Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

[ProlongedAffair]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5294980-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads?reply=144269354

I can’t write on the previous thread anymore, so I’ve created this one for people interested in the outcome of the CMS case. I’m committed to telling people what the outcome is regardless of whether it goes my way or not.

@ProlongedAffair ,

‘I don’t think any of you understand what it is like to look after children for over a decade, pretty much single handed, then they reach teenage years and your ex swoops in, starts doing 50/50, doesn’t want to pay CMS and starts claiming the benefits you’ve had for years. I’ve no idea whether he’s going to win this second claim but it’s very unfair.’

I think you are misunderstanding what this maintenance is. You are making it sound as if you want to be paid for looking after the children.

Maintenance is designed to compensate the parent who has the child more for the extra nights they have them. This is meant to go towards extra food, transport, heating etc etc for the children. What it isn’t is pay to look after your own children!

Assuming you had a ‘clean break’ settlement, that is where differential incomes are meant to be compensated for, so you both come out about equal assuming a 50/50 split of childcare.

That is how the court will look at it and you need to understand this and be realistic about it before you throw good money after bad and potentially damage your relationship with your teens.

It’s really not unfair. Stop blaming the CMS. You chose to go to them in the first place because you were being greedy. You played a game and you’re losing, so now you’re trying to blame everything else instead of accepting responsibility for your own actions. You started all this, and now all of us that pay our taxes have to fund your petty argument that you do more parenting just because once upon a time you did the registration at the GP and dentist.

If your children are teenagers, you should be funding your own way in life, and paying a full 50% of what your kids cost out of what you earn. There are plenty of men that lie about having a crazy ex, but you prove that there are a few out there.

What if he gets DC2 to submit something saying they like it better at their dad's and stay more often

And if you acknowledge, they are at exPs house 58% why do you think he shouldnt have the money?

https://www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/child-benefit-technical-manual/cbtm08030

Is that how it works though? If it’s so close (e.g. 58% it will swap to the other parent)? Because surely there are situations where kids sometimes stay with one more, sometimes with the other back and forth, so you’d end up swapping the child benefit all the time.

You know, I agree partially. I imagine when they were little you didnt get enough from him in terms of physical presence and emotional load. And if 10 years ago he wasnt paying that wasnt right.

But 2 wrongs dont make a right.

Surely its better for your children hes become a present parent? Surely he should be 50:50.

He was paying you, as well as becoming a more present parent. You went after the money, if you hadnt he wouldnt touch the benefits.

And here you are, seeing less of your children and its everyone else's fault and none of this is about how going from having your kids most of the time to 50% to 40% is hard.. no its why cant he pay me for the hard work I did 10 years ago

Even if your ex is a bad person, that doesn’t make lying to the court ok. It doesn’t mean you have no responsibility to do the right thing. Your anger and resentment is clouding your judgment you are not listening to anyone and if this is the case you put across in court you are going to look very silly. You need proper legal advice.

You cant ask a court to make a current judgment about what’s happening now based on what happened 10 years ago

and yes I do know this situation well I got £40 a week for 2 kids and he barely had them and lived in a £500k house and ripped me right off. I still have my dignity and pride though as I didn’t lie or play games like he did. You are as bad as you say he is. Neither of you look or sound good

You were a full time parent and now you aren’t, I know that must be hard for you but this is not the way to get revenge on him it’s just going to ruin your own life. All of us telling you that you will not win aren’t on his side, you just have a really weak case. Don’t do it

That's why they look over 12 weeks or so, because some people do week on week off etc.

You currently claim for youngest so minimally youll get the award a couple of weeks from his submission date, because if 2 people are equally able to claim the current awardee gets it for the week the rival claim goes in.

Then it will be where does the child reside most. If its with him theres a high probability he will get it. It may be if its just DC2 hes got 58% it could be a swap you get DC1 and he gets DC2.

But if he has them more nights in the period, that carries more weight than any admin you do

You need to start accepting that what happened last year, five years ago or ten years ago is irrelevant in terms of benefits and CMS.

They're only interested in what is happening now.

They don't work on any moral basis of "well she's done more previously". They work on the simple basis of where the child spends more time now. That's it.

Which you were told right at the beginning and still seem unable to accept.

This doesn't affect me at all but you ladies and her ex are saints. Does she even care about the kids or just the money?

Omg you can't make this up.

I don't understand why you feel so entitled to child benefit AND cms when you have 50/50.

Your ex's high wages are irrelevant - you are both financially responsible for providing for your children, and he is not required to provide a higher income lifestyle just because he earns more.

You've had years to improve your financial position. Stop trying to leech off him.

Look op, are you financially fucked when you lose this?

I think you do need to accept you are going to lose it. If actually what you need is financial advice, go on the money threads and get some sensible tips on raising your earnings/making some cost savings.

You just aren't going to be able to access your ex's money. You need to focus on your kids and stop wasting time on this.

I very much doubt he's needed to do any manipulation at all.

Just this thread on it's own is indicative of some serious personality defects if not a full blown disorder. If we're frustrated with you just reading your posts, I can imagine after 10+ years of living with you they are more than done.

We can understand and sympathise with this. Of course we can. But sympathy won’t get you the result you want.

Arguably, the CM he was paying and the fact you had both the CBs even with 50/50, was some kind of acknowledgment of that past mismatch - but you going for an increase is what has kicked this whole conflict off.

Would you say it’s likely he will succeed in his claim for the second child? Given it was only a few months ago they decided to split the CB and award one each?

Would you say it’s likely he will succeed in his claim for the second child? Given it was only a few months ago they decided to split the CB and award one each?

Would you say it’s likely he will succeed in his claim for the second child? Given it was only a few months ago they decided to split the CB and award one each?

They'll judge on the current time, so very likely he'll succeed if he has kept good records of when the children has been at his

Do you acknowledge at all yet that you sparked this by trying to get some of his pay rise when you were not remotely entitled to it?

Have you even tried to get things back onto any sort of good terms or just made it repeatedly worse still?

Arguably, the CM he was paying and the fact you had both the CBs even with 50/50, was some kind of acknowledgment of that past mismatch - but you going for an increase is what has kicked this whole conflict off.

I think it was more likely an acknowledgement that going from £1000 a month CM & CB to one round of CB would have been a huge step, even though he had the children more than before, so he went with £300 plus CB.

If he can prove he had 58% over the last 12 weeks its likely especially if its "increasing", I also think it will depend is it hes having both 58%+ or just DC2

However if you have DC1 more it could just be swapped to reflect who is providing more care to which of the children.

I would say whoever is getting DC2, there will be a time when due to DC1 becoming an adult where the CB and CMS will hinge entirely on DC2

I can't believe you are still continuing this shite , starting another thread ffs , 50/50 split is exactly that ! Increase your earning stop being such a lech

You probably should have taken his offer back in June. I would say that hindsight is 20/20 except that most people's regular sight would have seen this coming.

No idea, mate.

If they receive conflicting information that means you would be lying. Unless you plan to do that, they won't receive conflicting information so your question is irrelevant. Your avarice surely won't lead you to perjury and potentially having your children questioned for the purposes of a Tribunal. I'm not sure this is real as this is really a step too far. If it is real, the children should be with their father full time because this decision making is seriously questionable and far removed from the best interests of the children.

I’ll send the information off they’ve requested and see what they come back with

You’re the only one of the two of you that has been previously shown to have provided false information. Makes it easy to know who to believe now.