Magic Mike Live - Bride really unhappy

[Vickersz]

I was given the task of organising my best friend’s hen. I, alongside our other friend, decided on Magic Mike Live. It’s very on theme for a hen and from what I have heard just a very silly dance show which gets people dancing and laughing (not at all seedy).

This will be the end of August. So great weather. We thought we’d go in a little tipsy (after bottomless brunch) and have a laugh as a group of girls (and a couple of gay guys). Finish with a dinner and some dancing. And Bob’s your uncle.

It’s all gone to shit.

Apparently the groom is not happy and thinks it’s a weird choice. He has told the bride he doesn’t want her to go. Everyone’s paid for the non-refundable tickets! There was a bbq last week and it was the main topic of conversation apparently. With all these weird theories as to why it was chosen. It’s not that deep!

My friend often attends bottomless brunch, dances on tables etc. And is no prude.

i genuinely feel ill! It’s being referred to as a strip show! The bride’s step mum and mum will be in attendance.

I really want to walk away from the whole thing.

I spoke to the bride and she is not happy at all

Why is it okay for women to have boundaries when it comes to these events but not men? Why is he controlling to not want an in-person strip show? Because if they’ve watched the films that will very much be what they are expecting.

the suggestion that the rest of the group go on to the show after the bottomless brunch and sending her home in a ‘fancy car’ is horrible and I would not forgive my friends for that. This event is meant to be for her not a group night out - regardless of the reasons why she doesn’t want to go, find something else.

Its true though, sure some people definitely feel apprehensive to be honest but its unlikely an entire group of people who are closest to her would just play along if they had concerns. Ironically youre the one who cant seem to imagine that not everyone is the same!

I would assume the bride and groom have made an agreement for no strippers etc at their stag and hen dos.
You say he’s had his and they went paint balling, so he’s held up his end of the deal. He’s now annoyed she isn’t abiding by the agreement.

I’d also be mortified to go with my mother and mother in law to be there.

Tacky as hell and she doesn’t want to go. It’s her night and she deserves to have fun, not sit miserable through something seedy.

Phone the box office (not the ticket reseller site) and explain, they may well be able to help.

You’ve organised something. Everyone has paid. That means you are all going, bride or no bride. It might be a comic henless hen do. No need for you to organise anything else. The groom can do that.

One idea at this stage is to say you’ll all go and leave at the interval if it’s awful?

I don't think the groom is controlling. It's fine to have this sort of thing as a boundary. I wouldn't go to a male strip show (or something intended to be titillating) because my bar for cheating is high and this crosses a line for me. If he feels uncomfortable with it, that's fair enough.

If my DH had gone to a strip club for his stag, there would have been no wedding. He's never been to one, refused to have a stag to avoid any problems with what the best man might have planned, so didn't have one at all.

I know this is probably a higher bar than many would have, but it's our values and it's not controlling.

It probably is and I’m sure you’re right. I was asking questions and offering an alternative perspective. Or is that not allowed?

Do you love the films?

I reckon it's a case of the groom thinking this is something much more than it actually is. He's probably imagining the men will be naked, covered in squirty cream with his missus licking it off.

Does the bride/groom know how tame it is? That (from the sounds of it) it's just a dance show really? Maybe that needs explaining.

Your DH didn't have a stag do? For fear of what best man might have planned? What a crock of s**t.

Yours is absolutely an example of controlling behaviour imo. You were happy for your DH to have no proper stag do, no proper send off with friends before beginning married life, due to fear of the best mans arrangements?

What a weak feable excuse. A supportive DW would be encouraging their DH to be more assertive and stand up their best man. Sounds like you prefer DH to be a pushover and were delighted he had no stag do with friends.

Well that explains something ! We went to the theatre last night and, coming up to the street from the Cranbourn St exit of the Tube, we eased our way past 4 different hen groups. All very giggly and tipsy: no judgement, just wondered why so many at once there. The timing was right for them to have just left the afternoon show.

