Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

[ProlongedAffair]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5294980-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads?reply=144269354

I can’t write on the previous thread anymore, so I’ve created this one for people interested in the outcome of the CMS case. I’m committed to telling people what the outcome is regardless of whether it goes my way or not.

I found your last thread a really hard read, as your indignation got in the way of the information.

Can I summarise and you can say if it’s accurate?

You had 2dc and claimed child benefit, and your ex paid CM as the DC were with you most of the time.

The DC are now 50/50 so he reduced his CM. You didn’t want him to reduce it as he earns a lot, so you put in a CMS claim.

He has now put in a retaliation claim for Child Benefit and may be awarded one child’s CB leaving you with the other.

You are angry because you will lose CB and he won’t receive any money because he earns too much, so it’s a waste.

We are waiting for the outcome of the CMS claim, and the CB claim.

Is that right?

Don’t forget the part where the OP kept telling us she is the primary carer even though she isn’t

I have lost one of the child benefits, he has been awarded it.

He has now used this to challenge CMS (awaiting outcome). Meanwhile, I’ve received a letter from court that he is challenging the CMS decision to award me maintenance and its going to tribunal.

CMS has deemed me primary carer and this is what he is arguing. I’ve been asking what do they classify as primary carer and what sort of evidence do they look at.

Ah, so 1 CB was awarded to him, and CMS was awarded to you. Was it more than he was already paying, out of interest?

The impression that I got before was that you were incredibly angry that he was effectively ’winning’ more than anything else.

You tried to get extra CM from him, because you feel you do more and he earns more, so it would be fairer if he paid more.

He felt that he does as much as you, has the dc the same amount as you, so why should he? So he retaliated with the CB and is now challenging the CMS as well.

I’m not going to comment on the technical stuff. However, I would warn you about your DC. They are teens. They can choose where to go. Don’t get so focused on being angry with their dad that they start to feel uncomfortable at home with you.

Your DC need you to be making and keeping a warm loving home for them. If you get distracted by your anger at their dad, they may vote with their feet and stay with him full time.

And you know what, is this costing the tax payer money? Because it sounds like a pointless tit for tat squabble and it’s using up resources better spent on vulnerable women and dc.

With the loss of child benefit and if he manages to get one child removed from the CMS I will still be slightly better off, if he starts claiming off me then it’s negligible.

tbh I know what most people think, that’s it’s ‘equal’ and I’m not primary carer but I have to disagree. I’ve been primary carer for years before 50/50, my name is registered to more things and the CMS deem me as the primary carer.

ive Only created this second thread because people have asked me up update what happens and I’ve said I will, just as I updated what happened with the child benefits even though it was a decision I don’t agree with and that went against me.

Yes I would have been better off in the private arrangement with the child benefits on top but that’s long gone now and he’s said if he wins in court he won’t be paying anything ever again

So I might as well just continue challenging it and take it to court and see what happens

@ProlongedAffair are you aware you could end up being worse off defending it in court? Not only will you need to repay the CMS to your ex, he could ask for interest and it's likely he'll ask for you to pay his court costs which, if he's using a lawyer could run into the thousands.

I am genuinely baffled as to why you keep insisting that you are the primary carer because of some paperwork, arranging some appointments and saying that CMS have deemed you as such when you've been told that CMS do no investigation or checks they simply take what the claimant tells them as factual.

Have you sought any sort of legal advice yourself?

Any updates?

Following with interest. Thanks for starting the new thread.

Have there been any developments? Do you have a court date?

Update: I did say I would update the thread, let this serve as a warning to others in a 50/50 situation.

My ex used the child benefit for one of the children to get them removed from my CMS case and backdated to when HMRC decided he was entitled to it. They’ve taken all the money he paid for that child off my current case for our second child. Obviously this also puts me at a massive disadvantage, as he is also challenging in court the basis of the whole CMS claim, which I only opened a couple of months prior to the child he’s now managed to remove.

He has since emailed me saying we can still reach an amicable agreement about finances, or he will open a counter claim against me for the child he now receives the benefit. He will also continue to challenge the CMS case for the second child. He also intends to continue the court process if I don’t agree.

In a 50/50, even if you believe you do more and CMS initially deems you primary carer, be very careful. CMS has repeatedly told me I am primary carer too, it’s not just me being indignant as someone else said.

He has since emailed me saying we can still reach an amicable agreement about finances, or he will open a counter claim against me for the child he now receives the benefit. He will also continue to challenge the CMS case for the second child. He also intends to continue the court process if I don’t agree.

Hopefully you've had the sense to agree to this?

CMS has repeatedly told me I am primary carer too, it’s not just me being indignant as someone else said.

You still don't seem to be understanding that CMS only viewed you as the primary carer because of the information you gave - primarily the child benefit. Not because you were the primary carer.

I’m sorry you are having a hard time.

Doing things amicably is always better if possible- it’s just so unpredictable once you are in a hostile situation.

"believe" is probably the key word here. I read the other thread and can see you strongly believed to be the primary carer even if the other posters didn't or your ex or the courts or CMS .

In what way and based on what did the CMS tell you repeatedly you were primary carer? Sounds like with new information they have adjusted it.

Maybe it would've been better not being so bloody greedy in the first place

.

"let this serve as a warning to others in a 50/50 situation."

The 50/50 situation isn't the cause of your woes, it's bitterness and greed.

"He has since emailed me saying we can still reach an amicable agreement about finances"

He's a fucking saint.

"In a 50/50, even if you believe you do more and CMS initially deems you primary carer, be very careful. "

Be very careful not to base any claims off vibes or vague beliefs?

Hope he wins.

@ProlongedAffair

Thanks for the update. You've taken a huge amount of stick and it's pretty gutsy to keep coming back to the thread.

I admire your transparency. I hope you are able to come to the decision that the court process isn't going to be helpful and you negotiate with your ex.

CMS assumed you were the primary carer because that's what you told them. Now that better evidence has come along that assumption will likely change to reflect reality rather than a fiction based on your "but I fill in more forms!!" nonsense. Which, notably, you were already being compensated for via his voluntary payments but apparently that wasn't enough for you. Must have been some REALLY big forms.

In summary, you're going to end up no better off and quite possibly worse off. And you've destroyed an amicable co-parenting relationship in doing so. What an entirely predicted outcome.

They said because I claimed the child benefit and because the children are registered with my GP, Dentist and I do more paperwork I am the resident parent and entitled to CMS. They seem to have now backtracked on that.

When did they say that? YOU said that, and everyone told you they wouldn't care about any of that, especially the paperwork.