anyone say that its a concern that the fiancée is dictating what the stag can and cant do.

Magic mike show wouldn't be my cup of tea either, its definitely something you have to clear with the bride beforehand, I'm sorry OP this sounds like quite a stress.

Yes, its not for me either! Went once, never again.

If someone has issues and calls it a strip show then I think the reply should be along the lines of “That’s why I booked this show”
“Definitely no stripping involved”

I would still go as planned but call it Not friend of Vickersz Hen Do

The bride has danced on tables!

I hate this logic - a woman has done X, so she has no right to feel uncomfortable about Y. On a thread last week, a bride was annoyed that her friend wouldn't take part in a photo where all the hens had a letter on their bikini bottoms to spell out a word. She complained that the friend had "paraded around in a thong", so she had no right to refuse the photo. It makes me uncomfortable. It's the same logic men use when they get angry when a woman won't date them even though "she's not exactly a virgin".

Women who claim they watch magic Mike for the dancing and showmanship are as unbelievable as men who used to claim they read playboy for the interesting articles

So many cool girls on this thread:

"If you don't like strip-shows, you're a prude!"

I am not sure whether it is controlling or not really. On my Hen I was very very clear before hand that under no circumstances should there be stripping. I am very against stripping for many reasons , male or female and for me magic mike would fit into that category. I would also not accept stripping on my partners stag do. Its exploitative and a complete red line for me. So if his friends set up a strip club or similar, I would expect him to turn it down. i would also not expect him to give me excuses like it is an 'arty' strip show or not real nudity! I dont think that's controlling. Only she knows if this extends to other things, or whether he is against stripping. If he is happy to go to lap dancing club and has in the past then that feels controlling. But if he is against stripping in general, i think thats a really good thing.

If the bride had expressed to her fiance that she wouldn't be comfortable with him going to a strip club on his stag, would that be 'possessive and controlling'?

So anyone who doesn’t want to go to a strip show or strip club is an insecure, jealous prude?
What a ridiculous, small minded comment.

I don’t like things like Magic Mike because I find them really cringy. I’m not a huge fan of the typical male stripper look either so I don’t find it exciting in that way.
Im not a fan of strip clubs due to concerns about trafficking and the power dynamics of men buying sexual services from women.
Neither of the above makes me a prude or insecure.

The fact i’m a fully paid up, active member of killing kittens and skirt club certainly suggests I’m as far removed from prudish as you can get!

If you like going to watch strippers, good for you but it doesn’t make you cooler or more self confident than those of us who don’t.

If the hen really doesn't want to go then ask her what she would prefer to do. If you can't sell the tickets then maybe you can all still go but not as a hen do.

It’s a musical, not a strip show. I think it would be the ideal thing for a hen night both now and 30 years ago when I had mine! As you say, it’s just talented dancers with their top off what’s not to like. The issue is the groom!

From what Vickersz has written it is the bride’s thing.
I wonder if the reason why the bride is upset is because some cultural differences/ behaviours between her and the groom which have been in the back of her mind and she has ignored have now been forced into the daylight for all to see and she knows she is either going to lose friendships or her fiancé over this as people now see his behaviour as a red flag

It includes "strip teases and lap dances for those who want them" according to the promotional material I just found by googling

Classy

But this isn’t a strip club

You don't see dick do you? Maybe a couple of butt cheeks if that?

It seems horrible that he's reacted in such an extreme way. He certainly can't try and stop the rest of you from going if you've got tickets. But if she really wants to go it's up to her to tell him she's doing it.

What a shame as you clearly went to some effort to try and make it a fun occasion.

Personal opinion it's tacky and I wouldn't go but it's nothing to do with the Groom.

Keep the plans and if individuals don't want to attend it's up to them.

Bride will need to put her foot down with Groom too, not being allowed to go ffs 🙄🫡.

All of the rest of you go and have a good time and bride to be can do the brunch etc and not go to the show. Problem solved. Invite someone else to use bride's show ticket.

But strip teases don’t involve removing any more clothes than they would take off to go to the beach. They keep all their bits covered. Just seems to be men dancing to music and showing their muscles off. All the women just cheer a bit and act a bit juvenile.

and lap dances usually are usually awkward for women. They aren’t getting a sexual experience out of it. It is usually done to embarrass the person receiving the dance and all their mates whoop and giggle at their expense. No one has to accept the lap dance- they can say no and I am sure many do.

It's not a strip-show.

If it's not your thing regardless, and you don't want to go, that's a complete non-issue. You don't have to want to watch the movie either.

If you are one of the posters fainting and calling it seedy, gross, tacky, horrible, disrespectful, and I could go on, you are being ridiculous.

What's next? Complaints about the state of nakedness of most classical dancers? They are wearing outfits a lot more revealing than the female dancers wear 😂

I think that you've been thrown under the bus here, the groom has heard about and is uncomfortable and now everyone who thought it was fine has turned on it.

I would say to the bride, I'm sorry ! But I'm out, someone else can sort it.

Not worth all the hassle and there will be a weird atmosphere if you then organise something else !

I would also go to the magic Mike show and take anyone who had tickets and still fancied it.

Disclaimer - I've not read 16 pages of chat.
I am not into strippers and the thought of seeing the show was my worst nightmare - that said, I thought it was brilliant. The guys performing are really brilliant dancers, it's so impressive. I had such a great time with friends.
Yes they do pick on people in the audience and dance on them / around them - but it's obvious who wants to be chosen.
Sorry you've been put in this position OP. FWIW I think the groom needs to chill out, it is NOT the same as going to a strip club.

Absolutely. Horses for courses. I'd rather eat my own liver, but some people love this sort of stuff.

The groom sounds very controlling. Not good.

But that's not what this show entails?