To be fair it probably is tamer than I thought it would be, but still not my cup of tea, and possible it crosses a boundary

It sounds like it would be a great day out for all, sorry OP :(

Professional actors dancing with their shirts off and a full storyline (as per the film) is worlds away from the seedy and exploitative world of female strip clubs. No nudity either. The two cannot be compared.

I would't get too upset about the fake uptight and outraged posters on here. There's a lot worst in adverts for a rasor blades or jeans and you know they don't bat an eyelid then.

Why is that relevant?

I never said my situation was identical. My friends booked me a naked butler for my hen do, they assumed I’d enjoy it as they know I go to burlesque and pole dancing classes and I’ve been to Torture Garden.
They were wrong, I didn’t want a naked man serving me drinks and giving me a lap dance in front of my friends and family.

I’m not say the bride in question feels the same at all, and people are probably right in their assumptions about the grooms views (which he is entitled to btw). I was merely offering an alternative perspective which is kind of the point of these threads isn’t it?

Not wanting to go to a magic mike live show makes me fake and uptight?
Really?

OP I do feel for you. You are in an awkward situation now, after making all that effort. Can you ask the bride directly what she wants you to do now? Given she loves the films, I think you made a reasonable decision booking it, as she is clearly into that genre.

I think now it’s come to this, you need an open chat with her, making it as low stress as possible if you can. Good luck. Your intentions were good.

Magic Mike Live isn’t a strip show, it’s a dance show. It’s not like the Chippendales.

The female equivalent would be something like burlesque or the moulin rouge.

What boundaries? There's no difference between MM and Chicago in which females sing and dance to jazzy numbers whilst wearing next to nothing. Would you forbid your partner from going to see Chicago?

It's a seated show, a theatre performance. The actors aren't going to be running into the back row, grinding their hips into your face.

PP say boundaries when they actually mean their own insecurities.

Yes it's tacky, yes it's corny but so what? People dance happily to tacky and corny songs all the time. I'd rather have a daft bit of cheese on a stag/hen do than a sophisticated evening of wine tasting and fine dining😴

I’m a phenomenal cultural snob and I’m too old for this but this isn’t a strip show - it’s a musical about strippers. No touching. No nakedness. Female narrator. MM seems to devised as an experience of a show - like Rocky Horror. The reviews use words like fun, exciting and empowering. If the bride is a party girl who loved the films and even her mum thought it was a good idea, then it’s a very reasonable choice for her hen. Sounds as if the groom thinks it’s a real strip show and has had a meltdown. I’d suggest that the bride change the date of the hen and the poor OP, who has been put in a terrible position, cheerfully hand over the arrangements to someone else. If the tickets can’t be resold then maybe suggest everyone else can go as a pre-wedding get to know you night. This review says it’s fun. Not for me, maybe, but for lots of people. https://www.londontheatre.co.uk/reviews/channing-tatum-magic-mike-live-hippodrome-casino

Shit situation and I hope you don't end up out of pocket.

If you want to carry on with the planning, ask the groom for a list of pre-approved activities that that the bride is allowed to participate in to avoid any more drama.

I never really discussed it with him. I asked him if he was planning one and he said he'd told his best man he didn't want one. Nothing to do with me. I never had a hen do either. It just wasn't such a big thing to have these dos thirty years ago as it is now. But I wouldn't have accepted him going to a strip club.

There have been other times I've encouraged him to go out with friends and he's refused.

My DH isn't very assertive (he's better now) so he would actually have taken the easy road rather than stand up to his best man at the time. He was very young. That's a habit of his that has been a bit annoying at times, just taking the easy road rather than face something.

It’s relevant because if you love the films, it’s reasonable to assume you would like to see the live show.

There are different Magic Mike Live shows - there is a musical version (which will probably be tamer but not really appropriate for pissed up hen party) and there has been a stripper type show more like the film was based on (probably more appropriate for hen parties but definitely trashier). Hard to know from OP's posts at the point of my comment which type she had booked.