Magic Mike Live - Bride really unhappy

[Vickersz]

I was given the task of organising my best friend’s hen. I, alongside our other friend, decided on Magic Mike Live. It’s very on theme for a hen and from what I have heard just a very silly dance show which gets people dancing and laughing (not at all seedy).

This will be the end of August. So great weather. We thought we’d go in a little tipsy (after bottomless brunch) and have a laugh as a group of girls (and a couple of gay guys). Finish with a dinner and some dancing. And Bob’s your uncle.

It’s all gone to shit.

Apparently the groom is not happy and thinks it’s a weird choice. He has told the bride he doesn’t want her to go. Everyone’s paid for the non-refundable tickets! There was a bbq last week and it was the main topic of conversation apparently. With all these weird theories as to why it was chosen. It’s not that deep!

My friend often attends bottomless brunch, dances on tables etc. And is no prude.

i genuinely feel ill! It’s being referred to as a strip show! The bride’s step mum and mum will be in attendance.

I really want to walk away from the whole thing.

I spoke to the bride and she is not happy at all

OP
Send this article to your friend and put it in the group chat.

Clarify what it is.

Make sure they know it’s a live version of the films (that your friend loves) and NOT chippendales, oiling themselves up making women touch them.

I can understand why the Op booked it But I still think it’s something that needed to be run past the bride first. A live show like this is different to watching the film.

Whenever I see or hear the words Magic Mike, I cringe. There's nothing magic about that tack.

Its not my cup of tea but I dont think I would throw my teddy out over it. I would just go and try to have a laugh if someone bought me a ticket.
The issue sounds like her fionce. But in reality, if she is not happy with him going to a strip show for his stag, which I imagine she wouldnt be, she can't really go to to one herself. Therefore its a bit imnapropriate as a hen event because it is clearly causing upset between the husband wife to be,

If someone likes the films version of Chicago would you think it needs running by them when booking to it on the West End?

Chicago is raunchy too

I don’t understand the controlling DH aspect? If my DH went to a stripper for either his own bucks do, or as a participant for any other I’d be disgusted and it would be it for us as he would then not be the man I thought he was. Surely, it’s the same here for stag and hen? She likely doesn’t want to go as she knows he will be disapproving/disappointed in her participating in this. That’s completely different to being controlled.

I’m on team Hen here. Awful, tacky shit. I’d sell the tickets, likely at a loss and just chalk it up to the lessons of bad judgement.

Sure…

Do you really think this is the equivalent of men going to a strip club? (Considering the women on stage are all part of the show and not audience members?)

Well, we need clarification as to which Magic Mike live show has been booked to see if that’s comparable.

Some of the shows involve audience participation which IS different to going to see a stage show version of a film.

Fair point.

Hopefully OP can clarify which kind of show it is.

I'm just here for the usual mumsnet double standards. Whether or not you think the groom is BU, the fact remains that if it was a bride complaining about her husband to be's stag going to a strip club, everyone would say that she was within her rights.

Is it? Honestly I thought Magic Mike was simply a stage show sorta based on the film. So just a bit tame male dancing with their tops off looking buff.

No indecent exposure just a bit of silliness. Not the same as an actual strip show which to my horrified eyes at a Hen do involved a man swinging his dong about which was just the most unsexy weird thing I’ve ever seen and I have never felt so awkward at the back trying to will the whole thing to end!

I wouldn’t compare a stage show to a strip club where people do strip off fully.

I am sure no women had any man at the show come near her without her consent. If she says no they move on to someone else

Not one of my male friends had a stag do like this. Does it happen, sure, but not as often as you seem to want to make out.

I agree with this.
Speak to the bride, apologise for getting it wrong and smooth it over.

What a shame for you, your intentions were good.

But surely only audience participation with consent and surely it is only a few in the audience for a bit of silly fun. Quite different as to why a man would ask for a lap dance surely. If I was there and I was asked to participate I’d simply say no thanks.

Sounds like the bride would normally enjoy it but the groom's reaction iscausing her to feel she should be shocked too. I feel for you OP, I wouldn't want to organise a hen do. Good luck

I can’t work out if the bride wants to do it or not? What’s she unhappy about?

@Vickersz

Gosh I really feel for you. Organising a hen-do is so stressful and you will never please everyone.
I think it looks fine, it’s more dancing than stripping.
Plus the focus of a hen do should be just having fun together - whatever you do!

Perhaps contact the venue, ask for seats further back - or if anything can be changed to accommodate?
But if someone had organised this for me, even if I had reservations - I wouldn’t complain! Definitely focus on the having fun together part. There might be a bar in the venue where anyone can go to if they think it’s too much.

Its a great idea for a hen do - I suspect its not the bride its her bf thats got his knickers in a twist!

The London one is very tame and if you don’t want to participate in the one song (I think it was one) where there is some audience participation on stage - don’t!

I have seen worse in nightclubs tbh!
I have no solutions but I feel for you - you have asked everyone that matters to her including her mum and they all said yes!

Are the tickets transferable to another day - then perhaps people can still use their tickets when they want to.

Also my partner wouldn’t give a stuff if I did this on a hen do. Bit weird if the groom is being difficult about it. What is he doing on his stag??

Can you just go over there and speak to them directly?

Explain what you've said here -that it's not anything like a strip show and at most men will have their tops off, that it's something intended to be cheesy and a bit of a laugh rather than sexy in any way.

Apologise if you didn't get it right but point out that of 20 of her closest friends and her mum didn't see any issues with it.

Tbh I would assume it was more of a strip show so if you explain its more of a jokey thing then they might cool down.

Put the ball in her court - what does she want you to do? Say everyone has bought tickets so you can't refund them - she can come to everything else and then leave but that would be a bit of a disappointment for her hen. She can rearrange so you just do the show as a random night out without her and she has a hen on another day but whether people will be able to afford to do both might be an issue. Or if he's that paranoid suggest the groom meets you there and comes to the show with you! Give up your ticket if you can't get any others nearby.

I'd basically treat it in the same way as if you'd booked a different activity you thought she'd enjoy but she says she won't-paintballing or a restaurant she doesn't like the food at or whatever - apologetic at having inadvertently not got the event perfect but not crawl on the floor, beg for forgiveness as if you've done something morally wrong.

At the end of the day hen parties are supposed to be a bit cheesy and cringe - if she didn't want anything at all like that it was on her to stay involved herself rather than opt out and have it kept secret or at the very least give you some guidance.

I fully appreciate that I’m projecting massively here but the audience participation aspect would mean I’d be dreading it all day - especially if I was the bride as experience tells me I’d be more likely to get picked on!

Look, I know some people love this type of thing ( most of my friends do!) but it’s not for everyone and that’s okay 🤷🏼‍♀️

Doesn’t mean we’re boring or uptight. Ive been a member of killing kittens and skirt club for decades and I’ve seen some interesting things… but for some reason this sort of thing makes me cringe.
But that’s just me … I wouldn’t begrudge anyone going and enjoying themselves. It’s just not for me.

That was my question too… it would make a huge difference to people’s responses!

If the groom doesn’t know that it’s just a tame dance show then maybe he thinks she’s seeing a load of strippers which of the roles were reversed would be totally reasonable to be pissed off about.
Unless as you say she was a table dancer. Do you mean this? Or do you mean she’s just danced on tables? The latter is different and entirely irrelevant.

Really? Is that the best idea you could come up with?
No wonder she is upset.
What a tasteless and utterly crass choice.