Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

[ProlongedAffair]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5294980-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads?reply=144269354

I can’t write on the previous thread anymore, so I’ve created this one for people interested in the outcome of the CMS case. I’m committed to telling people what the outcome is regardless of whether it goes my way or not.

"I'm going to apply for the child benefit while I'm in here because I've had to fill in a lot of forms. Will they backdate it to conception?"

@ProlongedAffair they can decide to deviate from the standard CMS formula if there are special or unusual circumstances such as a disabled child, or especially complex situations. But nothing you've ever said suggests this would apply in your case.

If his had the child 58% of the time. He would be considered the resident parent as he has them most.

You’ve played a game of FAFO and your losing.

Presumably you would confirm this in the interest of being truthful, so why wouldn't they believe him?

Why would the child being disabled make a difference and what are complex circumstances? My child does have autism if that makes a difference.

The child he is trying to get the child benefit for.

Did you still not get any legal advice?

How would they "receive" conflicting information if you both know the information is 58% time with your ex?

It may be that they still think CB for one child each is the way forward, given you both have both kids a meaningful amount of time. So best to tell the truth, hmm?

I asked on a legal website where you can ask a lawyer a question and they said that daily care is things like doctors and dentists and that it’s not just about it being 50/50 contact, it’s about which parent does the most

But he does those things, with the private health insurance, taking them to some of the appointments even if you book them in etc.

I still do more though.

the CMS tribunal will be months and months, but I’ve got another letter from child benefit about him trying to claim my youngest child’s benefit now. I had both claims then he did a rival claim and they gave him the older, me the younger. Now he’s trying to get the youngest which is why I’m asking whether the split of overnights recently will mean they will give it to him or not.

And also what evidence they look at and whether they will just take one parents word or not. How do they decide who’s telling the truth?

No difference for you at all if they are mostly living with the other parent! But e.g. severe needs where a child will take much longer to reach the usual education cut off point for child maintenance liability
As this is the first mention I suspect that's not the case here. Not going to comment any further as we keep going round the same circles.

Why not solve this problem by having the children 50/50 or even more for the next few months?

because he’s manipulating them so they want to spend more time with him

Riiiggggght

I don’t think it would be very hard to ascertain who a child was with in this day and age. If your child were prepared to share mobile phone location data with the court, that would be pretty damning.

But even things like receipts, driving data (if your ex is giving them lifts etc) would be strong evidence.

More to the point, are you really prepared to perjure yourself in court?!

I think you both need to come to some kind of agreement. And you need to see where the law stands and make him a fair offer based on that, not your personal feelings about the wrongs and rights of the situation.

Is this a joke?

I don’t think any of you understand what it is like to look after children for over a decade, pretty much single handed, then they reach teenage years and your ex swoops in, starts doing 50/50, doesn’t want to pay CMS and starts claiming the benefits you’ve had for years. I’ve no idea whether he’s going to win this second claim but it’s very unfair.

But it isn't unfair is it, because it's BEEN unfair and now it won't be, it's just you won't be getting what you want.

Why do you think he shouldn't claim the child benefit when the child is with him more?

But that's not your situation at all.

You were getting, fairly, a very large sum of maintenance when it wasn't 50/50. Then still, generously, getting a large sum when it was 50/50. You were in a very fortunate position getting £300 a month from him when you were 50/50.

Had you not been greedy when you heard about his payrise you'd still be in that fortunate position.

This isn't about him swooping in as he didn't want to pay. This is about you getting greedy, then doubling down when he wanted to sort it amicably and basically blowing up the relationship.

If I recall correctly he was paying her child support or whatever you all call it there over what he would have been legally required to pay in the past. So it wasn't even unfair then.

The other way of viewing that you’ve done all the hard work and now he swoops in is that he is now finally doing his share.

You started this because you wanted more money despite being 50/50 you got greedy and now you’re loosing it all.

The children will be able to see that as well. They will be able to see proof that and know they stayed 50/50 which unless super high earner means no maintenance and even then he was paying you £300 when he didn’t have to.

They will be able to be shown you put in a claim to get money you were not entitled to.

They will see that you are doing this to their dad. Dad doesn’t even need to woo them just show facts. This isn’t even about the children for you anymore it’s about the cash otherwise you would have hand up you’ve been an idiot and be doing 50/50 as you were. But no you are fighting for something you’re clearly not entitled too.

It doesn’t matter if he cannot get the child benefit. If he has them for over 50% you can’t have it and if you do have them 50% it should be split one child for each parent.

Now you have your children only 42% of the time he will get awarded both children and you’ll pay him maintenance and he will get child benefit for both.

Was all of this worth it to try and get extra money you were not even entitled too.

I mean it’s been unfair for him!