Magic Mike Live - Bride really unhappy

[Vickersz]

I was given the task of organising my best friend’s hen. I, alongside our other friend, decided on Magic Mike Live. It’s very on theme for a hen and from what I have heard just a very silly dance show which gets people dancing and laughing (not at all seedy).

This will be the end of August. So great weather. We thought we’d go in a little tipsy (after bottomless brunch) and have a laugh as a group of girls (and a couple of gay guys). Finish with a dinner and some dancing. And Bob’s your uncle.

It’s all gone to shit.

Apparently the groom is not happy and thinks it’s a weird choice. He has told the bride he doesn’t want her to go. Everyone’s paid for the non-refundable tickets! There was a bbq last week and it was the main topic of conversation apparently. With all these weird theories as to why it was chosen. It’s not that deep!

My friend often attends bottomless brunch, dances on tables etc. And is no prude.

i genuinely feel ill! It’s being referred to as a strip show! The bride’s step mum and mum will be in attendance.

I really want to walk away from the whole thing.

I spoke to the bride and she is not happy at all

I think you’re posting on wrong forum about this Op, lots of mumsnetters notoriously uptight about hen dos. Unless it’s a refined afternoon tea - with pots of tea and scones - and eveyone home by 6pm then it’s seen as something terribly common, immature and tacky.

None of us know how the conversation went between her and her fiancé. Maybe he is controlling. Or maybe he explained he wasn't comfortable with it and she decided to respect his opinion.

Personally I wouldn't go to this type of thing, watching men (some who are you going enough to be my child!) half naked feels wrong.

@Vickerszit is a strip show. They aren’t meant to but at the one I went to begrudgingly the men showed their penises several times and flung them around. There was full nudity involved + dancing = strip show.

i wouldn’t be thrilled if my hubby spent his stag at a strip show given that there are so many other options on what he could do.

its not about being a prude, I found it kinda gross & cringe personally

This! If a woman objected to their partner going to an event like this, with women dancing around no matter how “tame” people say it is, people would be on her side and on here probably calls of cancelling the wedding and LTB.

It’s a tacky, cringe event to me personally and if someone planned that for me I’d be devastated and probably let them go to it without me. It’s just not something I’d enjoy in the slightest.

He went paint balling,

RTFT

Exactly. I would have seen it as hugely disrespectful to my husband to do this as my hen do. In fact hugely disrespectful generally when in a relationship

It also objectifies men in a grim way and is just bleak. I remember someone organised a male stripper to come to a university party and I just found it so awful in every way.

That's unfair.
You can object to particular activity without it making you uptight.

It sounds absolutely gross. It’s the last thing I would have wanted.

It wouldn’t be my thing at all but I think some replies are OTT, isn’t it literally a West End show? It shows up on my todaytix app for London Theatre Week a lot!

Who does the groom think he is, dictating what she can and can't do on her hen do? I think he's probably just insecure that she'll be looking at a bunch of fit guys then go home and be disappointed by him.

When was that? I’ve been twice (2021 and Apr 2024) and we saw nothing more than 1 man’s bum for all of 5 seconds. I came to this thread to say MM is fun and great for Hen do but I will reserve that judgement if the show has changed since I saw it and full frontal nudity is happening.

I wouldn't have married my husband if he had gone to watch strippers for his stag do. That's not being controlling, it's having standards.

“He doesn’t want you go and see men strip off he’s controlling you!”

meanwhile, back in the real world …

I agree with a pp that the main concern here is the groom to be dictating what his fiancee should/can do on her hen night.
Given that the bride has seen the films, there's no reason to think she'd not enjoy the show.

It's not something I'd have wanted, but thats just me. I did make clear what I wanted for my hen do (or rather what I categorically did not want) and the friend that organised things took that into account and planned accordingly. If I'd given someone free rein to organise whatever they wished, then that would have been on me to suck it up if it wasn't what I liked.

I think you just go ahead and if bride to be can't or won't come then maybe arrange something else with her for another time.

I would enjoy going to MML and have no issue going on it as a hen do or as the bride. YANBU in my books

Groom sounds controlling, red flags

The thing is, the bride and her fam were apparently down with the plans until the groom kicked off. So if he is of your persuasion on the subject, he shouldn't be marrying her anyway since she'd have happily gone along with it all save for his intervention. Which suggests incompatibility between the pair.

Since the OP has gone to the bother of arranging the non-refundable event and the bride apparently never gave her any advance steer on what would be or not be acceptable, then it seems to me she owes the OP an apology for all the time wasted. I certainly wouldn't be lifting a finger to organise anything else for her. She can do that herself.

I've only read the first page & your responses, op, so I may be repeating points already made. I also don't know anything about magic Mike but from what I've read it's a theatre show not stripping, SO...

Does the fiancee realise this? I wonder if this is all down to him thinking she's going to a strip show and it's a misunderstanding. In which case, it should be fairly easy for her to resolve but once she's explained she ought to give him time to process and move away from his emotional reaction.

I'm surprised at people saying they think it's controlling for a fiance to veto a strip show - as this seems to be what he thinks it is - when I consider the number of posts I read complaining about husbands seeing strippers.

Unless he's being hypocritical, then it's perfectly reasonable to say you're uncomfortable with a partner seeing a strip show.

IF he knows what magic Mike is and is still unhappy then I guess it comes down to mutual respect between the two of them. Again, he doesn't have a leg to stand on if he's being hypocritical but if he's just straight-laced then any compromise they come to is between bride & groom.

Caveats for controlling behaviour etc.

I don't think you're at fault here, op, the problem is that you don't know the fiance as well as your friend which is to be expected.

Exactly that!

OP, just go without her, you and the rest of the people who have booked can have a lovely time!

I think you need specify it’s not a strip shoe and nothing to do with the movie .

And I wouldn't marry someone who thought they could dictate to me and my friends what we did. It's called having standards.

What if the husband said he wasn't comfortable and she decided to respect that? I dont think im controlling but I would tell my husband if I wasn't comfortable with him doing an activity.

She's got agreement from everyone who paid to go. The hen party does not need prior agreement from the groom. Massive red flag.

I mean it is a strip show, that's exactly what the whole thing is about tbf. But is she's watched and liked all the movies I can see why you booked it - let's face it lots of hen/stags go yo watch strippers either seriously or for a giggle. But it is absolutely not worth causing tension in their future marriage. Not going to strippers call be very much a deal breaker for some people - and a man has just as much right to feel uncomfortable about it as women often do. Sell the tickets on or you and everyone that wants to go and rearrange something her and her partner will be more comfortable with for her hen. It was a swing and a miss but you haven't done anything wrong

Her husband to be sounds controlling and she sounds like she would have enjoyed it (especially if her mother was happy to join in) but he’s ruined it for everyone by being insecure.
Can you try and see if you can sell the tickets or explain the situation and get a refund. Is here time to organise something else.

How rubbish for you! Hope it gets sorted soon.

There's a huge difference between telling someone they can't go out to a pub and being uncomfortable with someone letching over strippers.

But hopefully you have married someone that likes going to see women in strip clubs so you are well matched. I would never marry someone who wanted to pass their time in such a seedy way